Today I was faced with a reality I had known was coming but kept putting off.
I let go of the one last barrier i had in place. I had a safety net always.
When my ex and I separated I met someone here. He was my everything (almost) for 2 years.
I was let down over and over and my loyalty kept me there and my need for someone. I started to venture out and started to grow.
I was to the point that I was ready but put it off until my little man asked me if this person was ever going to be here and said hes never coming. I knew then I was crippling myself and only hurting is all.
So today I said goodbye to the person who helped mold and shape me into who I am today. I dont fault him his choices or what happend. I fault me for not being true to myself.
Today I release all of the weight I carried and false dreams I let live in my heart. Today I may have hurt another soul but it was to save my own.
Tomorrow the sun will rise (cali bi polar weather permitting) my littles will wake up smiling and hungry and I will find my footing again and when the time is right I will be free of baggage and be able to give all of me no holding back.
So until tomorrow I will mourn my loss and tomorrow know it's a new day.
