Should I be worried?

Should I be worried?

girlyGoddess​(switch female) • Feb 9, 2021

I’ve been talking with an amazing Dom for these past couple of months. It’s been really nice getting to know each other and going through the training period. Every day I’ll get a good morning text and be expected so respond, or say it first, once I’m awake. Lately there’s been nothing but radio static silence. No calls, texts, commands, nothing. Three days of nothing. When He had gone away like this for a few days in the beginning He had said He was busy with work. I don’t doubt my Sir but I still worry I may have done something to upset Him? I don’t want to call or text because He doesn’t like when I incessantly bug Him when He works. I don’t really know what to do....

House Talion​(dom male) • Feb 9, 2021

It's common for an ubber-dom or wanna-be to ghost once they're done and got what they wanted.

It's also common for ubber-doms to ghost their subs as of their training in order to test faithfulness.

It's also common for ubber-doms to ghost once they beleive their inabilities are soon to be found out.

Even with the present profile creation restrictions we still have too many ubber-doms, but I hope this isnt the case with your problems

girlyGoddess​(switch female) • Feb 9, 2021

I hope not as well.

LordofPain56 • Feb 10, 2021

Tell ya what. Years ago, I had a girl who started calling me at work twice in the morning and twice in the afternoon. She KNEW where I was and when I would be home, because I told her everyday. So, The second night I came home after she started doing this, I told her she could NOT call me at work because I was too busy with work and phonecalls related to work. I had begun to think she didn't trust me, and that she speculated that I had not told her the truth about where I was during the day. I never broke my promise to her and was always home by the time I told her I would be.
In order to convince her that everything was as I said it was, I actually brought her to the office with me for the whole day so she could see for herself how crazy it was there, and how much I needed to concentrate on my work. I packed an extra lunch for her (I never went out to lunch when I worked there). I kept working during lunchtime and ate a sandwich at my desk.
It surely enough did convince her, but by then it didn't matter, because she shortly afterward got a job of her own working nights, so she slept during the daytime, except weekends she worked during the day. So I rarely ever saw her after she got that job, and it busted up the relationship. She eventually ran off with a man who worked where she did.
Sooo. Is he telling you when he is going to return? If not, why does it need to be a secret?

Kelpi • Feb 10, 2021

Let me be honest. A hello in the morning is great at lunch if not busy yes. After work lets chat. During work no. My rule is if I hear nothing after three days you get one text after five I am gone unless you have said something before hand. I won't wait for you to make up your mind if you want to talk or not. If you call or text after that ok we can be friends but that is it. I won't have a sub wait on me and do not want to wait on her. After months? this seems a little harsh just to stop like that. Text and see what happens.

girlyGoddess​(switch female) • Feb 10, 2021

@LordofPain56 he’s never told me when he actually is done working. I know he runs his own digital marketing company, but I don’t know much more than that, I know he has lots of meetings and calls throughout the day but I don’t actually know when he begins or ends work.

@Kelpi, I couldn’t really do something like that, I’d have to tell the person and my reasoning behind it and have a discussion. I find communication very important, especially in relationships in BDSM

TheWhorelock​(dom male) • Feb 10, 2021

Dramatics aside, I’d give it till day 5 and then message. Nothing drastic, just a polite message asking for communication. And give that a few days. If he doesn’t respond though it might be time to write it off as a ghost.

It’s incredibly crappy that ghosting has become so normal. For him to have been communicating for months and then to disappear is... unfortunate. Hopefully he is just walking back to civilization after being waylaid by bandits on his drive back from his secret base in the mountains, or similarly predictable dilemma.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Feb 10, 2021

GirlyGrim​(switch female){slave boy}
Should I be worried?

"I’ve been talking with an amazing Dom for these past couple of months."
(You mean based on what he told you he was.)

"It’s been really nice getting to know each other and going through the training period."
(I'm sorry to say that this sounds a little too much like he played at Dominance and called it training to see you masturbate for him and do his bidding on cam.)

(The training concept is a hot bed of debate. Since the most he can show you is how he likes things and we old farts call that getting acquainted. If you never sat across from him in a vanilla setting and spoke of real life - the good and bad of it, I don't think he knows you well enough to ask anything of you. And you very likely don't know enough about him to submit to him.)

"Every day I’ll get a good morning text and be expected so respond, or say it first, once I’m awake. Lately there’s been nothing but radio static silence. No calls, texts, commands, nothing. Three days of nothing. When He had gone away like this for a few days in the beginning He had said He was busy with work."

(Right so he has never made a personal call at work? Where is his job located? Nazi Germany?)

"I don’t doubt my Sir (will all due respect I suggest you start doubting him big time) but I still worry I may have done something to upset Him? (the odds are against you having done anything wrong.)

"I don’t want to call or text because He doesn’t like when I incessantly bug Him when He works. I don’t really know what to do...." (so when have you ever bugged him at work? Or is that his intro line? While there are times when work is too demanding and I do not allow phone games at my job, I am totally able to take a call and make a call regarding non-work related issues.)
............
I think you need to decide what is acceptable for you. I decided long ago that I needed a reliable partner. And when they do this stuff they are no longer reliable. So if they are married and cheating, playing me, or have several others on the line it doesn't matter. Them being unreliable, is the deal breaker. I have to trust my gut and my core values.

There are times when my job is very demanding. I know in advance most of the time when that will be. So people close to me know not to expect an immediate response to a call, but I do respond. I go home some time.

This realm is still filled with vanilla people. They work, have emergencies, demands from work, get sick etc. They are not exempt from common courtesy just because we engage in power exchange and BDSM. If you wouldn't tolerate this treatment from a vanilla boy friend, i suggest you rethink what you tolerate here.

I would also suggest you read Steve Harvey's book, "act like a lady but think like a man" excellent read. And watch the movie "he's just not into you" also very helpful.

While you wait to hear from him, you might want to think about what is important to you. How you are treated. How you are valued. If he keeps his word. etc. Then work on that rather than assume you are at fault. Seldom is the ghosted person at fault of anything beyond believing the wrong person.
..
I'm sorry. I know this is all hurtful. But the more you learn on your own, the less hurt you will be by these people.

Hang in there.

Jlicious​(sub female) • Feb 10, 2021

Sorry this is happening it’s unfortunate. Weird that everything was going well for months and then stops.. Hope all is okay and it’s not what you think.
After you text him him , Hope he ends up texting you back .
Good luck

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} • Feb 10, 2021

gone for days? This is a thing he is willing to waste his red flags on? He may not be worth it, right out of the gate.

I will tell you, I have never been in this situation. I maintain pretty active communication with my partners, and they with me. Call this a limit if you will. It is a commitment to our commitment. These things should never be the rule. Figure out what your baseline for communication is. If they can't do this small thing, they are never going to be able to step up in the more important ways.

Next: Allow for variance on your baseline. They disappear for a day or two, once... perfectly acceptable, they don't even need a reason. No need to freak out. I am perfectly comfortable only talking to my SO once a day, but it is more than that, always. You literally don't even need to be "Thinking" of someone to send them a message once a day. I am the MOST INTROVERTED person you will ever meet... my friends hear from me once a week, once every few days, family less often... but SO... you realize one day you will be living with each other right? It is a silly game to play, and it is an unrealistic expectation of a long term relationship to not say "Hi" daily.

Now, I expect certain things from my Sir above that, but this thing? This is a thing you hear so much. Just resign that they are not in a place to be able to have a dynamic relationship. They can find flings on Tinder, and if you are okay with that, then that is what you have. If you aren't, you will have to move on.