tallslenderguy(other male)
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2 years ago •
Nov 6, 2022
Re: What characteristics do you look for in a potential dom/ groogle wrote: I've seen a lot of relationship advice recently from people with very different viewpoints, and I'm curious about what other people actually care about and value in a woman/man they want to date.
Are there specific physical attributes? Character qualities? What makes someone attractive? i look for compatibility that can feed and sustain a symbiotic relationship. i believe to have/find compatibility requires openness, vulnerability. Openness/vulnerablity requirers self knowledge and the ability to communicate. i think without these, we cannot discover our compatibilities. Communication is a balancing act that i think requires skill that comes from practice, skill and balance that derives from an honest interest to know and be known. An understanding and dedication to the principle/s of love, which i consider a measure of maturity. i'm not talking the fickle feeling of love here, but the practical exercise of grace that recognizes our flawed condition, but wants to always work towards better vs capitulating to our flawed condition. i think balance is a big one when it comes to love because i think the need for love is intrinsic to being human. i believe a mature relationship finds balance where each is dedicated to giving as much as getting love. i guess i should add here, a simple definition of love i have (which doesn't make it any easier lol!) is: the practice of listening and looking in order to 'hear' and 'see' another in order to acknowledge and affirm their value. That sounds way more clinical than i think it is in practice. i find it can be warm and wonderful. |
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Online now
Onlinedomguy(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Nov 6, 2022
For me it is always about the mind. Who the person is, what they have an interest in and where they are in the life. Of course their physical self matters some - but I am much more interested in who the person is and what gets the excited, what makes them smile, and how kind they are.
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SassyinCali(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Nov 6, 2022
When I was looking it was not so much about specific physical characteristics. Yes, there needs to be an attraction. But I find different things attractive in different people. So it does not come down to an eye color or anything like that for me. The important qualities to me are intelligence, ability to communicate clearly and consistently, confidence, compassion, similar sense of humor, maturity, and compatible kinks/interests.
I am also drawn to Doms who are playful and sensual, but have a stern side. It is important to me that he shows an interest in what I am passionate about. He does not have to share that passion, but just show an interest. I need to feel heard. Not always agreed with, just heard. Along with all of that, I have to feel that I have ability to please and serve him. |
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Knightsundere(sub male)
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2 years ago •
Nov 6, 2022
Recently found out I reaaally need someone laid back. I get way more adrenaline around people than I need so someone calm and levelheaded just seems important. I'm personally a bit laissez-faire myself so having a more intense partner is nice, but not to a degree where it makes the home feel on-edge about things that aren't even within the house, yknow.
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I'mME
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2 years ago •
Nov 8, 2022
Miki wrote: I keep it simple., and since I'm inactive, I'd have to call it what I'd look for in a --hypothetical-- pal.
Not necessarily a dom or even a guy although I make better friends with dudes. One might almost say "vanilla extract mixed in" and that's what works for me. Physical attributes? Here's where I'd love to say "The second coming of John "Johnny Wadd" Holmes--- but that's bullshit. I don't place a lot of emphasis-- within reason-- on what someone looks like. I mean I'll be friendly with anyone but for attraction, weight extremes do give me pause.. and I mean Son of Skeletor -- or the fucking Sta Puft thing from Ghostbusters (the first one) . ---That's simply nature and the hormones. Laws of attraction and all that shit. Aside from that as long as the partner is clean I'm down. Character qualities? Well I'm at mos at home in the company of fellow smart-asses. Also, people who aren't thin skinned because (not that anyone would notice) my witty side is occasionally caustic. I'll add "candid"-- Candor is a quality we don't see as much as we used to, because it seems people are too sensitive these days and being too honest can get one's ass in a sling. Candid as opposed to just plain "honest" Everyone wants that, but it comes in varying degrees. And finally, what makes someone attractive to me-- all of the above... It also helps if someone doesn't like to talk too much. ------------------------------------------------------- Side comment for the O P... The bit about "all kinds of relationship advice" from "differing viewpoints".. Therein lies the rub. I don't seek relationship advice anywhere online, or even IRL -- Advice is often opinion-driven Relationship advice, from my perspective, is like toilet paper. There's a lot of different types out there but through it all, you have to find a balance between the cheap one-ply that's as good as newspaper on over to the too-fluffy kind that feels like you're wiping your ass with cotton balls. eewwww! ---------------------------------------------------- If none of this helped, sorry... I have never been in a committed or long term relationship so I'm sure a lot of what I just wrote isn't too helpful. But I wrote it anyway! Miki, I am candid as well Miki, so I appreciate you. |
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LordofPain56
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2 years ago •
Nov 8, 2022
I prefer someone who is routine-oriented rather than spontaneous, but at the same time, doesn't mind a surprize every once in a while (I meant a good surprize). She would need to follow the rules (clearly set forth in our covenant) or she would be in trouble all the time. She would need to be satisfied with the environment that I have provided (90 yr old house, mid fifty's car and appliances, etc), as well as not caring so much that we don't have the most modern conveniences, like trash compactor, in-sink disposer, cellphones or ice-maker. (All of this is done manually). She wouldn't care that we don't live in a big city since I prefer country life. I would prefer someone who is a protestant Christian or willing to learn and someone who is smart enough to pick out the lies and propaganda of the mainstream media. She shouldn't be a worry-wart, but should be faithful that if anything goes wrong, I will fix it promptly. She should be the type who owns up to her responsibilities, particularly those that she has chosen to fulfill on her own. She should not be the type that attempts to deceive or manipulate and she should be gracious enough to treat her friends and relatives with kindness even when they may not be so gracious.
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Dom Pinnacle(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Nov 8, 2022
LordofPain56 wrote: I prefer someone who is routine-oriented rather than spontaneous, but at the same time, doesn't mind a surprize every once in a while (I meant a good surprize). She would need to follow the rules (clearly set forth in our covenant) or she would be in trouble all the time. She would need to be satisfied with the environment that I have provided (90 yr old house, mid fifty's car and appliances, etc), as well as not caring so much that we don't have the most modern conveniences, like trash compactor, in-sink disposer, cellphones or ice-maker. (All of this is done manually). She wouldn't care that we don't live in a big city since I prefer country life. I would prefer someone who is a protestant Christian or willing to learn and someone who is smart enough to pick out the lies and propaganda of the mainstream media. She shouldn't be a worry-wart, but should be faithful that if anything goes wrong, I will fix it promptly. She should be the type who owns up to her responsibilities, particularly those that she has chosen to fulfill on her own. She should not be the type that attempts to deceive or manipulate and she should be gracious enough to treat her friends and relatives with kindness even when they may not be so gracious.
I read this. And...this is good. |
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