Today I'd like to talk about the concept of being strong, from a man and a woman's perspective.
I see the term used indiscriminately for both genders, but few realise that a strong woman and a strong man are vastly different to men and women. For example, as a man, and obviously only representing myself, strength for a man means to be of strong body and spirit. It doesn't mean to be defiant, but it does mean being able to be a rock in tough times, compassionate and wise in judgement. A strong man isn't necessarily a loner, he looks after others. His "tribe", his family or his friends. To be strong to men, is to be able to be a well spring of safety and power. Sure, you can be strong of body but be cruel of spirit, but then you have a man who might as easily destroy that which he stands for, as well as protect it. Strong of spirit but not of body leads to a man who has his heart in the right place, but not the power to match his ideals.
I realise I may be thinking in a very idealistic way, but I've always held that the truest test of strength is how well you can protect others, as well as protect yourself.
And then you have the women's way of strength. As a man, I can only really guess as to what a strong woman is to a woman, but there are some consistencies I've found to repeat. For example, a strong woman is typically strong in spirit, but not necessarily strong in body (from a man's perspective). She is often referred to as being able to take care of herself, having "strong" opinions (yes, I realise that I definite the thing I'm trying to define with itself haha) and generally be more outspoken. Sometimes, interestingly enough, women are called strong because they obstinately believe something about themselves to be true, to the point of absurdity. For example, I am currently overweight and therefore would call myself fat. I call myself this, because my BMI is above the normal value for my height to body weight ratio. A woman who might refuse to call herself overweight, and instead call herself curvy, might be considered strong because she "doesn't care what others think about her", and has turned her problem into something positive. This is all well and good, of course, but men (myself) value strength as being precise, true and on-the-nose. A strong man would realise he had a problem, and take steps to remedy the situation. And a strong woman, again just some cases I've seen, would instead refuse to change and instead glorify her current situation rather than do anything about it.
So why are our definitions of strength so different from each other? Well, as the book "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" implies, I believe it's because we are born with, and grow into, certain values. But well that is a whole other book about child psychology and societal patterns that I probably don't know anything about, so I won't attempt to go further with it without a careful think.
Sometimes you do see a woman who fits men's (again, just me) definition of strength. A woman who trains her body, looks out for others and is wise and on-the-nose about things. And sometimes you see men with a woman's definition of strength, who carry themselves with enormous weight and influence, such as drags, for better or worse.
I'd just like to repeat myself again, that these are all my personal observations, and I don't actually have a particular favourite. I do believe that the female version of strength focusses too heavily on the strength of the spirit. The reason for this is because, as I said earlier, if a man has strength without compassion, he can be a cruel tyrant to all those around him, and people will fear him instead of look up to him. So if you just focus on one thing, you will fall into a pit trap of imbalance.
Anyway, I might be completely wrong and just talk shite out of my ass! I'd love to hear (summarised as short as possible, so we can avoid huge comment chains) what you think about what I've described. I'd also love to hear from women how they perceive a strong woman, and also a strong man! Since I can't exactly get that perspective naturally, it would be invaluable for me if I turn out to be wrong.
In any case, thanks for reading and hope you have a great day.
