Subs: How do you feel...

Subs: How do you feel...

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Nov 8, 2023

I thought I would make a companion thread to one already list on the forum.

Putting it on the other side of the collar, as it were.

Subs:

How do you feel when you go to look at a Dom/me's profile and you see a photo of them with a sub?

I'm not talking meme or something lifted off the internets, but a photo that is of them but taken with someone else in a very submissive role.

Discuss:

slaveboyhh​(sub male) • Nov 8, 2023

It makes me jealous of the subs because I have no one to console me

lambsone • Nov 8, 2023

The few times I've seen it, their profile usually clarifies that the sub is no longer with them, thus I don't have to worry about the competition.

The other thing is that it helps me know what I might expect if I was theirs because I see them interacting with a sub.

What really discourages me are the amount of Dominant men who have these sweet young things with no blemishes, perfect posture, perky everything, beautiful, etc. In their profiles whether a former sub or off the internet. I'll never measure up to that, and it gives me the impression that that's the type of sub they want and won't accept anything else.

Steellover​(sub male) • Nov 9, 2023

It doesn't really bother me either way. I don't really pay too close attention to stuff like that.

MCCheer​(sub female) • Nov 9, 2023

I have never thought about it. I guess that means it doesn't bother me though I may ask questions because of it but usually not until the future. Most of the people I talk to are just that, I am talking to them. If it was someone that I was considering as a potential Dominant, I might ask questions about the picture. Is it something I could never do so will it be a deal breaker? Is it something I would like to try? And then potential questions about that dynamic to learn more about them as a person and as a Dominant.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Nov 9, 2023

The saying: "a picture speaks a thousand words," comes to mind. But i think, yes and no. Pictures can tell us something about the other person, but they can also tell us a great deal about our self from the response/s they evoke. And not necessarily 'true' response, our imagination can give false voice and meaning.
i see so many profiles where the person seems to depend (consciously or unconsciously) on pictures to attract someone. That makes me kinda crazy because i'm aware of my own imagination, and i don't want to presume. So, when i see pictures with someone, i look for some written explanation in their profile telling me who that person is and what place they hold.

A person talking about, or having pictures of a former significant other, is not off-putting to me. i actually want to know any and all a potential relationship will share about their self. To me, openness is foundational to intimate relationship. What is off-putting to me is if the person is trying to make me into something i am not.
One thing i have no interest in at all is being a part of a "stable," so if the intent of the picture is to convey that, i'm not interested.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Nov 9, 2023

Any feelings invoked for me would come from context. What the profile says. How that person feels to me. And what our interaction tells me. I come back to the point I made on the other thread: we all have pasts.

I wouldn't find it off putting. I don't relate to some of the comments I've seen on the cage about seeing other people as competition. We are all unique in ourselves and build unique relationships.

I always appreciate real pictures, rather than stock ones or cartoon ds ones.

yulka​(sub female) • Nov 10, 2023

Is the sub satisfied and happy? Can I share in the joy?

meowineedhelp​(sadist trans man) • Nov 11, 2023

you really want to know?

i feel like they dont deserve to have a pp.

this is a ancient practice in china btw.

SassyinCali​(sub female) • Nov 12, 2023

My first thought is if that sub consented to the pic being shared publicly. If there is no note in the profile mentioning consent, it would put me off that specific profile. If there is a note indicating that person consented to the sharing of the pic, I would study them closely ss I have a strong voyeuristic side.

I do not generally initiate contact. If the Dom had reached out to me, I would inquire as to if those in the pics had consented. Depending on the answer would affect how I would proceed. Trust is vital in any relationship, especially a D/s one.