Which traits make a Dominant or submissive attractive?

LordofPain56 • Sep 9, 2020

Ha ! After reading this, I went back to an old profile I had saved but no longer exists anywhere on the internet, and looked at the personal characteristics section, where I was able to pinpoint about 98% of the traits listed in my profile that matches with what people say they want in this post.
And it makes me wonder why I have been such a failure at keeping anybody long term.
But then, oh wait, it wasn't because of anything I lacked. Turns out they never intended to stick around anyway, just get what they wanted for now and then off to greener pastures.
Somethin about short term partners just never set well with me. Guess I was just a hopeless long-termer.
Still seems funny that all those characteristics that everybody seems to want didn't do me much good.

Defender​(dom male) • Sep 9, 2020

I try to live by the principles espoused in the poem entitled "If" by Rudyard Kipling.

If you haven't read it, it might be worth a google.

DesertLizard​(sub female) • Sep 9, 2020

what tohruhonda said resonates a lot with me ^^

"For me personally, a VERY attractive quality in a dom is quiet. Not silence, but the “I’m going to just enjoy watching this temper tantrum play out” kind of quiet."

Also patience, firmness, assertiveness, decisiveness, generosity, self-control, confidence. To elaborate more on the "quiet" thing. It massively attracts me when a guy just sort of looks at me quietly with amusement while I'm telling a story or rant about something or the like. I am a sucker for a "knowing smile".

Miki​(masochist female) • Sep 9, 2020

Though I list as a Maso-Girl, in a dom I would want someone in charge, whom I can serve, and who would equally dominate me yet respect me in the morning, as the cliche goes.

As with all human dynamics, there is no cut-and-dried "rule book".

As they say on those myriad late night commercials (the fine print, Folks!)

"Your Results May Vary".

Best solution? Communication.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Sep 10, 2020

From a Dom? Self awareness and the ability to articulate who they are and what they need/want. Balance, them wanting to know me as much as be known by me.

Richlydefined​(sub female){Gardener} • Sep 10, 2020

Presence. I'm most attracted to Dominants who naturally and instinctively command attention. Those people your eye is automatically drawn to the moment they come into a space.

emeX​(sub male) • Sep 10, 2020

Some traits that attract me to a particular Domme...

-Female Supremacist. To Her all men should be enslaved to Women.

-Confidence based on experience-based knowledge.

-Demanding, hard to please.

-Perversion (human behavior that deviates from that which is understood to be orthodox or normal. Although the term perversion can refer to a variety of forms of deviation, it is most often used to describe sexual behaviors that are considered particularly abnormal, repulsive or obsessive.) Source Wiki.

-Vulgarizer (a person who lowers the quality, character, or value. Debaser, degrader).

-Strict (of a rule or discipline) demanding total obedience or observance; rigidly enforced.

-Dark-side traits (argumentative, narcissism, perfectionism, etc). Bonus if She's into Goth

-Manipulative, Controlling.

Draiocht​(dom male) • Sep 10, 2020

Location, location, location...

annabellestasia​(sub female) • Sep 10, 2020

A Dom who uses both intellect and humour to MAKE me want submit. Still not sure it exists.

surreytrainer​(dom male) • Oct 16, 2020

Come and play the word game

It does....if you look hard enough