Rose's Thorns.

I automatically know there will be messages in my inbox after this, that's not my aim.

I've been single for awhile now, I can't remember the last time I was asked out by a guy because he liked me, rather than just looking for something on the side. Going on what you think is a date only to find out the guys married and is just looking for sex, is not a fun experience. No one likes to be treated as second best especially when you think you have been asked out on a date rather than propositioned. Ive pretty much completely given up at this point. It gets tiresome being on your own. Constantly having leftovers in the fridge because you're cooking for one. There's no reason to put makeup on in the morning. There's no one to sit down next to when you have dinner at night. You don't share anything about your day because there's no point. No one asks how your day went or even shows an interest. Even if it's just to look polite and ask. There is no one next to you before you go to sleep at night and every morning you wake up with no one to say hello to. There's no point in making breakfast it just creates washing up. The washing up you never do because there's no point in making the house look nice. They still want to ask for advice either or just ask how things are going. 

I'm not sure if anybody else can understand but I'm exhausted. I don't want to have to do everything alone. I don't want to have to make all of the decisions. Do you know how nice it would be if i didnt have to decide what to cook tonight because someone else chose, sometimes by the time i decided what to cook I give up on cooking and just go to bed. What's the point it's not like there is anyone else waiting for dinner. The other week I had just eating porridge all week purely because I didn't have to pick anything. 

If I put this up anywhere else I would be eviscerated for it. I don't want to have to make all the decisions by myself, it's exhausting. Im just very tired of it. 

Each day my heart breaks a little bit more. Today I was called dirty unclean and unsafe to be around. 

Anyone thinking the UK is a good place to be right now I wouldn't suggest coming here. 

To my fellow science nerds, who know whats up. I know many of us are here. I sincerely doubt I could put this anywhere else and it would stay up. Not going to be long for me here now, I wish the rest of you luck. Maybe a place you can find help and support. love you all. Good luck. 

The UK is currently like a slow wounded animal. Liberty just died. If there's anyone on here from France you will know what I mean. 

Freedom papers in Britain wow welcome to 1938. 

You can ban me for putting this up I don't give a s*** I would rather put it up and people know before coming here. End of September. 

The Citizens of the UK seems to be in a non consensual situation with it's government. 

The one thing that's important to me with BDSM is choice, free will and consent. 

Well consent just died in the UK. I know this is going to piss a lot of people putting this up but it's true. 

The facts my free will decisions and bodily autonomy is being removed from me is leading to eating problems again. When you don't feel like you're in control of your life it's really disorientating. 

Everything I have ever worked for has just disintegrated. 7 years worth of training now completely f****** pointless. Because Minister's want to look good in front of the TV cameras. 

I need to go scream into a pillow for half an hour. 

Any suggestions for countries to go to the uphold the Nuremberg code and declaration of Helsinki let me know below and I might put a visa application in. Xxx 

I miss normal 

So yup that's it freedom died and not with a bang or whimper but without a sound, no one even looked up. 

Makes me sad 

So in an attempt to eat more fish and meat ive been trying to learn new recipes. I found out about bento boxes and they are so beautiful and a good idea.

But two hours later im looking at tourist videos of Japan and wondering when i can afford to go.

Another hour later and i find something called a love hotel? It has a cage in the room.... literally. I have no clue what i found and am slightly concerned the you tube algorithm knows me this well lol. 

So something odd has started to happen. Ive noticed it over the past few years. It used to be an odd one off but seems to have gotten more frequent recently.

Where guy's don't just come up to ask you out but actually try to invite themselves into your flat. Yes i mean complete strangers. The 'oh we can get a drink at yours'. What? When did this become a thing? 

It's happened recently turns out its also happened to a friend who lives in a different area of the country, so is this some new way of chatting women up, random dudes inviting themselves in? 

Or the 'do you have a boyfriend if not can i come up' ? 

This was the other week but a year ago i realized halfway through being chatted up that i wasn't being chatted up at all..... it's probably not appropriate to put upon here. When i realized i was kinda speechless. 

Is this a new way of trying to score or something? Hi you don't know me and im a random guy but can you take me upstairs even though im a complete stranger. 

Has this happened to anyone else because its kinda weird walking home from the shop and a stranger walking past goes you look good can i come up for a drink. 

.... ive discovered one of the most magical food combinations to ever exist.... Worcester sauce and Tabasco. 

How did i not know this?  

It's amazing... just don't get any in your eyes.

Especially with cheese

Ive been trying to get better at understanding the dating scene and human interaction ive found some funny terms. Feel free to add in the comments. 

So...

Peacocking 

Showboating

Oneupmanship 

Catfishing 

Woke fishing 

Cuttlefishing 

Tinder hopping

Magpie 

On the prowl

Who knew there was so many fishing analogys for dating ... 

Maybe some more peacocking analogies would be fun