Just me

The rain dances on the roof top

Creating a soothing lullaby

I listen to the sounds

Between the realm of dream and wake

I feel his arms around me

His breath on my neck

His heart beat mixed with the rain

I lay against his chest

Feeling the warmth of him

The rain lulls me into bliss

His heart calms my soul

I am safe wrapped in him

No words are spoken

No need everything is in his touch

The rain continues its song

My eyes become heavy

His lips brush my cheek

His hands lightly in my hair

I tell him thank you

He says to sleep

I trust in him

To keep me safely in his arms

The dark closes

The rain pounds

His breath is mine

My heart beat is his

I fly off to dream

I look for him there

I wait and see

When he comes to me this night who will he be

She was lost and found herself

settling into the comfortable

She saw him far away

Longing to find one like him

Never did she think she stood a chance

She never even tried

Somehow she saw inside him

Knowing he could give her so much more

She kept her defenses up

Staying in the shadows

He worked his way to her

Using nothing more than words

She saw his soul

The peace it brought

Friendship was what she seeked.

And so did he

He is the connection she longed to have

The missing piece to who she is.

He slays the demons that come to her

Creates a new reality for them

He helps her grow and learn

By challenging her mind

He gives her the comfort she needs

Simply by listening

He makes her days better

Her nightmares fade away

He is the light in the dark

The key to her dark desires

He found the secrets she holds

And locks them away for safe keeping

Time strengthens the connection

Learning more about eachother

They find the path that Leads them home

Together they are stronger

they are untouchable

Slowly the two meld into a unit

One strength

One dream

One desire

One heart

One soul

Fighting struggling nothing falling into place

One thing clicks others fall off.

I become lost in the anger the frustration

I stomp down the hall and stand in my adult kitchen

and see your face

The glow behind you soft ever warm

The look of knowing your perfectionist daughter

cant get it right

You ask me what's wrong and I tell you I just cant

You tell me I can and smile a soft touch to my cheek

to wipe the tears away

I wake knowing you were here.

I can feel it

I have not dreamt of you since you left me many

years ago.

Then it was a dream that was memory, a daughter

saying goodbye

A mother giving one last praise before they parted.

I see you in everything I do little hints that you are

with me.

I've never had you come back to me in my dreams

Until today.

The pain and sorrow rises to the top

Overwhelming me drowning me

Guilt for not making it in time

All back to the moment 18 years ago.

I sit here tears streaming down my face

As I write I realize I almost missed the gift

All you were doing was granting me one more time

To feel the warmth the strength and love even with

one simple touch

Sometime we miss the beauty in our dreams today was almost one of those moments for me. I may be an emotional wreck right now because it was so real but I remember her touch and laughter today something I was forgetting. We may let them slip away and learn to live without them being the best version of us but it's never easy being a child without a parent at any age.

Love with all you have and show those around you what they mean to you. Now I'm off to catch my breath again...

She doesnt know what the future holds

Nor does she want to find out

She can't promise a forever

Things can change in the blink of an eye

She cant give her all always

There are others that demand her time

She cant be perfect

Perfection is mythical

She can stand and support

The one who deserves it

She can give the best parts of her

To the one willing to accept her faults

She can give right now and live in the moment

To the one who chooses to live

She can give herself with the promise to grow

To the one who will teach and guide

She can give her mind

When its noticed

She can give her soul

When its cherished

She can give her heart

When its loved

Will you care for the heart with the cracks and dings

Will you help it become stronger and stay together

Will you hold it in your hands and cherish it

Will you challenge her mind and help her see

Chase away the demons from her past

Will you help her mind create and grow

Find the passions that were take away by others

Will you appreciate her knowledge

And match it to keep her engaged.

Will you protect all of her

Mind heart and soul

When you make her feel safe appreciated and loved

She will give you her all.

She will kneel at your feet

Bow her head in respect

Serve you in all ways

Support you

Cherish you

And most of all love you.

As the biggest dang shopping holiday nears I have a question. 

If you had only 20$ to spend on your special someone what would you get them. 

I cant wait to see the creative ideas. I have my own and will add it later...

Have fun and happy night before turkey day

So I was talking to LL today and we both kinda wanted to Express how grateful we are for those of you who are reading our writings. He has been extremely busy this week and hasnt found much time to write. Trust me I miss the writings from him as much as everyone else.

He encouraged me to write. To continue my passion keep reaching people and that he will be back soon to his blogging. So with that said here I go.

She stands in the shower washing her face.
Eyes close as the warm water rinses the soap.
She lathers her hands and washes her face again trying to make the stressors go away. Eyes still closed she moves to her neck hands wrapping around lightly and instantly she feels him. It is no longer her hands washing but his. She leans into the water let's the heat take her away to him. His hands trail her body cleaning her. Slowly rubbing caressing and learning every inch. She moans. The cold air from the window comes in and goosebumps rise on her skin. The air becomes his breath. Blowing lightly on her neck and back she is lost in him. Living in the moment she is consumed with the need to please him to be his. She is Frozen in place. She is an instrument and he the maestro she cant wait to have his skilled hands on her.

Unfortunately my alarm for work is ringing and now I must leave. I hope everyone has a wonderful day.

Again LL will return hopefully soon to blogging. For now he inspires me. Enjoy

So the last few weeks I have been quieter here. I have stopped blogging my raw emotions stopped sharing my journey. My drive home made me realize how angry it made me that to protect others I grew silent. I didnt want to hurt anyone with words and I didnt want to be misunderstood. After writing my journal entry tonight I realized I dont really care. My journey is for me not anyone else.

Recently I started a story with LL we never talked as we wrote we just fed of eachothers writings. He had his Sub I had someone I had given a second chance to. We were moving slowly trying to rebuild. Well shit hit the fan and I was told I was neglectful that I needed to stop writing with LL and that if this person knew how much writing meant to me they would have done it with me. That broke the already cracked trust I was rebuilding.

Anyway I gave him the same respect he gave me and sent him a cage mail telling him what I thought about his ultimatum then blocked. I wasnt going to give a other chance. This person then took things that were important to me and blogged them, yes I saw. He then talked to friends and tried to I guess sway them I dont really know. He blogged how his girl was neglectful and didnt have time for him. I didnt respond. I backed way off closing off to a lot of things. Then I thought I was going to see a light burn out that means so very much to me and he reached out to her. That enraged me. I still kept quiet.

So this is where I am the ass, I was talking to someone else yes another who is a great soul but went silent on me for weeks. So when he finally came back around I wasnt ready to let go of his friendship. I started to notice things here too. I wasnt ready for either of these 2. I apologize for not knowing that at the time. I hurt them yes but I never struck out I never said a bad word about anyone or tried to make anyone feel bad. I stayed quiet. I was never owned and never knelt to either of these men.

So this leads to the drive home I was done i was finally angry enough to be open about this. Somewhere in all my chaos LL was subless. I offered to stop writing with him so he could heal. Other than small talk about the story we still hadn't really talked. The same day he and his sub parted was the day I was given the ultimatum. LL and I still had barely spoke. I left to go up north for the weekend did a lot of soul searching. I came home different, I cut most everyone off.

Some how LL still stood out. His writing helped me get lost in my head and not think. I asked him if it was helping him. I believe it was on the 20th we started talking.

Things are natural and free in this place I'm at. When I thought I was going to loose a friend I wasnt faulted for time given to her. When my stress at home took me away for hours i wasnt faulted then. I was encouraged and supported. LL was becoming a center for me.

So right now writing this I dont care judge me, dont, hate me, love me it doesnt matter really it's all about my ride in this life. I'm not going to hold back anymore.

Thank you to a dear friend ( I love you to bits) who reminded me to let go and let someone else guide me. He truly is the all powerful and knows the path were suppose to take.

To LL you know where I stand. I want to share my joy and stand in the sun. Be under the same sky and breathe.

A..
Only a letter to some, the start of something, the beginning. So many letters to get to Z.
All of us fall somewhere A to Z. Our names start with one letter, one idea.
What we make of that name is up to us.

In school it means everything it's how we know we are achieving. Later in life our achievements are shown in who we surround ourselves with and how we treat them.

I have had many failures in my life, things that were dreams that fizzled. People I've let down and people who let me down. I have survived. All a letter somewhere in my life.

My children, the letters that mean the most to me. Crazy enough their letters in order spell Same.. I hope that this means they feel the same for me.

One letter that means something to everyone is I. We are so worried about I sometimes we forget U. We use I so often in our day but do we ever stop to think about the U. Others may need something so much more that I.

I dont know where I am going with this but I guess it's because I have a lot to say and cant. I feel trapped like I cant blog because assumptions are made. So for now cryptic is all you get out of me.

I know in this moment, this blink of an eye I want only one letter, I want the A.
Always
J

Today I heard a song and it sent me down a rabbit hole. Of course music always does this and I end listening to old things from my days in Oklahoma. I have to say I miss dancing. I miss the waltz, the 2 step and just the fun. So these are slower songs but ? they definitely take me places.

Dedication time is the only way to know someone or understand how they feel. ?

I am beautiful crazy! If you know me you know how I set out with a plan everyday and get ready to say nope I'd rather just hide in the house and watch a movie. I work to hard to run around on my days off.?

Moving on with out a regret. ?

And finally who cant live this man

The movie I know this song from is one of my favorites "Hope Floats" 

Music impacts me daily and today it brought me a calm. I've been off all day. So again forgive the calm songs but they are what brought me peace along with some good old fashioned writing. 

Sorry it's taken so long but here it is. Still truly honored to write with someone so gifted.

She walks out and sees him not sure if hes a dream or real. Her breath catches when she understands hes really there. Looking amazing in his suit. She licks her lips and is pulled to him. She gets lost in him. Every detail every touch. It ends all to quick for her. He leaves her with the toy and keeps her on her toes.
She heads to check in and as soon as shes handed her ticked she pulls out her phone and searches for his name in her phone. Shes scrolling and doesnt see anything new until she hits S. There it is she thinks and smiles as she sees the word shadow. He didnt put it under his name but her name she gave him before she knew. She quickly types out a text and smiles as she sends
"Made it to check in but I have a feeling you already know that. I dont know what it is about you but I get a sense you know my every move. Looking forward to LA and seeing what you have in mind." She thinks for a few minutes and then adds "I followed your orders" she sends it and almost instantly squeals as the lush takes her breath away. The sensation of her clit and g spot being stimulated almost proves to be to much. She grabs ahold of a man standing near her gripping is arm while clenching her teeth. As soon as the toy stops she lets go of the man smiles at him and his wife and say " I'm so sorry sometimes cramps can be so intense I can barely stand" the woman looks at her and gives a nod.
He gives her an order and she rushes to the bathroom. Quickly links to him to video. When she connects she hears chatter in the background and she knows hes going to push her. She has to be quiet people are around. He sets her off on the path and before she knows it her body is loosing control. She fights and finally gives in begging him quietly to let her cum. He sends the text and she starts to loose control as she gives in she hears someone come in. Trying to hold herself and loose control so no one knows. She bites her lip and moans. Louder than she expected.
When he was done she blew him a kiss adjusted herself and walked out of the. bathroom. There at the sink was the woman from earlier. She looked at her and giggled saying " I wish my cramps were that good, Sir and I use to play that way before life got in the way." She looked at her and asked "Sir?" The woman explained what she could in the time given. Her husband and her were in a dynamic where she was his submissive. All of these were new terms to her but the story the woman told her made her want to learn more. She thanked the kind lady and went on about her business. She quickly got in line for the flight and pulled a book about submission and decided to read.
The flight was uneventful and long. She knew he was busy but longed to know he was thinking of her. As soon as the plane landed the sensations started again. She was trying to maintain some sense of normal as she exited the plane. Biting her lip to keep the moans quiet, clenching her legs to walk. Anything to keep from disappointing him. She pulled ger phone and saw several messages from him. Each one gave her a more intense sense of fear. Fear that she had disappointed him somehow. She sent him a message " Sir I am sorry I didnt know I was to tell you when we landed. I didnt get any message from you until just now. Please dont be angry and still come for dinner in a few days. I have been learning more about how to cook them and also about what I think this is we are doing" she sent the message and waited....
The day had finally come he was going to be here soon. She had spent all week learning perfect the dish he requested. She read everything she could on what he called her "pets" in gaining knowledge she learned about herself. She was a submissive she was meant to be claimed and owned.
She spent time getting ready washing herself, applying make up, fixing her hair. Letting some of the curls frame her face but braiding the rest down her back. The time was approaching and she thought of the perfect pose to be in as he knocked on the door. She let her robe drop and was in nothing but stockings and heels. She knelt in front of the door putting her hands on the floor and her face down on them. This would present her back and ass for him. If he asked her to rise when she did it would give him a view of everything else. Movements were all calculated as she waited. Then she heard it the knock. She looked at the clock and it was time. He was exactly on time. She took one more glance around the room which she also had set up. Soft candle light illuminated her house. The music a soft tune just to create a mellow noise. The smell in the air was of drunken noodles it was all perfect. She got into position said "come in" the door clicked and she held her breath waiting to hear his response..... oh to please Sir was all she cared about in that moment. To hear his joy in his breath the ultimate prize.