Photos as proof...

Photos as proof...

rosethorn​(sub female) • Aug 4, 2018

Personally I find photos a bit pointless they can be from anywhere online and don't show as 'proof' of someone being genuine (in my opinion). I am curious as to other people views on this as more people are joining from the UK (where I am) there seems to be a prevailing idea of sending images as proof... seems odd to me. I have no issues meeting up in public places, even if the other person sends an image you will never actually know if it is them sue to the nature of the online world. Any one else have any thoughts on this ?

Asteria​(neither female) • Aug 4, 2018

Technically, it is possible to make such pictures "a proof" - one can ask for a specific setting (like a picture where someone is holing a paper with specific word written on it etc.). Also, there is something like Google reverse image search - it's not that difficult to find out whether someone used a random picture downloaded from the Internet or not (of course, it's not a perfect tool, but it might be helpful).

Now, one might say that pictures are just pictures and look does not matter, right? After all, the most important is personality etc. Well, yes and no - of course when it comes to me, as I only can speak of myself. While personality _is_ the most important thing, just like compatibility is, I will not say that look does not matter (for me) at all. We are all visual creatures and most of us have their "types" I guess. And if such pictures are supposed to be kind of an early stage verification, well, then they make sense, I think.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Aug 4, 2018

First step for me, if I have a doubt, is, and its on here, would be that the person records an audio of a set of words I write, not a known piece of writing, and record it immediately after I bond or pm it. This cuts out the possibility of picking a recording of the net and reduces them using someone else. I guess though that they could have someone to hand, but that would be more the sort of thing scammers would be set up for, more than regular people. I do this to suss out those pretending to be a gender that they aren't, and yes it has and does happen, I have experience of that.

After that a skype session audio and briefly video, just to add a second level of checking. That is as much as you can do to weed out possible gender fakers and may deter scammers.

If its to have a visual for checking attractiveness of the other party, for myself compatible energy, good rapport, nice connection is more important than looks, but I understand why some may want to do that. Those who put looks before the other factors are generally in my view a bit shallow and closed minded.

rosethorn​(sub female) • Aug 4, 2018

I can see both view, I didn't know about the google reverse image thing, personally I prefer to meet up in person or skype conversation. It seems to be thrown at me a fair bit about the pictures as I don't do them, however they are very easy to fake now due to the amount of apps and photoshop ect, its really not that difficult. Another issue is for some an online paper trail isn't a good idea depending on other things you have going on, women can still be judged harshly for this way of life in some areas. x

Hisproclivity​(sub female) • Aug 4, 2018

I don't do photos as well Rose.

I normally Skype Voice & Video early on...the ones that decline are normally hiding something And like you stated..a picture is a picture and can be anyones.

curiouskittyy​(sub female){GentlemanX} • Aug 4, 2018

I agree with Sara that you should just Skype or FaceTime - as this allows solid proof without much issue. However, if someone is more shy or uncomfortable for whatever reason then I read a good blog post on here with validation tips. Asking them to pose a certain way, something which would be hard to find online, or holding up a piece of paper with a given sentence, or even sending a short video with a certain phrase. I mean people are here to meet like-minded others, so I don’t get why they would fake themselves anyway, but if others have experienced this then there are many ways now to catch a catfish x

BDSM DOM​(dom male) • Aug 6, 2018

I would like to comment on this topic. As we all know there is alot of people out there in the world who like to scam people, pretending to be some one they are not, use fake pics, etc. Which makes alot harder when your looking for someone. Because you never really know who your talking to. As its been said above, there is a way to find out if a pic is fake. But even that helps only so much....Personally I feel like Skype or other video chat apps are a good way to see the real person your talking to. I also want to add in though, that even you see that person. You should still be cautious. Take slow steps always when your talking to some one you never have before. But in regards to pics, dont put much stock into them. You never truly know who you're seeing. I however want to add in one last thing, just my two cents worth. Just because there is alot of fake pics out there, dont let that stop you from looking, or making new friends...There is alot of people out there who are the real deal. Ty to all who read this post

Taramafor​(sub male) • Aug 7, 2018

There's no "proof" in a photo. You find out "how physically attractive someone is or not" with them but the factor at the end of the day is TRUST. Being there in hard times. Which, yes, is possible online but even someone in the very same room may mistrust you easily too. Trust and mistrust is present in both areas. Thing is sometimes we get close to people with trust issues who lie more easily then others. Then you got to work hard to get them tot trust your judgement. At least I know someone is ACTUALLY there for me in those times. And I for them of course.

The way I get to the truth in all things is simple. "Do you really want to risk knowing each other for a year before we find out while hiding who you really are". Of course not. No one wants to be that person that goes "I'm something I'm not and lied at the start and dealt with secrets and lies for a whole year." The main reason to lie is because you don't trust someone to be there for the real you (something like mindfucking can be an exception to this, but it's a very TEMPORARY deception). Be you, be accepted for it, be loved for it. And if you do happen to lie and keep secrets from me for a whole year... Well, surprisingly I been in such situations and it's ok because everyone gets afraid and makes mistakes. Surprised I'm not more ticked off about it to be honest.

Could be a number of reasons for a situation like that to occur. "I think it's fun to deceive people" (can be a gender thing with avatars too). But that "fun" can quickly turn into "Now I actually FEEL for them and am AFRAID to tell them what I really am because I'm afraid of losing them". So consider that if nothing else. And I say that on both sides of the fence. Try not to be afraid if you feel like you need to hide. And be understanding if someone is afraid. Maybe "not afraid right now because they're not yet that close to me" but it's on you (the one deceiving) if you're hard on yourself for lying to someone so long and find out you care for them. It's also on you, the one being told the truth eventually, if you hold a grudge and blame them or take a deep breath and realise what you do have. That the person is still the same even if different. Different skin but same personality.

There's also "I'm unattractive and want to hide it". But I WILL find out sooner or later. Show it, cover the truth of the situation, move on to fun times. We all have unattractive qualities and it's pointless to try to hide it. For all you know maybe I'd end up saying "It's clear you have confidence issues and here's how I can help make you braver". I can do that just by looking at someone who is honest with their picture and be told it's helpful. So why hide it? Because the world is full of people that look down on you? Why even care about people that do that? Therefor, if you have to hide yourself, you have already shown that you have trust issues. There's plenty of people out there that will accept you for who you are if you let them. But that's impossible if you hide.

Debz​(sub female){Barnaby} • Aug 8, 2018

So if you have entered into a dom/sub relationship online, would you say that a video call would have been something that happens at the beginning

Debz

Heart of Persephone​(sub female) • Aug 9, 2018

live picture work, then a video