Ever worried you’ll end up alone?

FearlessBrat​(sub female){H.PL.} • Nov 9, 2020

Not at all....it is waste of time. At the end we all end up alone.
I already found that someone where there was connection and chemistry. The problem was bad communication which usually leads to toxic relationship which I left heart broken....
There is no amount of love that would compale someone to stay in unhealthy relationship.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Nov 9, 2020

I think you're in denial. Worrying is counter productive, yes, but we all worry nonetheless. I've heard the "Don't worry" excuse before. But here's the thing. It's. Still. There. You can DO something about it or "worry needlessly". But worrying is worrying. As taking action is taking action. Hopefully you meant "Not letting worrying stop me". Buuuuuut... It is doing.



You know that's not true. Otherwise there wouldn't be people that die together after living together. The very fact that you say that is proof you worry about being alone. You've condemned yourself to alone being a certainty. If that is the only reality you accept then, frankly, as has been told to so many people that choose or only see that fate (if it's not choice it's a closed mind) then "You deserve to be alone." Harsh I know. And if anyone you care about ever says this to you... reach out to them. You might be surprised. As others have been. By this logic your statement is proven false. YOU might end up alone maybe. "We all"? Hardly. Your mistake was speaking for others.



You're speaking of chemistry. I take this as a indication of losing yourself in your emotions. "Feeling it" isn't enough. You can also "not feel it" yet "make it happen through actions" (and communication). Bad communication happens. But ACTIONS speak louder. Speaking for others is common. As are blank carpet statements. And acting as if you "Know what hasn't yet happened". But you can know your own abilities better. Trusted or not. Focus on the NOT being trusted part. PROVING them wrong. THEY don't want to be a liar. You CAN prove their fears are irrational. If they let you show them. But getting them to do that? That's the trick.

Something very powerful and effective can be simply saying "You don't understand". And if they then ask what they don't understand... You win that debate. Especially if they tossed mocking judgemental laughter at you a moment ago. This is actually healthier then someone going "You seem to be the worst and goodbye". Because here they can admit they might be wrong. The doubts don't "linger" over your head even if they're not around you. They stop seeing you as something you're not. Stop deluding themselves and falling into denial and assumptions. If they have to ask after being that close minded then they're already realising it. "Opening their mind" is the biggest victory of all. "Accepting the truth" is the start of dealing with the toxic events. It's very effective. And it takes some real determination not to sink to their level and yell back at times. But that's like worrying. "Take positive action" instead. Put that behind everything you do. Better toxic sludge that knows and understands you then a shiny plate that sees you as something you're not. But in order to BE understood you have to admit you are NOT. You have to admit you don't understand them. You have to admit you don't understand yourself as much as you pretend too. And the simple phrase of going "You don't understand" works wonders. It nails the point home.



I'm going to say it here actually. "You don't understand." I actually take offence to this close minded statement. "Someone". As if it's someone other then YOU. When YOU believe this. Again you are speaking for others. It demeans everyone that's suffered through hard times. If so many others have been proven false in their claims what makes you think you're an exception? I've heard all the "It will never happen" excuses before. It's close minded. It's unhealthy. It's toxic. Stop it. When the relationship is unhealthy it can go like this. "Let's do something about it. Let's focus on positives. Let's not worry. Get told you're doomed and it's not going to work. After however much negativity from them (and yourself if you're not careful) make things work out anyway provided you stick around when they finally LET you" Note the last part. PROVIDED you stick around. It could take half a year. It could take a few. It could take a week or a day. It could have been the next day the moment when you left if you had simply stayed. And that's the worst part. The not knowing. Even when you tell yourself "It was doomed". But we know that's not true. We know people work things out in hard times like that. And we know it can be us. But it only happens through never giving up. Through presence. Not for love. But for truth. Honesty. Answers. Did you go into a relationship blinded with "love" or did you focus on "answers"? Considering you said the communication was bad I'm guessing it's the former. Not the later. You may think it's "too late", but it's not. Not if you keep talking to them. Do with that information what you will.

BelleSighlentGag​(sub femme) • Nov 10, 2020

well, I for one certainly wouldn't mind finding that kink relationship but Im not scared to be alone, How ever the river of life flows, I will follow. One day I may leave the world of man and walk the path of a lone wandered, but should that happen or not I will follow the river of life

FearlessBrat​(sub female){H.PL.} • Nov 10, 2020

@Taramafor

"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the ILLUSION for the moment that we're not alone"- Orson Wells.


DON'T YOU EVER TELL SOMEONE, ESPECIALLY A PERSON WHO HAS 20 YEARS OF LIVING WITH A NARC; THAT THEY DIDN'T STICK LONG ENOUGH TO FIND OUT ......YOU ARE VICTIMIZING THEM ALL OVER AGAIN....

"Once you know a Narc, you always know a Narc."

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Nov 10, 2020

@Taramafor

(Quote: And what makes you so sure about that?)

"Did you uh... count how many dom males and usb females have been responding before making that post?"

"I flipped through the pages and saw "Dom male. Sub female" on average."

(No I uh, have a life. My world doesn't begin and end with discussion boards. Why does yours? All I see from you are negative and combative responses. It's, frankly, boring. So I'm not responding to you any further. You seem to be working harder to stay ignorant than you would have to work to grow a little.)

Positive manifestation leads to success

Twistedt • Apr 18, 2021

I think this is an outstanding way to approach life. Your perspective exudes great wisdom.
I too find it very lonely not to have an outlet for honest self expression.
I will try to exercise your wise counsel and atempt to manifest the desires of my heart . I will trust that success will follow.
Thanks for chiming in.

Mister K Ren​(dom male) • Apr 18, 2021

I do worry about ending up alone. All the time.

RedKat{Not now } • Apr 18, 2021

I don’t worry about it, I simply have accepted it.

acquiesced​(sub male) • Apr 18, 2021

Better to look back at what you've experienced in life, than to base happiness on where you are at the end.

Miki​(masochist female) • Apr 18, 2021

One of the rare birds around here. Though I enjoy a good rough session in the bedroom, that's where it begins and ends.

I actually relish being alone and independent. I have zero fear of "ending up" alone because I am never lonely when I am alone.

Conversely, as the cliche goes and I found to be true--- for me anyway, it is far easier to feel loneliness in a crowded room.