Do Dom/mes get to have Praise fetish?

HELL yes!! Where IS the bunny?!?! (like I know with My 5ish hours on this site who the hell bunny is)

I brought this post to my Master's attention this evening mainly from curiosity to know if he had any emotional responses when I thank him. I thank him for spending time with me, for tasks he gives me when he gives them and I thank him for giving me the tasks after I have done them. If he praises me, I thank him. I do it out of respect and also to let him know that I've heard him.

He did not say that he had any emotional responses, but that he considers it common courtesy. We were both raised that way. He does this with his customers in his business. Calls them Sir or Mam, etc. I don't know if he will elaborate about this himself or not. He likes to read posts, but would rather not participate in them.

I, on the other hand, do react emotionally when he tells me that I please him, or that I'm beautiful, or calls me an endearing name. And it makes me want to please him more. And I do hope that my calling him Sir or Master, will make him happy. If I don't add these titles in my text responses to him though, he points it out. So I know he's expecting it. I even got a writing assignment once when I didn't. "I will always answer with Sir." 100x LOL! That assignment at least let me know that it was important to him.

Well that's my 2 cents.

I thank Daddy for all kinds of things, from giving me orders to taking my advice on taking care of himself (since I can’t be there).

I also make it a point once a month or so to tell him all the ways I’m grateful for him, and all the things about him that I love and admire. I do this so he always knows how loved, valued, and respected he is. I also do this because every one needs to hear the good things about themselves that they often forget about.

I think it’s more about the *rules of engagement* in one’s particular relationship. There was a couple in the group I was a part of that sounds very similar to relationship described by Drinfear. (Welcome to our corner of the Lifestyle, btw. Hope you enjoy your journey here!) There are definitely Dominants that don’t care to hear the softness or sweetness, it changes the experience for them in some meaningful way.

I don’t claim to understand it as I’m not wired that way in either Domme or sub mode, but having seen that couples’ bond to one another, either would have walked through fire for the other, I would wager it can be as strong a dynamic style as any other. I think like many of the other parts of that which we do, it’s more a matter of two (or more in poly situations) of people whose styles of communication/ love languages coordinate.

This breaks my heart. I’m not entirely sure why, but it does.

I thank my Sir often for so many things. I thank him for his patience. I thank him for his guidance. I thank him for the way he treats me and the way he makes me feel. I can’t imagine not telling him how happy and grateful I am for him. My heart hurts just thinking about him not knowing how thankful I am.

My heart hurts thinking about you not being told thank you for the role you played in your past subs’ lives.

To answer TD’s original question, I think it is absolutely ok (and warranted) for a Dom/me to have a praise kink. There is no shame in feeling warmth and pleasure when you’re told “thank you.” There is no weakness in craving that, or any type of validation that you are doing your job as a Dom.

Because my greatest pleasure is knowing I give my Dom such pleasure. Knowing that He feels loved and appreciated by me - that he knows it and feels it and wants more of it - makes me want to continuing serving and pleasing and thanking him for taking care of me.

If my gratitude wasn’t desired, if my thankfulness wasn’t appreciated, I wouldn’t be able to give him my all. I would feel used and unappreciated in return.

I guess my point is that a Dom craving a “thank you” like a sub craving a “good girl” does not make them any less Domly or in control. For me, it heightens the control they have over me.

Everyone deserves to feel appreciated and everyone should want nothing less than having that. Just like I would tell a sub: “if your Dom does not appreciate the service, submission, and pleasure you give Him, you deserve better”, I will also tell a Dom: “if your sub does not appreciate the guidance, structure, and pleasure you give her, you deserve better”

Drinfear,

What debate? I say thank you, please you are welcome, may I , sometimes can I, depends on the situation, along with other manners, since I can remember.
So what, a Dom would tell me to stop! That would be ridiculous, below ridiculous.

And of course a Dom can get excited, feel warm, fuzzy.

After sex at times I will get "Wow, that was a good one". Or "I like what you did there at the end, please do that again!"
While I appreciate the information, I am not lookin for a thank you..
I get my rush out of her obedience and her efforts
at wringing out every orgasm possible in the time available. I consider Her orgasms and her efforts to obtain them, thanks enough.

When I self analyse it, i am probably seeking it out as an ego boost and a presonal indicator of my sexual prowess, but it is not something I do consciously.
Thanks for reading ...G
All public and private non sexual activities are expected to be polite and kind at all times.. G

@aPeepingMom

What a beautifully, well written answer. It touched on many of the things that were in my head when I read the forum post/question.

Praise can/is a kink. Appreciation, love, voicing thanks both ways are not kinks. They are things people feel and express in many ways.

Hmmmmm if anything in general I thank people a lot. Maybe too much. It’s how I was raised. To make sure people know I appreciate them. But that’s a different discussion.
I agree with others that have said that it’s not so much a kink as a sense of acknowledging you and someone appreciating you. Like your boss who makes sure to tell you when you do a good job. You should be doing a good job anyway, as long as you have a good work ethic etc, but doesn’t it sure feel good when that’s seen and acknowledged ?
It makes me kinda sad that you’ve had so little experience with it.