Ever worried you’ll end up alone?

LordofPain56 • Sep 23, 2020

Once I had turned 40, I had begun to worry that I waited to long to actively begin seeking out any prospects. Prior to that, I would actually run away from any girl who seemed to show an attraction (although, that didn't happen too often). My life back then was focused solely upon work and building up my career, and providing for things I believed would be necessary in order to offer a prospect something other than myself (house, cars, extra money in the bank, creature comforts), so my mind wasn't focused on girls prior to age 40.
But when I turned 40, I recall that I was nearly in a panic about the possibility of becoming a life-long bachelor. That was never the plan. Somewhere around age 43, I did meet someone and we got married a few years later. She was age 37 at the time and was desperate to have her first baby, but no sooner than we got married we found out she had an illness that precluded her from attempting to get pregnant. Actually, she could, but the baby would have been infected, so I abstained. It drove her nuts and she left after 15 months.
Been alone since then, I am now age 64 and pretty sure that ship has sailed a long time ago. Haven't been worried about it since then. It seems I have resigned to my inevitable fate. But I am happy with what I have done with my life.

Miss Anima​(dom female) • Sep 23, 2020

More like your ex can keep you from inspiring submissive

LaVieEnRose​(sub female){Learning } • Sep 23, 2020

After thinking on it, I think I should point out that I’m not lonely; I have friends, family, colleagues, my puppers. I have always been a fairly solitary creature who has been content in her own company but that doesn’t mean I don’t want a relationship, someone to grown old with and just fulfill a part of myself. I could easily find casual connections or hell im sure if I was more amenable could’ve submitted a while ago but I’m not going to just give in for “fear” of being alone because compromising isn’t the way to go either.

Defender​(dom male) • Sep 23, 2020

Loneliness is a state of mind.

Work hard on your state of mind.


While you are doing that, someone may come along......

Redfoxmask​(dom male) • Sep 23, 2020

I like another here let life get away from me and probably too little too late.

I am 47, worked to have something to offer a woman bseides me. I wanted a house, a car extra money in bank and creature comforts of life. unfortunately for me think that time passed. I am and have been juggling, life, career and elderly family caring for their needs and helping them. I wanted to meet that special lady have a child, a boy to carry on my name, but probably too late for that now, not saying it cant happen it definantly could, but the possibility is still there it wont. its no wonder I do not get a glance from women or maybe just never noticed if they did because of being busy stuck in my own head for far too long.

I guess that and being picky because of the kink and lifestyle I want, vanilla was not enough. need more I want more I want a submissive to work with, to train, to be happy with and did for a time but did not last long, and now back in the search to find the one that fits my life not the perfect one but the one that fits me. anyway enough babbling no one wants my life story so with that,I will hold out on hope and see.

DrKrall • Nov 1, 2020

I have never really been alone. But when I got out of my 16 years long marriage things didn't look very bright. I felt old. I felt used up and the world had changed a lot while I was living in my bubble. People didn't meet the way they used to do and there was this new thing called internet dating. It took me a while to figure it out, but then I was back in business. 8 years later I found myself alone again. Things felt weird. I don't know what has changed, but I suppose the COVID situation doesn't help, and there's this new thing called ghosting. The amount of scammers have increased like 500% and of the rest most are looking for pay to play, or online relationships.

When I hadn't been able to find anything other than a couple of ONSs in a whole year I was beginning to worry. The problem is if you worry to much you look desperate. Desperate is not very sexy, so the more one worry about this the less chances. At least that is my experience.

Things might change at any time, and for me it did, so I don't worry about it anymore. Instead I worry about not finding that second slave I want to add to my house.

Don't worry, be happy!

Re: Ever worried you’ll end up alone?

Miki • Nov 1, 2020

Those who choose to date someone "outside the lifestyle" need to be flexible and willing to accept that a "vanilla" person won't do more than maybe slap you in the ass when you take it from behind. But through it all, we often want or need a fulfilling relationship with someone who cares, is attentive and most of all considerate of the partner's feelings. That can occur in the kink world or outside of it and at the end of the day, which is more valuable? a good partner or twisted sexuality.

I am not the relationship type. I am already alone except for "play time"-- which is substantially reduced thanks to the "Kung Flu" as certain politicians once called it. I enjoy independence and solitude most of the time.

Being alone does not mean one is necessarily lonely. Conversely, as the old cliche goes, "One can be lonely in a crowded room."

My 3 cents

Aquarius Dom​(dom male) • Nov 1, 2020

I’m a 66 year old Dom married to a ‘nilla, I’ve been asked many times why I’ve never left her !

It’s simple, even after all these years I’ve never found the “one”

So yes fear of being alone keeps me in this relationship!

larkspur​(sub female) • Nov 1, 2020

I used to think like this. I also used to think it was possible to set a part of myself aside in the name of 'growing up' and achieving traditional life goals.

Now my confidence in what I am and unwillingness to set that aside is it's own peace. I would love to find the right dom for a long-term partnership, but knowing what it's like to try to live vanilla has erased any fear I had of being alone. I will embrace the joy of being fully myself, open to whatever the future brings, without fear and maybe I'll find him along the way.

Zhivago • Nov 1, 2020

I've been alone for most of my life. We come into this world alone and we will leave this world alone. Being alone is not a death sentence. It will not kill you. It allows for the journey within oneself. The better you know yourself, the better you become as a partner to someone. On top of that, it's much better to be alone than to be with the wrong person.