Self Experimentation

Self Experimentation

Aralyn​(sub female){Not lookin} • Mar 21, 2021

I am relatively new to the lifestyle and I am exploring kinks so I can get a better feel for my likes and dislikes.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice on kinks that a person can safely attempt upon themselves and advice on how to safely practice self experiment, please? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

House Talion​(dom male) • Mar 21, 2021

For implementation using tools I tell everyone the same thing. Go to the kitchen and check the drawers, grab stuff and smack it against your arm. Gives you an idea of how it feels to be stuck with something of the sort. Spachela is like a paddle, whisk is like light caneing,wound up dish rag is like a whip, old styled mop is like a flogger.

If you dont like being struck you may like doing the striking.

You can also try basic shubari single columns, gets the feel of rope tight against the skin.

You can try the 'Black Box', but watch out for stairs. For that you wear a blindfold, ear plugs, and ear muffs. The complete silence of both audio and visual gets insane.

Aralyn​(sub female){Not lookin} • Mar 21, 2021

I greatly appreciate your advice. Thank you. I am off to the kitchen!

MisterWolf​(dom male) • Mar 21, 2021

There is so much you can do at home on your own:

- ice on your nipped and clit
- toothpaste or tiger balm or peppermint oil on your nipple, clit or anus
- body writing on yourself - either positive or degrading words - depending on your mind set
- pee control on yourself....holding it in as long as possible, wetting yourself fully clothed, etc
- using rubber bands to snap yourself
- rope play like House Talion says - loads of stuff on YouTube
- edge yourself an agreed number of times.....and not cum to experience orgasm denial
- impact play again like House Talion says.....use your imagination (soft, hard, scratchy, locations, etc)
- knife play (careful with this one)
- pet play


The list is long.

The key is to understand what is submission for you. I suggest you research this along with your self experimentation.

Note: research aftercare and safety BEFORE doing your self exploration.

Good luck and enjoy the journey!!!

Aralyn​(sub female){Not lookin} • Mar 24, 2021

Your suggestions are greatly appreciated, thank you! I will do a great deal of research and then cautiously experiment.

Kelpi • Mar 24, 2021

I like to see clamps used those used in an office the small black ones or the larger one they hurt but they are easy to use and you never have to blush when someone finds them.

CallMeOz​(dom male) • Mar 24, 2021

Try sitting bare-arsed on an upside-down milk crate for as long as you can bear it..keep your feet together flat on the floor and your back straight.

Knightsundere​(sub male) • Mar 24, 2021

Most of my early self experience was using long sleeve shirts to tie myself up. Arguably more convenient than rope, because one shirt is one knot (sashing ankles together, thighs, tightening around the abdomen, blindfold, thigh to chest, etc.), which means you can pretty quickly relieve tension on a painful area without undoing the whole design. Though of course you'll have to bring out the whole wardrobe for an effective session..

You can make an escapable but effective armbinder with some yoga pants/stretchy pants. Your head goes through one leg, all the way through till it's under your chin, then twist the pants so the other leg is at your back, and your arms slip in. Before you put the arms in, worming the belt loop area down over your shoulders makes it more secure/pleasurable. I'm not very flexible so I'd be super surprised if there were any concerns for you, but if you have serious doubts, don't use something you wouldn't mind ripping or tearing, lol. (note: I used some pretty loose pyjama bottoms for this - be more careful if you use like, workout clothing, that's designed to match the form underneath)

I'm unsure how well this would work for women, but I used to put very soft socks on my hands when I was tied up to make it more difficult to masturbate, with the only barrier to how difficult being how many layers of socks you can put on your hands (I couldn't grab anything past three).

yourbootsownme​(sub male) • Mar 24, 2021

There are fairly simple 4-limb restraint systems that you slip under the mattress which use velcro to restrain the wrists and ankles. Those work well for self-induced bondage as you can easily reach around and pull the velcro open on your wrists (and then reach down and undo ankles).

Nipple clamps, ice, melted wax (not too hot) are all simple for self-application. And of course there are plenty of toys you can buy designed for one-person use.

I'd also suggest reading lots of kink-based short stories and erotica, much of which can be found online for free. While in general they may be poorly written and in no way based in reality (so you shouldn't build your expectations on them), they will allow you to see which aspects of the stories appeal to you in fantasy form. And then you can investigate how to put those ideas into some kind of real-life experimentation.

Most of the things you can experiment with solo are bondage or impact-based. If you are attracted more to other areas of submission (such as service, tease and denial, humiliation, degradation, mind games, etc.) it's harder to experiment by yourself. But written material and videos will at least help you play with the ideas in your head.

LeashCalledLove​(sub male){__________} • Mar 24, 2021

Something as simple as abstaining from masturbation/orgasm and/or Pavlov conditioning yourself to erotically respond to certain stimuli/words.