Men who pose as dominant males

Men who pose as dominant males

slaveTPECNC • Apr 7, 2023

My journey as a slave started 4 decades ago at age 19. I have been fortunate to have lived 8 years as a live in to 3 great women. my last owner, female, lent me to male dom and I found l liked serving a real man, masculine, alpha, who craved control and got it with use of hand, doubled over belt and single tail whip and was severe, but not brutal or extreme... he with his femdom friend took me over after my femdom went back to her husband.

My topic is how alarmed I have become to gay sites and where the level of fakes is 10 to 1 over women. I have driven 3 hours each way to be blown off and no showed on by 6 men in the last 3 months. These are guys who claimed they were male doms, seemed real, spoke to them on the phone and then upon the day of meeting, no show, phone numbers blocked and like little cowards went off to hide.

I like being a slave and have been searching for a dom couple where both are equally dominant and or a male dom who believes in real discipline and not play and not pretend or an evening session.... those make me feel empty and used.. I am spoiled serving real dominants, full time, in house... finding a woman who is heavy handed is 5 X times harder than a male dom...

Those who are the worst of the fakes, want a nude photo of my ass and sit and jack off... never return photos, most fall into that they are some former spec ops military or some double secret agent sort of bullshit story and refuse to share name, photo and phone... now why would anyone safety oriented with some level of self preservation want to meet some bozo who wants to talk to me in third person and assume from first contact that I am already his slave and says BS like " I am your master!" and " you are to do what I tell you" me knowing not a single thing about them.... seriously this has gotten old...... most of these guys are sitting with a box of handi wipes and one hand running their mouse and other hand on you know what..

My stats are gay and bi men are 12X more likely to flake, hide who they are, refuse to reveal their identities but assume that someone like me is supposed to entertain them online and then "poof" they are gone. I have been on RECON and that site is GHOST central and ghosting is apparently ok .....a BS site full of wrist pumpers...

Anyone else have same experiences with these guys? In a clinical context when a man, claiming to be a master, engages in this sort of behavior, it is in the DSM manual a text book definition of a predator grooming his next victim and confuses his abusive nature with a dominant... which are two polarized types of people one has noting to do with the other

Sasa​(dom female) • Apr 7, 2023

I'm sorry to hear that but happens to anyone, also females, also dommes. For me, it was one reason I am not looking online anymore. See, there is a whole industry of romance scammers and most come from Nigeria. All docs or military, of course, all special forces. It is everywhere, which doesn't make it better for those who are looking and on the costs of trusting anybody. There is no solution for that. Just being aware and moving on. Wish you the best.

Miki • Apr 7, 2023

Sorry to read that. It's a tough go, this Online matching thing.

But (not a ton of comfort, sorry,) but at least the worst you ended up with were no-shows or blow-offs.

Some may have just been jerking your chain while others might have been interested but chickened out once you were nearby, for any variety of reasons, often bored married men thinking they want to cross the proverbial road and check out the flip side-- BUT It could have been worse. Especially for gay or bi guys.. Sickos and creeps who would meet you and you'd meet your end.

Watch out for Online "Meet my Meat" scenarios. As in remember or look up the "Craigslist Killer", among other unhappy endings.

I have not and will not meet any online contacts for that particular reason--- While the "odds" are better for a woman than a man, and the majority out there are probably great guys, it only takes one psycho to ruin your whole fucking day. Wackos are the ultimate buzz-kill.

Stay safe -- as in no guarantees meeting anyone the first time--- But as I was saying, Stay Safer; Stay Local.

Best of luck to ya!

SarahRB​(sub female) • Apr 7, 2023

Sigh....

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Apr 7, 2023

I'm neither gay/bi nor am I speaking from the point of view of a submissive, but having taken part in various Dom(me) forums and groups, and having seen a lot of well intentioned Dom(me)s either flake out or gracefully excuse themselves. There are a lot of people who enter in with fantasies and preparations without realizing just how much work it actually is to be a Dom. Especially when you get into the territory of heavy-handed, TPE, or 24/7 Domination, it can get exhausting if it is something you enjoy and are naturally inclined to do. If it is more of a passing fancy, you might as well just keep fantasizing.

Note that this is not an attempt to justify leaving someone high and dry with no indication of why. As in any situation an explanation is warranted at the least. Just another prospective reason to consider that might help you tweak your vetting process.

Best of luck in the future.

I'mME • Apr 7, 2023

slaveTPECNC,

I understand your post, that is, I understand the frustration and hurt feelings that prompted your post.
Surely, with your experience (meaning within the LS) you know that just because people cross over the line from vanilla to BDSM, D/s dynamics (all the various ways one enjoys) doesn't make them automatically gain wisdom, respect, know right from wrong, tell the truth, etc.

I don't agree with your stats. Online can be one way to connect with others , to start chatting with a potential partner. You named many things that potentials engage in that frustrate you, so why are you engaging with people Who even begin that type of behavior? Why would you set up a meet with someone that did something (s) online, that you find distasteful?


How about in person? If you have to travel a bit for a munch, you are already driving 3 hours to meet someone ?

slaveTPECNC • Apr 8, 2023

Thanks for the kind words and insight. I have not stopped looking having been lucky 3 times and truly loved the dynamic.

To find the unicorn as I have shared with some close kink friends is almost impossible in finding a male and female dom couple...

I am still searching after a slave friend of mine landed a couple who he has lived with for 8 years, now for "optics" have a girl slave, two couples living in a large home around the vanillas.

Steellover​(sub male) • Apr 8, 2023

I recently had an experience where I had arranged to meet up with a dominant for play time, and with hope for the possibility of it leading to long term. "She" had advertized on a commercial site (not this one.) We had exchanged messages and had scheduled to meet at a coffee house, much like you describe. "Her" replies were typically really brief, short sentences rather than a conversation, which made me a bit uneasy, but I was hoping "She" would open up more when I met "Her" in person. But of course "She" didn't show up, and when I tried to call "Her," suddenly the number was blocked.

Not long afterwards, I discovered "She" had placed the exact same ad in nearly every other city in the U.S. And a few days later, "Her" pictures showed up in a different ad, only under a different name, different age, and different contact info. And, browsing a few other ads, I came across one that had the original text of "Her" original message, word for word, only with yet another new name and new set of photos.

Hence why I used the "She" in quotes. It was not a "She," but it was, as it turns out, one of the ubiquitous dating/hookup site bots. And I fell for it. I'm still kicking myself for it now.

I bring this up, because it's possible that what happened to slaveTPECNC in the original post is a similar situation; the people who stood him up in past meet up attempts might not have been... actual real people. And yes, it sucks when it happens, but sadly, it happens even to the best of us. I've tried to learn from it, and be more diligent about who I contact and set up a meet with, but it's all you can do.

I'mME • Apr 8, 2023

Hi steel.

SO are you saying that someone makes these bots up and deployes (for lack of better language due to not enough knowledge ) them onto these sites?

Sasa​(dom female) • Apr 8, 2023

I haven't even known there are bots, still a country chicken, lol. I bet with AI the conversations will get even better and deeper. Is that to give people the feeling there are more likewise persons? Is it about collecting informations? What is that ... Doesn't make a lot of sense to me.