Question for submissives relating protective tendencies and being in a dynamic

Question for submissives relating protective tendencies and

NCarraway​(dom male) • Jun 12, 2024

Following on from a recent discussion.

https://thecage.co/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=5860&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc


And here is a flipside question for subs...

Do you find that your tendency to protectiveness has changed because of your submission? I'm thinking that possibly being submissive to a partner might have you defer to their judgement about whether to get involved or perhaps go with an assumption that the protectiveness might be their thing. Or do you think it hasn't changed because of submission?

shebakesalot​(sub female) • Jun 12, 2024

I'm naturally protective of those I care about, even more so if partnered (but not in a possessive/jealous kind of way). For me, a dynamic goes both ways. My Dom would be protective of me, and I them. Symbiotic. HOWEVER, it would also depend on context. If in protocol or at a kink-specific event (or however it's dictated by my Dom), then yes, I'd defer to their judgment.

TL;DR I'm naturally protective so not directly tied to my submission.

ReanaP​(sub female){Spoken for} • Jun 12, 2024

I think it depends on what way you mean protective?

I think both the dominant and the submissive protect each other in different ways, and both should rightfully offer protection, be it emotional, physical, mental, or environmental

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Jun 12, 2024

No. I'm protective as a woman, mother, partner, friend, animal owner.

I cannot think of an example where a (dominant) partner has overridden that protectivenes or that it has has been negated as I deferred to them. More that they've taken action instead of me. Certainly instances where I've been challenged on my beliefs and reasons for any number of things, and perhaps had to question the need for protectiveness kicking in. But I don't believe that my instinct to protect 'mine' has been impacted due to my submission. Just that, when a dominant is in my life, their opinion on my thoughts/reactions/actions matters, and I will listen to that valued opinion /input.

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Jun 12, 2024

When I was a sub many years ago, I was very protective of my Mistress. I would say that I was aggressively protective, but that was an integral part of our dynamic. I don't know that I could say it is the typical experience.
As a Dom, my experience has been pretty evenly split and seems to depend more on the personality of the sub than the influence I had on them or the way they perceived their role as my submissive. I have had two subs who I would easily qualify as the more protective in the dynamic, quick to jump to my defense (occasionally in a less than helpful way), but I viewed their passion as beneficial overall.
There is an undeniable baseline that many adhere to when it comes to defining our connections with others. I would say it is apparent that most s types will start out in the less protective role, D types in the more, but over time, like every other aspect of the relationship, this will evolve to suit needs and match personalities.

I'mME • Jun 13, 2024

Trying to stand up for someone there days is exactly what the phrase fits the following phrase perfectly.
''No good deed goes unpunished!''

Protectiveness is the base for what is behind someone standing up for someone else.
Why they feel protective, could be a number of reasons.
If I am looking/listening to a load of blarney, gaslighting , fallacy words I'm going to speak my piece/peace.
If it's another type of situation that could be sticky, family, friends, friends that are a couple, I would discuss it with someone else that I felt had good judgement and also knew me well. That's important because they would know my intent. If I had a Dom, they would be the perfect person to do that.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){Owned} • Jun 13, 2024

I don’t feel that my level of protectiveness has changed due to my submission but a big part of my professional life is advocating on behalf of vulnerable people. I either help others find their voice through therapy or I am actively advocating for diverse and vulnerable populations on a large scale. I do stand back and defer to Daddy regarding family matters but he has never been “my way or no way”, so we mutually come up with a solution or plan. I guess it is more like he executes said plan and I support it but in the beginning we made the decision together.

Bunnie • Jun 14, 2024

Internally, submission has taught me to learn to accept *receiving* protection, rather than feeling I have to “go it alone.”
As many others have said, externally, I am very protective of those I care about, which was already a fundamental element of who I am.

LoveandDevotion​(sub female) • Jun 14, 2024

This.
And I'd say in my current relationship I feel very trusting of his protectiveness. Some other Doms made me feel protective of myself because I sensed something that didn't align in us, so I needed to protect my vulnerable little subby heart from him a little. With my current Master I feel totally and utterly and happily surrendered.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Jun 14, 2024

Like others have stated I’m protective over those I love including my Dom. That hasn’t changed. The only thing that is different is having someone to back me up or support me if I need it. Not to say there haven’t been times that he has told me to let something be.