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CapnRick​(dom male)Verified Account

Longer-Term D/s Considerations

Things unseen often affect relationships. This is a (perhaps infrequent) chance to look at some of them through the lens of a decade or more of online experiences with a variety of submissive partners.
6 years ago. Sunday, January 19, 2020 at 9:34 PM

These columns are full of the griefs of submissives who are ghosted, spurned or otherwise trashed by uncaring Doms.  We all feel for their heartbreak,

Less often written about is when a Dom loses a sub.

I my case, these losses have seemed to mostly be about  the sub developing too  strong an emotional attachment.   No, this is not to toot my own horn-- any good D/s relationship develops strong emotional ties.  It seems, though, that  some subs are not quite prepared for the depth of that emotional attachment...Especially this might be true if the sub is otherwise married, and wanting a Dom on the side for unfulfilled desires.

 Perhaps I can be slammed for messing with married subs in the first place.  I grant that.  Still, it can come as a cruel blow for a Dom to devote his attention and his cherishing to bringing along a sub with issues needing his assistance, to feel they are making progress together, only to be faced with a tearful farewell...

Maybe there is no good answer except to avoid "in a monogamous relationship" subs in the first place.   Sigh.

Still, if you are a new sub, and in one of those monogamous relationships, you might give some careful thoughts to how you will be able to handle  falling into deep lust, or more,  when you bring yourself to the Cage..  Are you going to withdraw when emotional entanglements ensue?

Doms invest a lot of thought and energy into their subs...  Cutting and running because suddenly  your emotions are involved  can really ding the Dom you are spurning....

Just a thought.  Or a variation on the "He Done Me Wrong" theme so often expressed here....

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