A Harem

A Harem

imFrfr​(dom male){Fr} • Mar 12, 2019

I want a Harem, like that’s my goal. It’s hard though. Finding unique personality’s. I’ve been trying for like 2 3 years. Any advice, or inquiries into my mind, ask.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Mar 12, 2019

Possible- yes.

However, your profile pic is not what one would call inviting.

Dominus Blakesley​(dom male){Amaris Anc} • Mar 13, 2019

You want a harem? A few things then.

1. Before anything else, could you honestly say that you would be able to commit yourself to just *one* person and have a successful relationship with them? If not, a harem would be far out of reach for you.
2. If you can do (1.), then would you be able to commit yourself with *several* people at once?
3. With your partners, do you (a.) have the resources to dedicate to them, as in birthdays, anniversary gifts, valentine's day, hell, even groceries? Imagine, having a harem of what, six, seven people, the amount of food that would have to come around or the amount of expenses in general. If you plan for all of your partners to live with you, are you prepared to invest in a large home and all expenses that come with *that*?
4. Are you responsible? I would certainly hope so, as you would be responsible to love, care for, provide for, sacrifice, protect, and generally support each and every one of your partners who, individually, can fall within a range of being independent or needy (in terms of both emotional attachment and living)--as they all would, you.
5. Would you be prepared for potential arguments that would erupt between your partners? There is bound to be jealousy, doubt, or a perceived favoritism among your harem members, so would you be able to put that down and would you be able to love them all equally and fairly?

There are loads more to be considered when starting a polyamorous relationship. At your age (assuming you are being truthful and are indeed 20 years old), it would be fairly difficult to achieve most of the mentioned advice above. I would say hold off on it, though it is not impossible. I am concerned, however. You say you have been seeking to have one for three years or so. At 17, I doubt most anyone have the maturity to fully know the ramifications and all with having a harem, let alone consequences if they do not know what they are doing. Even at 20, you are just barely a couple years into being an adult. Can you execute the necessary adult functions and societal requirements in life to begin with? Have you thought of the amount of time you would have to invest in a harem alongside work, schooling, home life?

Again, it is not *impossible*, but at this time, I imagine it will be a very difficult and trying road for you if you still wish to pursue having a harem. Maybe look into a single partner first, see how the relationship goes, and expand from there--you may even find yourself enjoying a monogamous lifestyle. Either way, good luck, and also, I would suggest putting up a more... mature profile picture. If you want to be mature enough to handle a harem, then act and express it. Sure, some people out there enioy the "bad boy" vibe, but there is a fine line between "Ooh, he seems like a bad boy." and "Okay, skimming over every-fratboy-wanker-in-online-dating-site #572...."

Shaynna​(dom female){SxH} • Mar 13, 2019

I doubt most men will think about all that when they wish to have a harem.... I think many just see it as having several women always available to fuck. Ofc, not all, there are always exceptions

Belladonna Dreams​(sub female){Phage'Hada} • Mar 13, 2019

Honestly, your profile information doesn't indicate anything other then abuse and undependable. You're going to struggle to find one submissive let alone many.

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Mar 13, 2019

Post boy for what to avoid in the lifestyle

Anais • Mar 16, 2019

Fall at the Lotus Feet of the Masters of compassionate love and observe their words with humility and Respect.
Many life lessons await your eager wagging puppy dog tail.
Meaning NO offense or insult,
Look first to true love with one devoted woman, and express to her your desires.
Allow Her to choose her own sister wife(ves) cuz life in balance and equality is the only music worth listening.
Beware of the misandrist energy which will seek to destroy your nature,
also know that loving Godesses fit for a God do exist if you are prepared to evolve into a mighty man.

MasterRenton​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2019

The only few pieces of advice I can give you are:

1. Know that you can handle it - I have been there up to 5 at one point. The amount of stress and responsibility triples with each add. What seems like a 12 year olds wetdream is in reality a very difficult and taxing lifestyle.

2. Don’t look, if you present yourself as looking you are showing that either you are desperate or fake looking for sex. Just be yourself and honest when asked about yourself. Women appreciate it when you show confidence and calm. I have never gone out of my way to find a submissive.

3. Make sure that every submissive is on the same page. If you are lucky enough to find two submissive women who want cohabitation with you, make sure to get them introduced almost immediately. Foster their relationship with one another and reinforce their emotional states. A lot of self doubt that you will be responsible for erasing.

Hope that this short list is useful for you and all the best luck

Cithaeria • Apr 8, 2019

“I’m brown” is the best thing you have on your profile page.

My advice about having a harem....start with you.

NoOneofConsequence​(dom male){Taken} • Apr 8, 2019

While I would debate MasterRenton's numbers when he said each one triples the stress as I think it's more n^(n-1), I would just add my nickel to his third point about getting everyone on the same page. There is a world of difference between cheating and non-monogamy, and another world of difference between non-monogamy and true polygamy. It's just my opinion based on my own experiences, but a hareem runs much smoother if each sub loves and supports each other as friends if not lovers than if they are in competition. Competition, dislike, and discord has a tendency to triple the (n-1) part of the aforementioned equation. The negativity will eventually break your relationships with each of them, if not break you along with them.

And as DominusBlakelesly advised... well, to quote Michael, "start with the man in the mirror."