Ownership

Ownership

Heart of Persephone​(sub female) • Sep 22, 2023

What comes to mind when you think of ownership? Do you see ownership a step above being collared, or sits at the same level? When someone says they are owned what do you think?

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Sep 22, 2023

Well from an Old School view, BEING collared meant being owned. The thing was understanding, back then, what wearing a collar meant to someone.

These days it is simple an ornament. A fashion statement.

In my viewpoint, One does not become a Master until one has property. Until they take the responsibility of Ownership of someone, they are simply Dom/me.

To me: Ownership means Protection, Care, Education, Interaction, and Love. (There is more but it is early here) .

But there is one thing that it really means and that is Responsibility. If you are going to want to look cool by owning someone, you have to take care of them. You need to be responsible for AND to them. I find today, this is the main failure of being own.

ribbonbaby​(sub female){Guarded} • Sep 22, 2023

Being owned can be, from what I have seen in the community, either a way of marking property (M/s), or a kink for some, or as Topeka mentioned, an equivalent to collaring. For me, being collared and owned are the same thing. They are marks of a commitment of love, trust, responsibility, care, honesty, and more. And, from the few collarings I have been witness to, it is a long term thing. It is not something to be entered into lightly, being akin to marriage. That's my view on it 🤷

chattel​(sub female) • Sep 22, 2023

What Topeka said

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Sep 22, 2023

i think this is a great question.

i see generally two approaches from people re ownership, a sort of letter or the law vs spirit of the law question. i personally go with spirt vs letter, which is not to suggest one way is right and one is wrong.

i see the "letter" as more traditional and ritual, that the relationship is guided and framed by those things. i can see such things as stabilizing factors that can frame and hold a relationship together when one or the other is not 'feeling' it. The challenge i see in such an approach is it makes it easier for the rules to supplant the people.

i see people and relationship as fluid, that "ownership" is an ideal to be aspired and committed too rather than conformed too. I.e., we own ownership, it doesn't own us. i know it sounds sort of Buddhist, but when i have experienced ownership, it's happened in the moment. For me it's rooted in a connection/exchange that results in possession and being possessed.

One may own a car, but i feel the power of ownership is happening when driving more than when it's parked in a separate place in the garage.

Shadowmere​(dom male){juststeph} • Sep 22, 2023

I agree with what MsDemples said about collaring being akin to marriage; that's how I see it in my relationship, at least. I view it as a symbol of ownership and commitment.

I also agree with what TopekaDom said about it being used as a fashion statement these days.

I think, at the end of the day, though, it's just up to the people in the relationship and what they want it to mean.

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • Sep 22, 2023

Originally, I wouldve though m/s dynamic.

Now I feel like it's that special bond between 2 people that have that consenting dynamic of being owned.
Like for me, I'm owned by my dom. He has me collared. But I view is much bigger than the collaring because I trust him with my life. We cannot have that tpe dynamic just because of what we want and who we are, but I trust him to take care of me sexually, physically, and mentally. And I him. It's a yin and yang for us

gaaoo​(dom male) • Sep 23, 2023

well when master decided to have the ownership of his sub slave that means he has reached the level of satisfaction and decided to take the ownership,
ownership and collared are same its mean master decided to take the responsibility of his sub , take care of her needs protect her not share her with anyone dont allow any one to touch her love her .

Miki​(masochist female) • Sep 23, 2023

For me it would be a matter of semantics.

But... I had to snort-and-giggle at above quote.. to mark property I'd fully expect one who strongly resembles Topeka to whip out his magic wand and piss the perimeter of my room-- but that was only my in-head movie projector rolling---

As I said, it's all semantics plus a dab of an agreed-to relationship between D and s.

I'mME • Sep 23, 2023

That's the crux of this type of question, then answers..Words have definitions, I was a readerholic up until 2016, I still read a lot, but it's not books, and there is a difference. When I read something and run into a word that seems to be used in place of another word, I have stop and go back over what I'm reading, double-checking to make sure I understand what the writer is trying to get across. I'm not a perfectionist by no means, however, words have definitions and I pride myself on my critical reading skills and hence my vocabulary knowledge.
All that has transpired over the last 3.5 yrs, the re-purposing of words has gained a foothold. That doesn't make it right. I will correct in certain forums on social media... Words put into phrases that are made up, that's just a big NO for me.

So in the kink world, I see this behavior going on also. Certainly, people can run their dynamic any way they decide. But when it comes to what things mean, being that communication is huge or should be, people could try a little harder to do their research, look up a definition of a term.
It's almost like, someone doesn't like what a word means, but they want the word, so willy nilly, overnight, a word with a definition, becomes something else. What about, what it was?


TO continually misappropriate words weakens them. It can make someone not as effective at getting their point across. And in this sub-culture world, or anywhere, we WANT TO BE HEARD.

I used to be a pretty good writer, but these days, It doesn't seem so anymore.

Another thing that may contribute to misappropriation of words is an obsession with labels. While there are no laws on the books for assigning other meanings to a word, those people should not be offended when people that have beem doing in this lifestyle (Authority Transfer dynamics) for years.
When forum questions like this come around, the entire premise behind it is people being able to write authentically.
Too often I see ppl who are newer to this sub-culture close off their mind and/or tell someone that has years of experience ,get over yourself. They do not have to use those exact words, telling someone that a word, the definition, is not what it was, is pretty much the same thing.

I think two peoples dynamic can be what they say it is. There are words that can be interpreted one way or another, their very definition allows that. Relationship is one of those words. The opposite is their are words that i don't care who, what, where, the definition is the definition.
Owned is ine of those words.


So while ownership can be this or that, when I hear the word or read the word, It means that 2 people have dedicated themselves to a authority transfer. One agrees to follow, the other agrees to take responsibility for that persons mental, physical, spiritual well-being.
Someone wrote that they trusted their Dom w their life and that was deeper than the collar.

The very nature of giving someone a collar DID was (and still is as far as I am concerned) symbolic of a Authority Transfer relationship.

When I read about someone getting a collar, the first time they meet their Dom, or a month into their -ship, I find it difficult to take that seriously.

I still give respect to theze people , something that im seeing less and kess of when its the other way around.

There is much to be learned from people with years of experience under their belt.

You just have to be open, not offended..