How to punish a masochist?

How to punish a masochist?

SnappyJ​(sub female)​{Collared} • Dec 5, 2018

Can anyone suggest any creative ways to punish a masochist? Namely, me? I'm daytime mom and professional and only after the kids are in bed does sub come out to play, so it can't be noisy, intrude on my daytime activities, and well, has got to be something other than pain for this pain-seeking sub.

TIA!

EnforcedBliss​(dom male) • Dec 5, 2018

Ice water bath

CrimsonPaw • Dec 5, 2018

Pain isn't a punishment for me either. Some of my worst punishments have been the silent treatment from my Dom, having to write an essay about what I did wrong and what I'll do to ensure it won't happen again, orgasm denial, having to listen to the same song for an hour straight, and I've had special contact with my Dom taken away. They all sucked.

**Quickly adds ice water bath to list of hard limits** lol

MasterBear​(other butch) • Dec 6, 2018

If you are talking real punishment.

Remove all attention.

If you are talking about fun punishment.


Tie you to a chair and feed you pudding.

Onlinedomguy​(dom male) • Dec 6, 2018

Its hard to give you a list not knowing much about you. For me, punishments are designed based on the subbie I am playing with. I had a sub once who loved pain, wanted to be spanked all over and with all kinds of things. Loved marks to be left. When I first starting playing she would misbehave often and I soon realized it was because she loved spankings and that is how she had been punished before. So obviously pain was not going to get me the results I expected. I would have to know more about you and what makes you tick. I think cold showers might work. I would add a few things to the shower just to see how you react.

I think there are others. I would be happy to give you some ideas if you message me, but since I have a sub here, I do not want her to be able to see what I might have in mind....

Dominus Blakesley​(dom male)​{Amaris Anc} • Dec 6, 2018

To punish a masochist is tricky, but there's three sure-fire ways that you can try that would at least get results.

One: Continue play and whatnot as usual, but make it a point to have your sessions *lack play entirely*. Your masochist will notice and will likely try to express their want/need for pain, maybe even attempt to bargain with you, but at this point, you can "yo-yo" them back and forth until you think they have learned their lesson. Otherwise, leave them high and dry.

Two: Tease. Make it seem like you will give them their pain as usual... then deny it entirely while keeping an oblivious facade. For example, my partner happens to be masochistic as well, and she tends to react well to bites--including painful ones. But, if I were to deny her this pleasure/pain as a tease, I would simply go in, perhaps scrape my teeth along her neck and applying little pressure to get her ready... then withdraw and leave it at that, or end the session and leaving her wanting. It usually works, in my experience, teasing goes a long way.

Three: Like mentioned in one of the replies to your post, you can deny your masochist attention entirely and before long, they should buckle under the punishment. *However*, I know some masochists would actually take well to being denied attention and would anticipate their partner's return--essentially for all the pain they would be inflicted with after the period of denied attention. A "Oh, [INSERT PARTNER'S NAME] is not giving me attention, I must have been *really* bad!.. Still not giving me attention? Oh, I cannot wait for the beating!" sort of way.

I can probably list other ways aside from these three, but they are the most prevalent ones that made their way to mind. Good luck, discipline well.

curiouskittyy​(sub female)​{GentlemanX} • Dec 6, 2018

I guess punishments are meant to be things that you don’t like. So these could be things such as confinement, orgasm or even pain/pleasure denial, not going to an event/party with friends or something that is a soft (not hard) limit for them.

Miki​(masochist female) • Dec 7, 2018

By definition anyway a masochist is someone who enjoys pain and humiliation and whatnot so for us, me anyway, "punishment" is a play word. It is something to be enjoyed. The punishment noted above, its "normal" definition -- depriving a masochist of what they enjoy-- would be self defeating in my book. Now then some doms and or sadists like to punish under that "normal" sense. I would see no point whatsoever in that dynamic and would be gone faster than a fart on a windy day.

So.. while "punishment" in a BDSM sense doesn't have to mean always pain and the noise that goes with it, "punishment" in the dictionary sense is useless IMHO. I might as well join the nuns.

Then again in my case I do not do relationships. It's about the experience. Different strokes from many folks while in a "relationship" dynamic a dom may wish to express his or her dominance by making a sub miserable when (s)he misbehaves. Such is the game.

I guess in short I can't really answer the question without knowing more about what besides pain satisfies your masochistic needs. If you like to be ignored or deprived of that which gives you pleasure, that's a start. Needless to say, your living situation does substantially curtail your playtime adventures.

AKittenforSir​(sub female)​{JohnBond} • Mar 11, 2019

Sir and I have been talking about this a lot lately. I’m not bratty by nature but all subs misbehave or fall short of expectations at some point and therefore punishments are necessary at times. I too am a masochist and pain isn’t really a proper punishment for me. I’m not the type to take advantage and misbehave just to be punished (if I want pain, I could just ask; Sir is pretty generous) but I want to walk away from a punishment feeling like I got what I deserved and for Sir to feel content knowing that I found the punishment displeasing and feel properly chastised.

As several others have pointed out already, attention denial is the first thing that comes to mind. This for me would be EXCRUCIATING. This is the type of punishment I’d receive if I did something really really bad. Its kind of a trigger for me and I would regress in my ability to be open and trust and it would take a lot of “aftercare” for Sir to bring me back out of my shell after that.

But what about small things? Like being a little sassy. Cold showers was also something we discussed. I hate cold water. I’m curious if anyone has discovered any new ideas since this topic was last discussed?

Onlinedomguy​(dom male) • Mar 11, 2019

I am curious about the responses where limiting contact in some manner is used. I read some subbies find it really effective but I have always felt like limiting or removing contact is really not appropriate. Maybe it's just my preference but I am wondering if i am missing something. I prefer limiting things she enjoys or making her do things I know she does not like at all.