Longer-Term D/s Considerations

Beautiful eyes​(sub female){Taken} - Well said xxx

MasterBear​(other butch) - As My beloved says "do not become someone elses cautionary tale"

babygirlnovah​(sub female) - Beautiful words ❤️

Satindragon - Very well said my friend.

However, Some may not want to hear this, but there are subs out there who spin a woeful tail in order to entrap a big hearted Dominant.

CapnRick​(dom male) - Worthwhile noting, Dragongirl, and a caution, too!

AltKnight​(dom male) - So sad, but that truly is the case... too many confuse being a Dom with being abusive, a view point that comes from ignorance and malice.

You don't have to be a dick to be a Dom.

THE GENTLE DOM​(dom male) - This is a very good subject that does need discussing. I too read blogs and consistently many subs suffer heartache , abuse or mental problems associated with being treated badly by so called Dom's. I am rather old school and I know there are books on the subject of this lifestyle, but I wonder if we could create a very basic code of ethics that a submissive could refer to or ask questions about how to be treated respectfully. Great blog btw . GD

babygirlnovah​(sub female) - I think that would be an amazing thing to do 🥰

I'mME - There are already tons of things written about his very thing. I'm going to ride the fence for a moment. Yes there are assholes everywhere in life, this is true. What I often have a problem with is females who don't take responsibility for their part in a situation, accountability.

That is vitally important, it keeps a person aware of things to not do or things that they may want to improve upon.
It is worrisome to me, when I see so many that are perpetual victims (both sides of the slash) Aren't we adults ? I was raised to think about how I contributed to a situation. It may not be something one can do right in the moment. But I believe it can help someone to move on.

AltKnight​(dom male) - I quite agree, a basic code of ethics and the merest of minimum standards is a great idea.

Angel Wings​(sub female) - Capn, thank you for being a voice that so many Doms and subs need to hear more often. Being a Dom doesn't mean abuse and being a sub doesn't mean we take abuse. I learned the hard way; but throughout the years and with some much needed Dom guidance I learned I also have a voice.

Great post and thank you.

ADIDAS - Great post Mr. CR! I'm with Ms. Angel Wings, I too, learned the hard way. But I was stupid and uneducated about the finer points of the roles and because of that, I basically allowed myself to become abused. I didn't know what was happening at the time, I thought it was part of the training. Until after I met them in person. I convinced myself that he was a great Dom and that meeting was what it was like. Well, no point in rehashing all that.

I agree as well with the idea of a list of less than wonderful Doms, or for subbies at least. A way to warn newbies.

I read profiles, for example might say,The Dom is 28 years old and states he has 10 years experience. I just laugh at those. I automatically know-fake Dom- likes rough sex so he calls himself a Dom. Over the years I've learned but through trials and tribulations. AND, to MyDaddy,the absolutely perfect, every Dom wishes they were him, I wish for the other subbies that their Dom could be just 1/2 the Dominate that MyDaddy is! He made me the whole woman I am today. And believe me, that was a heck of a job that has taken years but it doesn't feel like it.

I'm sorry I kinda hijacked your post here Mr. CR.... that was quite rude of me but I apologize for my bad manners. This topic just makes me furious that these cretins are still out there doing their damage, willy-nilly, and for what? Just to get a nut off?

Thank you for your always thought provoking posts! Keep it up!

Ms. A💗

MsDove​(sub female){Eternal Pi} - I can't tell you how many subs I have spoken to and provided warnings. The thing is, that many of the instadoms are well schooled. They know how to talk the talk. I know experienced subs that have been taken advantage of. There's nothing that is a perfect science.

That said, subs are often extremely rude too. My Master and I are seeking a third. He consistently reads the full profile and writes a polite message introducing us and asking if they might be interested. I am amazed at the foul language that is sometimes returned. WT#? Blocking is a favorite pass time foe some. We understand that subs might be inundated with messages, but at least respond to a polite message in kind with a "no tha.k you."

CapnRick​(dom male) - Thanks to all the commenters here. I do wish the staff could work on some way to identify the worst among us and 'invite' them to leave. Maybe a point system based on the number of BLOCKs a renegade "Dom" receives? Something like that....