Feminization is not humiliation, it's elevation

Feminization is not humiliation, it's elevation

emeX​(sub male) • Sep 16, 2020

Feminization is often classified as a subgenre of 'humiliation play'. In practice, you take a man, make him out to be a women (dress him up, makeup, etc). The result of this is humiliation for the man. But why?

What's really going on in this man's mind? Could it be Women = humiliating? Femininity = weakness and embarrassment? Let's not leave out Misogyny.

What if the roles were reversed? What if you took a Women and dressed Her like a man. Is this a form of humiliation too? Does this Women now feel humiliated because now she looks like a man? Or does She feel now stronger and more powerful?

i don't think i have to tell you what i think about all this. Read the title.

And the Women who put this into practice (on men) should consider doing a double take. Just a suggestion.

Thank You.

IceGirl​(switch female) • Sep 16, 2020

I never thought it is humiliation I think thats a very narrow view. I am glad you see that however i dont feel like if i dress any which way i am more or less humiliated.

I think the most important aspect is expressing yourself who you are i feel in being genuine you find a power and that we should be with people who help bring that out of us.

emeX​(sub male) • Sep 16, 2020

i do want to add...Some men (possibly women and non binary people as well) practice this fetish as a means to explore the 'other/opposite' side, to feel 'sexy', or experience 'femininity' in general...there is no harm in that. But what i see in the vast majority, and if you do a bit of research on the subject, it is clear that feminization is used as a form of male humiliation.

Re: Feminization is not humiliation, it's elevation

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Sep 16, 2020

i don't think feminization is either (i.e. "humiliation" or "elevation"). i don't think gender makes one inferior or superior.

i wrestled with this for a long time and think i finally figured it out a few months ago. i am not what most would call "fem" or have overt "fem" attributes. i'm not a stereotypical 'fem' gay guy. Though i did have some 'fem' qualities as a child, they got conditioned out of me (or buried for survival). i have to tell people i am gay if i want them to know, or if i casually mention it, most people are surprised.

For me, it can be a huge turn on when a Dom or Top guy wants to feminize me, and i get both embarrassed and thrilled (a paradox i don't think is uncommon in this?). Though cognitively i don't consider it humilating or inferior, our feelings are in a different part of the brain than reason or cognition is, and i think that's where and why people experience the seemingly contradictory feelings of "humiliation" or "degradation" and erotic thrill, desire and turn on at the same time. This bothered me and added a layer of shame because i knew that feminine isn't humiliating or degrading, yet i still felt that way.

What i came to realize i was experiencing is a conditioned emotional response of "humiliation" or "degradation," the same one that was programmed into me as a kid as i grew up and resulted in my going into hiding. The erotic thrill and turn on for me is the power of a Dom seeing me, seeing past the hiding, exposing me and, really, affirming me. His desire for those feminine things in me is affirmation and thrilling. We are both connecting, despite our cultural conditioning. The emotions of "humiliation" or "degradation" i may feel are feelings i developed in prison, so to speak, almost a sort of PTSD, yet i now love them because i am simultaneously getting a deeper recognition and affirmation at the same time. It's like a side effect that one may get from a drug, but the overall effect is so good, that the summary assessment is "wow, what a great drug." I.e., i'm not actually doing this for the humiliation or degradation feelings i have no control over, i even love those feelings now because something real and buried is getting seen, desired, nurtured.

Knightsundere​(sub male) • Sep 16, 2020

Of course it's not humiliation but the whole foundation of a lot of fetishes is in doing something "naughty" or alternative. Exhibitionism isn't a fetish if it's not taboo to have sex in public - feminization isn't a fetish unless it's seen as daring to be feminine.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Sep 19, 2020

There are guys that will all too happily dress like a female. They do it to get attention. They don't feel humiliated in the least.

This just leaves me scratching my head and wondering if they're incapable of getting that attention if they didn't.

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Sep 19, 2020

There is also text book Dommes who do this more often than not thinking it's a way to make a man submissive or more submissive.. It's also a form of self hatred projected onto men by weaker Dommes . Oh and the "Dommes" who cant tell the difference between a submissive and a guy who needs a beard to be a CD or femboi and a man secure in his gender and sexuality he doesnt need explore feminization to be a submissive..

Feminization is not humiliation, its elevation

substevie​(sub male){I wish som} • Sep 20, 2020

I have been feminized a time or two and didnt find it humiliating until i was forced to go outdoors and move among the vanilla crowd. I actually enjoyed being made to become a person of another sex. It was a different feeling that was stimulating and felt sexy and unknown to me at that time. I enjoyed it and would enjoy it again. If it were to happen because i know that if my Mistress were to go to the trouble of dressing and putting makeup on me to make me appear female than she must enjoy seeing me as female for some reason so it makes me enjoy it because if she does and it makes her happy then i will do it to please my Mistress because she is the light of my existence. I will do anything for her.

LadyHoss​(dom female) • Sep 20, 2020

My subs find it to be freeing in a way. They can feel as beautiful as they always are. But the one main reason for them is that it allows them to be stripped of masculinity and to be able to feel and be vulnerable.

Society says men have to act a certain way. That's a lot of pressure on men. So being able to come home to an environment they know they are cherished in every way allows them to be who they need to be. When they're stripped of masculinity, they can let go of all the burden that comes with it for a little while, and as a Domme, being able to witness that is an honor.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Sep 20, 2020

There's a reason I have concerns with this viewpoint. Men get lumped into this "macho" BS. Do a lot behave that way? Yes. Do all? No. Should the ones that don't have to be "stripped" to feel like they can just be themselves without having to be dressed up? What if some men CAN do that without the stripping but think they can't and therefor get "trapped" in Feminization? I think that's something to keep in mind. That people CAN be loved and accepted without having to do that. Even if it feels like they can't. I happen to know a guy with a large number of flaws (who can admit it, fortunately) that dresses up.

I'll repeat what I stated earlier. They often do it to get more attention. But what does this say of their "male" half? The "inadequate" half perhaps?

I see the main issue being females mistrusting the "standard male" (not all of course. But certainty enough). So of course males feel like they might have to change to be accepted. There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself. But what if a fear of being "compared" to macho males drives people in Feminization? That's getting into it for the wrong reasons IMO.


This would be the source of my concern. Too many people expect X and Y group to be this or that. Thing is those expectations tend to get shattered. The main issue with society is that the group mentality leads to misplaced mistrust very easily. If someone is "too different" then they get looked down on by "the group". And honestly? That's the way it has to be.

But it's still on X person for falling into the "group trap" and not ACTUALLY being accepted when only the surface is shown. People break down. They cry. They feel. And it's BS that it's compared to women as if only that gender suffers and feels. As if a guy is incapable of being just as "deep" or whatever. In reality both genders make excuses to deny their feelings. Those in denial and making excuses anyway. The ones honest about it can be upfront and make that "connection". Regardless of gender. Anyone that claims "You should or shouldn't because common viewpoint" is actually PRESSURING people into being anything else other then what's expected. I view this as harmful, which is one thing. But I also view it as not even giving people the option. People might not mean to do it but that just makes it worse. Don't be like X. Don't be like Y. Just be you. Otherwise you're trying to "fit in". BEFORE you even accepted yourself. That can easily lead to desperation instead of guanine acceptance.

A man is JUST as vulnerable as a woman. Likewise women will claim to be different then men but are actually more alike then they care to admit (my ex would put any man to shame). People see what they want to see. But I've seen enough of both to know it's dependent on who you ask in the gender itself. X fears Y. Y fears X. Seeing the worst. It's BS. Not everyone has such negative viewpoints of course, but certainty enough to make people feel like they have to be anything else other then what they are. Exploring other things is good. But making people feel like they can't even "exist"? That's bad. Very very bad.

Pinning it on the gender (be it for a positive reason or negative) demeans the gender IMO. Society pretends. But strip away the layers enough and you see the person for who they really are. Not a "man". Not a "woman". But them.

But of course people jump on bandwagons and go with what "same gender here" is doing (or whatever other group). But by making it about the genders isn't that doing exactly what you don't like about society? To "compare and project"? That is of course if the reason for it is to be different then the gender you physically are.

If you're into it for reasons other then that though then the above doesn't stand. But under THOSE conditions it can lead to a lack of "self acceptance". It would also be a mistake to get trapped in a feral form online and hide behind it forgetting your anthro half. But that's another matter. Similar enough for a comparison though. Does the "other half" (the male?) get accepted genially? Or are you shunning it yourself because of the expectations and negative viewpoints of others? Which, naturally, drains confidence within said area.