Permission

Aden Figg​(dom male){BDE} • May 5, 2019

There's no inherent difference between something kept secret and something kept private. I don't like it when MasterDom77 is over here tryna talk to my bitch in secret, especially when he's not that slick. What I'm saying is that certain people don't have the privilege of privacy when it comes to some types of conversation.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • May 6, 2019

There is a VERY big difference between a sub and true slave*. The internet has some what watered down the truer definitions that are older than dirt (leather and OG) and predate the internet or online. The last decade or so, I have seen these rules water down too and become more flexible (likeMasterBearhassaid prior). It used to be you NEVER spoke to someones 'slave' unless you asked permission (all the time).. A slave was never considered to have rights or a voice. Their owner always spoke for them. A sub however you could talk to, unless conditions where in place or play was in progress. However at events if they where leashed you always made requests. Remember I'm talking about pre internet before I'm attacked with pitchforks!

*Myself, my partners are subs. I have no restrictions on what or who they interact with. Myself, I do not care if the terminology of slave is used (in a non traditional manner), more important to me, is both sides of the whip are on the same page of what it means to them.

If a person identifies as a submissive, (dons on leather flameproof undies)in the truuuuwe form and not as a slave...if they aren't free to speak for themselves I'd ask them to question is this for a legitimate reason or MASSIVE RED FLAG!

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • May 6, 2019

And I'm sure those said submissives would find having a BDSM test result on a person's profile pathic.

MasterBrads painpet​(sub female){OWNED} • May 6, 2019

My last Master had me put on my profile "must ask him for permission". My personal opinion was he might of been afraid someone would open my eyes. Shortly after this, my naive sub ways deactivated my profile. Which now I feel and know was wrong. Alienation from others hurt me and kept me from truly growing. This for almost 2 months. Trust is needed and us as subs, even the naive and want to be needed ones need to learn if we are with a Dom to keep it cordial. If your Dom says you can talk to others keep it respectful. If the conversation turns to a sub state bow out gracefully. Just my tboughts

Darrell​(dom male) • May 7, 2019

Ok so maybe In person at a BDSM gathering say, Then I can understand It a little bit,Thats why we have gags lol. But online when there is a perfectly good Block button for any undesirables.

I`m not the type of person who just goes upto random people online and starts a conversation anyways, Ill say hello in a chatroom or write on a blog or forum. So as far as im concerned im just a normal guy unless i have a Sub and then to that person i am their Dom.But even then its just a role we play as seriously as we take it, Hell i had a live in slave for a while but i still treat her with respect. So as far as anyone else is concerned im just another human being, So if someone says even indirectly that i have to ask their permission to speak to another human being then they are putting themselves on a pedestal telling me im not allowed to do something without their permission that`s where i draw the line. So unless said person is in prison and your a prison guard then fair enough because thats a law thing. Speaking to someone`s sub is not against the law.

I do not look at another person and think they are above or below me, i dont care if its the Queen of bloody England, She still puts food in one hole and crap`s it out the other. We are all equals at the end of the day. And if you do believe that your above your Sub and that you are God Almighty then i say to your Sub get the hell out of that relationship.

But hey I am just one person and we all have our own belief`s, I don`t believe in God but i wouldn`t knock someone if they did. So if this is what you wanna do then go for it, But personally i just think its wrong and disrespectful because again its all about trust and if you can`t trust your partner then ya need to take a step back and look at your relationship. Because without trust this lifestyle can lead you down a very dark path.

Regis​(sadist male) • May 7, 2019

I don't think it's weird or anything like that to set permissions around your partner when it comes to this site or hell, at a munch even. It's not about trust I want to say. It's more protection. Even in the vanilla side of relationships, I can trust my partner to talk and hang with whoever the hell she wants without crossing the line or say, betraying me. I also trust her when it comes to this site. What I DON'T trust is the sincerity and intentions of others coming to her. Say she gets a message in the inbox. Who's to say it's not an instadom with a dick pic and superiority complex? Who's to say it's not a player? Things like that are sadly incredibly common here, people are hurt too often by others who think relationships are a game or that it's fine to abuse.

EDIT: Also, it's the INTERNET. Not to sound cynical or anything, but while I'm sure there are a lot of lovelies out there (Bunnie, satindragon, Alawey, Phanes, etc.) that you can trust wholeheartedly and all, the ratio is skewed heavily towards those of ill intent or plain fakers. It's EASY to be fooled on the internet and betrayed trust REALLY hurts when it happens, sometimes more than it would in RL. Not to offend anyone but that's just how it is.
The permissions are like a protective cover. Ultimately, I'd have my partner come to me before further interacting with randoms who approach her. Then I'd vet the person myself. But really if she wants to keep talking to this person, it's all up to her and I won't stop it. Just don't expect any mercy from me if they wrong her, or expect a hard block from the both of us if all you want to do is to send dick pics that weren't asked for.

You're going to have to respect the dynamics of lovers out there mate. If you have to get permission, then oh well, but that's better than to fuck it and end up being untrustworthy by their partners just because you don't feel like asking and boom, you can't talk to the fun personality you've been hanging with anymore. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if your relationship or agreements with your partner were undermined or breached upon, try to think of the "why's" before flashing.

But please don't bash on this. You may have had it different throughout your time in the lifestyle, but not everywhere works the same as the environment you're in. Life is unpredictable and more often dangerous than safe and sound

Azzabackam​(switch male){PawPawGirl} • May 7, 2019

Based on your answers here, you're giving off the vibe of being very, very interested in other peoples' relationships.

"If I wanna talk to someone, and a third person tells me I'm not allowed to talk to them, who're they to tell me what I can or can't do?"

....that first person's partner? Whom the person you're trying to talk to made an agreement with that they'd submit in this specific fashion? None of what they've got going on has anything to do with you. It sounds like you're taking personal offense at other peoples' dynamics. As long as it's not abusive in nature, it's not anyone's business but theirs.

Darrell​(dom male) • May 8, 2019

I have zero interest in other people`s relationship`s, I only noticed it because I was so bored i was profile browsing which Is something as a rule i would never do unless i was speaking to that actual person.

To put it all a different way taking out any personal feeling`s, The cage is a community group for like minded people yes, Emphasis on Community where people can come and talk to each other, To get their feelings out etc. so why hamper that by needing to ask permission.

And then on the other side if it`s for safety, Not wanting the pervs or dick pic`s no amount of "Speak to my Master/Ask for permission" Messages on a profile are going to stop that. Becuase those kind of people don`t read profiles they don`t care they believe that they are the be all and end all and don`t care wether people are in a relationship or not, Which again is where the block button comes into play.

I just don`t see the logic or point of being on a community based site like this and then telling your Sub/Slave that they cant speak to anyone else without your permission. Because it doesn`t matter what kind of relationship you have with each other their has to be some downtime for both Dom and Sub. And being on a site like this is the perfect opportunity for downtime.

I have no need or want to intefere in anyone`s relationship and do not want to offend anyone that was never my intention. Again it was my own personal opinion.

lilunicorn​(sub female) • May 9, 2019

This is only my opinion and what I have chosen to do. I can talk to anyone I want, however if a Dom wishes to chat with me whether it be about dog shit or the weather I don't care. I will always be a Lady and respectfully ask that you chat with my Dom before we further any conversation. I am by no means controlled. I have chosen to do that out of RESPECT for my Dom. Just my opinion and we all have different views on the subject.

BabyGirlFL​(sub female){His} • May 9, 2019

Hmmm... I would find it a turn-on if my dom required permission for someone to speak to me. I find it a turn-on that he won’t share me with anyone and wants to keep all eyes that aren’t his off of me (although I am still adjusting to this!!). It makes me feel protected. I’m very new but it seems there is an element of control to this lifestyle, right? As long as I am agreeing willingly to be controlled in that way, it’s good and healthy. I’m 49 and I’m in charge of my emotional and mental health at this point. So if the dom and sub have both consented to that arrangement, I don’t find it weird at all. Just my newbie two cents.