A Secret to tell

Sometimes after a hard day at work a girl just needs a make over.

Amara laughed at something her friend was saying. A flush of red creeping into her cheeks as she tries to brush off the embarrassing nature of the joke. Fanning herself, a smile pasted on her face, she looked around the restaurant quietly. D’mario, the establishment's owner, was one of her closest friends and always kept this particular table open for her. This particular restaurant was a 5-star and always in high demand. She had been the one to help D’mario convince the bank to give him the loan needed for it. They had been friends for years, and he had approached her to do the presentation and work up the financials for the bank. Of course, she had only been too happy to. Since then, they had only grown closer as friends.

     She was surprised he hadn’t managed to get snatched up by all the eligible women in the area since he was such a good-looking man. D’mario was of Italian descent, though you could never tell by his Detroit accent. You could, however, tell by his dark brown eyes, gorgeous curly black hair locks, and olive-toned skin. The fact that he could cook, was in shape and had a love for family that topped even her own, was just a bonus. Let's not even talk about how gorgeous his restaurant was with its gossamer white walls and gold trim. The paintings on the ceilings alone left you breathless when you first walked through the doors. D’mario had undoubtedly done a number with the plans and design for this place. He had wanted to capture the essence of beauty and art, and he had certainly done that. Between the remake of the marble hall ceiling artwork, and the gold trim with stunning designs and inlay, a person didn't stand a chance of not wanting to eat here. Even the tables had Egyptian silk top covers, with specially designed centerpieces that changed daily to draw the guest's eyes. It was, of course, meant as a conversation starter to keep things from getting awkward for people, and in her mind, it worked.

“ Will there be anything else, Miss Martin? Amara looked up at the waiter standing by her table and smiled, shaking her head gently. “ no, that's all Cameron, thank you.” she watched as he walked away and again wondered where D'Mario had gotten to. It wasn't like him to keep her waiting long. She had big plans with him tonight, including revealing her feelings to him, but at this rate she wasn't going to get to. 

“ Amara…AMARA!” Destiny looked at her like she had lost her head again. 

Putting an apologetic smile on her face she gave her friend her attention once more, “I'm sorry, Destiny, what were you saying?” she must have spaced out for a minute thinking.

“I swear, where do you go in that head of yours? Amara smiled and laughed, looking at her friend. Destiny was a beauty for sure with her long black hair and vivid blue eyes. The woman didn't even realize it half the time, while Amara herself was rather plain. She had her brown hair swept up into a bun at the moment, but even when down, it was stick straight with no curl or bounce like Destiny's did. Her eyes were hazel with more gold than green to them, and she was on the plump side, not overly so, but her butt and boobs made it almost impossible to find decent clothes. Lucious was how Destiny described her often, but Amara just didn't see it. 

Standing up, she looked at her friend and mentioned the bathroom before hurrying away. Destiny was fun, but lord, that woman could talk. Smiling to herself, she made her way to the alcove where the bathrooms were and moved to walk in, only to find an arm blocking the way. Frowning Amara looked up and into the most stunning green eyes she had ever seen. They almost seemed to glow in their intensity and were attached to a face that had to of been carved by angels themselves. However, it did nothing to stave off the current irritation at finding her way suddenly blocked. 

“ If you will excuse me, sir, I need to make use of the ladies' room.” she tried to push his arm out of the way only to find him unmovable. Huffing in irritation, she glared up at the man before her

“ Can I help you with something?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, you can. My name is Damien, and I will be having the pleasure of your company this evening, pet.” his voice was deep but soft, sending a shiver down her spine. Snorting, she laughed and shook her head in disbelief. 

“ You have some nerve ..Damien, was it? However, I am previously engaged with my friend and have plans later this evening, so I won’t be joining you for anything.” Once again, she tried to move past him, only to once again find her way still blocked his arm still unmovable.

“Ah, but you see pet, that is where you are mistaken...” Amara opened her mouth to tell him off at that point, only to find her nose and mouth covered, and a sickly sweet smell filled her senses. She kicked out, smiling in satisfaction when she heard a grunt right before everything went dark. This was not how her evening was supposed to go.

  As I lay in my bed today wasting time away til I could rest for work tonight, I received a very unusual request. In most of my post I have this uplifting , bring light to the moment kind of attitude. I laugh and smile with the best I am happy, and my life is as I wish it. This was pointed out to me by a person who then asked the unthinkable of me. They said, " I would like for you to set a timer for five minutes, and just write, be as vulnerable and open as possible. Then stop immediately no matter where you are when the timer stops. I want to see the real you come to life. The one you hold behind the walls around you. I may be wrong you may not have walls. All the same, it is a challenge you will either pick up and run with , or one you will lay down and walk away from. Either way I await your decision." I do not usually answer request this way, but the being inside me just cannot let it go. It hits a whole other level of deep emotions honesty that is just me. I am beginning to think this person knows exactly what they are doing, but all the same I will accept the challenge. Below are my end results....

     Venerable, a whole new level of class for me. Walls are definitely a big part of who I am , I have much to protect. Namely the inner child who still lives so carefree. I had children, but could not make enough income to care for them. I was forced to choose, and in the end I had to choose what was best for them, and not myself. I let them go to a family who loves them so strongly to this day. I have no regrets, only a missing part of my soul. I have daddy issues it is true. I come from a broken but strong family. Fighting is just who we are. I am always happy and bubbly encouraging others because well Robin William's said it best " I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy, because they know what its like to feel absolutely worthless". I am overweight though I use to not be. I crave that smaller human being I once was, so I work on my weight loss religiously right now. I love with nothing but passion and fire, and leave myself open to hurt sometimes. I don't trust as easily as I once did, and I fight everyday to remind myself that I have horrible taste in people, and I should not seek to go back down that road by entering another relationship, till I fix that broken part of me. I love the world an.........

 Congrats to those few of you who have read this. This is as open and honest as I have ever been. A small glimpse into the fight and struggle of being me. Know this though, I will never bow down or give up my fight. I will never stop laughing and smiling, until the day my light goes out, and my next adventure begins. To the maker of this request: do send your next challenge, this one was very eye opening and I am...... intrigued....

SomonesSoulmate

   Boundaries are so important. I know you've heard this term a thousand times and are sure you have implemented them, but do you really understand what they are about? Think about a time when you have felt uncomfortable in a situation. Someone did something that affected you physically, mentally, or emotionally. How did you address it? This is what boundaries are all about. You create, establish, and maintain a rule, that helps make you feel safe in an uncomfortable situation. The best example to clarify this would be pointing to hard and soft limits. Boundaries are created to make sure you feel safe, comfortable, and cared for. They are created to avoid uncomfortable situations that may put you out of your element. Hard and soft limits in BDSM can very much be associated with boundaries. However, BDSM is not the only area of our lives to have boundaries for.

     For example, someone sits next to you on a subway train. They slowly start to scoot closer, and closer, even though there is clearly space on the other side of them. What do you do? Set a boundary. " Excuse me, you are making me very uncomfortable and I would appreciate it if you would move back over, and stop moving so close to me. " This is setting a boundary for them as well as giving them the why behind it. It also allows them to respond. If they react negatively and refuse to comply remove yourself from the situation and away from them.

     A relationship example: You just came home from a hard day at work, you enter the kitchen and immediately your spouse/partner begins to say things like why is the kitchen a mess, why is the house not clean, you look fat in that outfit..... The boundary setting for this scenario would include something like, " I understand that you are upset, but I just got off work and would like time to compose myself before we discuss the house and anything that needs to be done. I do not feel comfortable with you pointing out or making negative statements about my appearance, so please refrain from doing so." You are asking not to be confronted immediately with problems after work, you could probably clarify with something like work stresses me out I need time to decompress or I have a lot on my plate at work, and need time to wind down and de-stress. You're letting them know that they should not be making negative statements about the way you look and the why behind it. 

    Boundaries should always be respected, and adhered to. Just like someone adhering to your hard and soft limits, what you say goes. If a person does not respect your boundaries it is an immediate red flag, and you should respond by doing what is best for you in that situation. It may or may not involve actions like blocking them, leaving, or filing with the legal system after repeated offenses. Boundaries can be confusing, but they are important because they keep you safe. Below I have included a link to a video that can help clarify boundaries better than I have here. 

    From a young age I understood things that most adults took years to comprehend. I learned early probably because of all the trauma I had to watch myself and others go through. The hardest thing for me to ever understand is that sometimes, bad people hurt really good people. What's even harder is watching someone you love and care about hold on to that pain for years to come.

   My sister was one such person. I raised her with my mom. When my mom couldn't be there I always was, until one day I began my own journey. When I would always visit or check in with my sister she was so happy and ready to face life, then one day she met a boy, and everything changed. I watched this beautiful bright treasure turn into this wilted mess of what she once was. When he left the picture I saw a part of her come back, but there was also a new part that came with her. My baby sister was no longer the same.

     It can be said that most people are never the same after going through something like she did. For many this is true. Well, I watched until I couldn't watch anymore. Then one day, at a family get together, I pulled her aside and asked her to come with me. She did, and I took her to one of my favorite spots. A little oasis untouched by the outside world yet. It had a creek that went for miles, with branches that magically bowed over a small walking path along side it, providing much needed relief from the blazing heat of the day. The sound of the water bubbling gently over the rocks was soothing and relaxing. The vibrant greens, and vivid colors of the flowers made for delights to the senses. I sat her down , made her face me looked her square in the eye, and told her, " ash ma cash I love you with my whole heart, and I hate seeing the bitterness darkening your eyes. I know what you have been through. I have been there myself , but babes you got to let it go." 

   When I tell you the waterworks came they came, but I didn't intervene, because this release was exactly what I wanted from her. With the waterworks came all the rage she had been holding back, she screamed and yelled, first at me, then at the horror of what her life had been. She raged and cried , and yelled until she couldn't anymore. When she had finally let all the rage out, all that was left was an exhausted little sister who was bone weary and tired. I moved close and just hugged her to me, and while silent tears tracked down her cheeks I reminded her, that sometimes we have to go through bad things to be reminded of the good things in our lives.

   I also said I knew this was something she didn't want to hear at the time, but she was going to hear it all the same. Sometimes we have to cry and scream and rage at the cruelty and injustice we face, we have to because we have to let it out. Keeping it inside changes us and makes us bitter, and we loose all that innocence that keeps us beautiful. Places like this, are safe places to do just that. It was why I had brought her there. To help her let go. I also reminded her that its ok to cry and to feel, that is normal. Its how we release the pressures of this world so we can just breath again.  Its ok to hate someone for a little while, its definitely ok to never forget, but don't let the pain from those moment hold on to you. You hold it for a moment and then let it be. Forgive yourself, forgive them, but remember the lesson as you move forward. 

   I don't know if my sister still visits that same spot, but I do know that later in life when I became a bitter person, it was her turn to pull me aside and remind me of the same lesson I had imparted on her, while showing me a few new things a long the way, like meditation and selfcare. I found me again, and learned so much more about myself along the way. I found peace, and happiness, and love from those surrounding me. You don't need anyone by your side to be happy, but what you do need is inner peace and self love. I hope that the authors of all these posts of pain and sorrow, can someday go to their own safe spots, and let all the rage and hurt inside out. Just scream and cry until you can't anymore, and then take a deep breath, forgive, remember the lesson, and move on with your life. Love and hope are still very much yours for the taking.

Its easier said than done I know, but I promise you all, that it is so very worth it when you finally do. All my love to you.

SomonesSoulmate

 It amazes me to which the degree some people will go. Even old men who claim to be mature and a Dom for many years. I won't name names cause honestly I could care less, but to all my submissives out there do be careful.

     Recently someone approached me portraying the want of friendship. I obliged cause I know what it is like to not have any friends and I enjoyed the things he had to say at the time. Well... said older gentleman and I had a lovely conversation. At first. Then he asked how I expected to find my soulmate with no picture. He already knew I wouldn't send one but he asked anyway. he had said so in the message if your wondering how I knew he knew. Anyway, after that and explaining why I wasn't worried about actually finding my soulmate, he insisted that I wasn't being honest with myself. 

 -Cue eye roll- Oh darling I have had people try to manipulate me before ,and mind games never work with me. Then he went on to state that I was to send him nudes of myself and open myself up to him fully and lay my life bare, as if it was an honor that he had even offered. 

   So I politely but firmly told him I was honest and open about myself, and that I had no need of a mentor but thank you all the same, to which he replied well said and then blocked me. I couldn't help but chuckle at the childishness of his reaction. So ladies do be careful of those who say they would like to be friends and then try to manipulate your into more than you want. I have seen it a lot but , just because I know what to look for and what to avoid doesn't mean others do as well. 

 On another note, I tired to make a friend of my own yesterday, but was told based on my profile that  we wouldn't get a long. So I ask the question, is there something wrong with my profile? Am I approaching people to find a friend the wrong way? While I don't want a relationship, I would like a friend that I could cut up and laugh with who is probably just as dirty minded and full of adventure as I am. Guy or girl. So could someone give me advice on this? I might be rusty as I have not had any friends since my high school days.

  Tonight I found myself getting up at 6pm to get ready for my 3rd shift duties. I sighed and grumbled a bit as most everyone does, but my mind had echoes of the past running through it. The sound of distant laughter and little feet echoed in the silence of my empty home. I sighed heavily at this. It was not how I wanted to begin my day. So me being me, I turned on my blue tooth speaker and let music from the oldies blare through my house. Instantly those echoes seemed to fade and a light joy once again entered my heart. 

  I laughed and danced around the kitchen , arcadia right beside me eager and ready to join in as she jumped up and down. Together we created our own found memories of laughter and joy to fill the house. Of course she was rewarded with her own plate of food, after it was all said and done, and I took the time to bask in the joy of the moment. As I slowed down to pack my meal for work I took time to think about the dreams and thoughts that had brought echoes of the past. It was true my house was utterly empty. It had furniture and nick knacks, much like any woman's house, but what had caused the stir? Probably the pictures of my boys still hanging on the walls around me. I of course stubborn as a mule will probably never take them down. Happy memories are better than no memories at all. I smiled realizing that was all it was.

   A ache of the past, that I had learned to move forward with. Sometimes in life, when echoes of the past come calling we have to stop , and change the pace to something we can roll with. Whether its dancing around your kitchen to oldies, with your best friend who is a fur baby, or taking time to meditate and walk your small but beautiful garden. Those little moments matter. Its what brings us back to the present and away from the pain. Its how we stop living in the past and begin living in the present.

    It is only natural that we sometimes revisit the past. After all we did learn valuable lessons from it, and create happy memories with it. That doesn't mean we linger there. Let those memories come, and then let them go. Remember to breathe and stay grounded in the present. Depression can often stem  from thoughts of the past, by doing nothing we stay in that state of mind. Its up to ourselves to choose happiness. I think perhaps that is why self care and self love are so important. I can hate myself or I can love myself. Its a choice every time. Nothing is ever truly locked within us. 

 To all my friends in this world, take time to breathe and do something you love, never stay in the past, sometimes there can only be sorrow and heartache there. Instead embrace yourself, and learn to slowly open up. Self love and self care are no simple journey. They take time, patience, and understanding. Yes, you made choices, yes you made mistakes, but learning to forgive yourself is so important in those moments. Own it, and then let it go, and remember the lessons you took away from it. Then do something spontaneous that will have you laughing, and going back to the you,  you once were. Life is only bad when we let it run us over. We are in control in this life, and while we can't change fate ,  we can change our destinies to suit our purposes and needs. Much love my friends.

SomeonesSoulmate

  Vanessa inhaled sharply, trying again to calm her temper. She took her mind back to a place of lessons from her Dom. She could do this. She could focus, " AND ANOTHER THING!...." she tuned out her boss's yelling voice again. The woman was absolutely going to drive her up the wall. One, she hadn't even researched what had happened leading up to the other associate's accident, she was just jumping to conclusions. Two, she was accusing vanessa of being the cause, when she had not even been near the employee at the time. Her Dom would tell her to defend herself in this situation, to take a stand against the accusations. He was going to be upset, she was quite sure, when he found out she just stood there and took it. Being he was the owner of the company she worked for, she felt like he was going to walk u...... Her eyes lifted, and a hint of "oh shit" filled her mind. One minute he wasn't there and the next he was. Brilliant......

She let out a sigh of frustration, which started her boss on a whole other tirade. " Are you even listening to me?"

    Vanessa looked over her bosses shoulder to her Dom's face, who currently stared at her with a raised eyebrow, willing her to say something. Vanessa bit her lip, looking back at her boss "erm, yes?"

     "Yes? Yes! You haven't heard a thing I have said , have you? You are utterly uselss! Why are you even here!" vanessa was sure at this point the whole building could hear her boss's screeching. She sucked in a breath when her Dom cleared his throat! Vanessa watched as Dianna whipped around, her whole demeanor changing.

Her bosses voice suddenly changed from shrieking banshee to full on seductive, "Chairman what an ..unexpected surprise.. I was just.." 

     " I am well aware of what you were just doing, as is I'm sure the whole company. Might I remind you that your position within this company is tenuis at best. There are others who are more capable and certainly more qualified to handle these matters. Others who would not be yelling at an employee who was not even at fault in this situation."

His eyes lifted and moved to Vanessa, " Miss Darnell." his tone gentled but had a hint of disappointment as he directed his attention to her.

    " Yes Sir?" vanessa swallowed, feeling her bottom heat even though she knew he hadn't even touched her yet. He didn't have to , she new what was coming later. 

    " I suggest you get back to your desk , and return to your duties. Vanessa listened to the tone of his voice and nothing else. Oh she was in for it later. Even though he sounded completely calm to those around him, the infliction of his tone and the stiffness of his body language told her, and her alone, that he was furious, not only at her boss Dianna, but at her for not sticking up for herself once again.

    "Yes Sir, right away" Vanessa took the opportunity to escape and ran with it. Dianna had been a thorn in her side for years. Hers, and many others. Mostly hers because she new Dianna wanted chairman Marcus for herself. No one within the company new that Marcus was her Dom. No, they kept their life very private, and never let on any different. They left work at different times, they drove different cars, and they worked on different levels. All to make sure their life at home never touched their life at work.

Later that night.....

  Vanessa sighed as she finally shut off her work lamp and turned to grab her bag and keys. Maybe she could work her way out of this one. She could come up with a convincing argument, explain why she didn't stand up to Dianna this time. yes, her Dom was reasonable he would understand she was sure. She had never been the stand up type anyway. She sighed as she walked  entering the elevator that would take her down to the parking area. It was late. The sun well past setting. She was procrastinating. She was avoiding the unavoidable. Fuck , there was no out for this. She groaned. By staying at work late, she knew that he knew, she was only trying to avoid what was coming. The phantom burning started again. Her thighs and backside lit up. Her body knew, but she was steadily more objecting to the acceptance of her coming punishment. She slid into her car, and started on her way,  only to jump and slam on the brakes, when her phone began to ring.

" Dammit! " she swallowed and froze as she saw the ID. Picking up the phone she answered and held it to her ear. 

Marcus's deep tone filled the other side, " I'm waiting"

  The line disconnected , and she let the phone down slowly, her pupils dilating. Yeah, she was in for it. Vanessa took her time driving home, her heart rate increasing ever mile that she came closer to the house. Every mile new thoughts of what was to come filling her mind. This was part of the thrill , part of the excitement. Marcus would never hurt her or take things to far, all she had to do was use her safe words, and it would all end. She knew she needed this. New he was only trying to help build her up, help her find her inner Goddess. Still it did nothing to slow her heart rate, or even calm her nervous agitation. She parked, looking up at the red door in front of her. Taking a breath she slid out of the front seat, and closed the door quietly behind her. Entering the house, she began to remove her shoes padding quietly down the entryway, and into the living room. Her eyes drank in the sight before her. Marcus was still in his suit, the tie loosened, and the collar undone. A snifter of brandy sat in his hand which he rested on the arm of the chaise. His dark hair was a bit messy, but somehow still neat. Her breath stopped as he lifted his icy eyes to look at her. He said nothing only pointed to the ground in front of him. She moved quickly kneeling at his feet her eyes downcast to the floor. He waited, slowly finishing his drink before setting it down non to gently. Vanessa swallowed hard, only to feel his hand cupping her cheek and lifting her eyes to meet his.

    "Baby girl, what has been my number one lesson with you of late?" Marcus's tone was deceptively calm, and gentle. Vanessa's mind raced. even as she already knew the answer, she still stuttered through it. " To..to stand up for myself..Sir"

  He let out a heavy sigh his hand falling. " It seems my lessons have not been sinking in. I thought perhaps, you may have just forgotten, that my prescence would boost your courage in standing up to that woman, if she can be called that. Yet, it did nothing. YOU did nothing. Baby girl..... I am disappointed in you." Vanessa hissed, her heart aching. He didn't say it often. he didn't have to Vanessa was meticulous in not disappointing her Dom. She hated hearing he was disappointed in her. It was something she never wanted to happen. It was like being beaten down without being beaten down. A tear slipped down her cheek. He turned seeing the falling of the tear, and sighed. He bent down before her lifting her chin to force her gaze to meet his.

  " What happens next is because I love you, and want you to shine. Our world of business is a cruel one, and if you cannot strengthen your own courage and learn to stand up for yourself, you will only fall. That is something I will never allow. This lesson will be harder than the others, but when it is done, know that my love for you will only grow and continue. Afterward if you are up to it, we will discuss what happened in length today. Is that understood?"

Vanessa stared at him quietly for a minute before answering softly, " Yes Sir" 

     At his nod she stood, and began to make her way down the hallway off to the left,  shedding her clothes as she went. Once she was naked and standing before the large black door, she stood quietly her head bowed until he unlocked the door and opened it. Moving ahead of him she entered the room, and moved towards the bench in front of her. The back lay low and flat like a small table that connected to the front platform which was higher. Both had a flat cushion on top covered in black leather. Four cuffs were linked to each of the four corners. Her ankles would be locked down, but spread apart in a kneeling position while her upper body would be flat and splayed across the top platform with her arms stretched out and held down by the other two cuffs preventing her from rising, during punishments. 

   She moved quietly into position, and watched with dread as he began locking her in place. Her heart started racing again. This was the moment she was dreading. The feel of the sting to come. Her eyes moved over to the table to where his instruments for this session lay, and she almost panicked. There laying on the surface was a cane pole. The one thing she hated more than anything else. The one tool she knew he reserved for her most severe infractions. This was how she knew he was really disappointed. Her wide eyes lifted to his as he stared down at her, gaging her reaction.         

" What are your safe words?" he asked firmly

" Stuffies to slow down, teal to stop Sir" his hand caressed her cheek, as he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. " good girl." Walking over he grabbed a blind fold, and placed it over her eyes, tying it gently in the back.

  " I want you to feel this lesson more than anything, and hear the words I am saying to you. this blindfold will ensure that you can only focus on those two things, and not on anything else. This is not a lesson in pleasure, this is a lesson in learning to stand up for yourself when you need to the most."

Vanessa's hands grabbed the sides up the upper platform, her body tensing automatically as he moved away. Her breathing increased, as she felt him move back behind her, only to flinch as the cane suddenly touched her skin gently.

   " Shhhhhh, baby girl. "She felt his hand smooth down her body slowly. " take a deep breath and breath out slowly for me."

  Vanessa complied feeling most of the tension leave her body. His lips landed next to her ear. His voice whispering out to her, drawing her in with its mesmerizing deep tone.

  " You need this, this is a lesson and a punishment. You are so capable of becoming the lioness I know you to be. I see it, now I just need to draw her out. Tomorrow the sting of these swats will be a reminder to you, to face the dragon head on and slay the beast. The burn will make you sit tall and with pride. The reminder will keep you on the playing field for a long time to come. This can end at any time all you have to do is say your safe word. Do you understand?" Marcus's hand kept moving over her body soothingly.

  " I'm waiting baby girl"

    Vanessa let out a breath, " yes Sir"

 " You will receive twenty strikes. You will count each and every one. Failure to do so will add more. Is that understood?"

 "ye..yes Sir" twenty strikes? she had never received that many before, could she even handle this? She lay her head on the platform closing her eyes. She needed this, she wanted to be strong , to defend herself. She just needed the courage to be able to. Taking a sturdy breath, she whispered quietly, " I am ready Sir" 

  The first swat came hard and heavy, she felt the impact a second or two before the intense burn began. She inhaled a whimper leaving her. " One Sir" the next three came consecutively and quickly the fire of each hit licking up the back of her thighs and ass. " two..three, four, Sir!" her hands gripped the sides harder, her body trembling at the pain. The burn was intense and unreal. This is why he only used the cane as a last resort. This was his fifth time on this lesson, she reminded herself. She had pushed him to this point. So now he was ensuring she remembered it. Another swat, this one as hard as the first, tears burned behind her eyes lids and a small cry went out from between her lips. " I'm sorry Sir, I will do better. Please I've had enough."

 He stopped and she flinched as his hands began to slide across the welts she was sure were currently marking her flesh, and he spoke in a firm but gentle tone, " It is enough when I say it is enough. I do not believe you have learned your lesson yet, and you forgot to count , another will be added." 

  Vanessa inhaled sharply as the next hit came suddenly without warning and she cried out, " five sir!" tears began to flow down her cheeks, the next four hits came quickly and the sobs began, " six.. seven, eight, ni..ne." she was only at nine, she couldn't do this. She still had twelve to go. She hated the cane, hated the pain.

    She felt his hand lift her head. " are you with me baby girl, do you need to use your safe word? Were halfway there, Can you take the rest or do we stop the lesson now.?" his voice was gentle no reprimand to be found, only a tone of encouragement to continue, but a hint of understanding if she couldn't.

   Vanessa buried her face into his hand seeking comfort for a moment. This was  a lesson that she would not soon forget. it was hard, but she understood why it was necessary. Losing her job, because she wasn't brave enough to stand up for herself could do so much more damage, than the pain of this lesson. A sob escaped her lips, and she lifted her head, " I want to co...con..tinue" the next five strikes came making her scream out as the pain flared harder and brighter, she struggled to count, " ten...el..eleven tweelve thirteen FOURTEEN!"

 She was full on ugly crying now. There was nothing beautiful about the mess she was creating. Three more strikes, three more words leaving her lips. Three more burning welts. His hand touched her burning flesh making her sob, as he soothed the fire that seemed to be never ending. She laid her head down. Tears streamed freely, sobs made her shoulders shake, and once again the strikes came. Four more in quick succession. She screamed again, her body arching and then collapsing in broken sobs.

   She couldn't take anymore, how many more did she have to go, she forgot to count, did that mean he would add more, she just lay there, waiting for the next strikes. None came, instead she felt her Dom undoing her cuffs, words coming from him that sounded far away, she felt something warm surrounding her and suddenly found herself scooped up in his arms, his hands rubbing up and down her arms as he sat her over his lap on her stomach. His words began to penetrate slowly, as she calmed down.

  " Such a good girl, I'm so proud of you for taking your punishment." She hissed as something cold touched the welts on her legs and backside, he was rubbing an ointment onto her marks to help soothe and heal them faster. More soothing words, " My girl is so brave, so determined. Were finished now it ok you can breath. IM so sorry we had to do this, but I need you to see how strong you are, how capable you are." She let out a shuddering breath and relaxed across his lap, letting his voice soothe her mind, as she soaked in the lesson she has just endured. There was no way she wanted to repeat this.

     She would have to do something next time. She felt herself being lifted and the blanket being tucked around her more, as he pulled her up and against his chest, pushing her head to his should. She hissed as her bottom made contact with his legs, but quieted quickly, as the pain was minimal, and not as intense as it had been. He began to rock her back and forth slowly and still talking to her. Telling her how much he loved her and only wanted what was best for her. Reminding her that she was strong, beautiful, and courageous. She inhaled as she felt felt the stirrings of desire begin to rise suddenly. Her body heated, her thighs clenching. This is how it always happened after a punishment. Her body sucked in the pain and then demanded release through orgasm. The more the pain ebbed the more she felt the ache.

   She moaned as she felt her Dom's hand move across her body softly. Then stiffened, when she heard a chuckle come from him.

   " I should have known. Nothing keeps my baby girl down for long. Even a session as intense as this one. Unfortunately baby girl, you will not be allowed to cum tonight. I will not torture you further, by adding to your desires, but this lesson you will take in on your own.  Keeping her tucked close to his chest he carried her to their bedroom and laid her down. She whimpered as he moved away thinking he was going to leave her alone tonight as well, but calmed when she realized he was only getting undressed.

   He slid in behind her once more, and pulled her back against his chest propping his arm under her head. She turned tucking her face against his chest and curling into his side. " I love you Sir." her voice was quiet, but she knew he heard her. " I love you to my beautiful, strong baby girl." she smiled and let her eyes close. This lesson had drained her. She was exhausted, but felt content in the knowledge that she had done her part and taken her punishment.

The Next Morning..

   Vanessa had awoken that morning with a reminder of her lesson last night, as she felt the burn on her backside when she moved to sit up. She looked over to find breakfast on a tray beside her with a single rose in a glass, and a note tied to it

  Today you will stand with courage, and face down your dragon head on. I will be watching baby girl. 

 -Marcus-

 She smiled. He was already gone for the day. She should be leaving soon as well if she wanted to arrive on time. Eating quickly Vanessa , put the tray away, and got dressed. Heading out the door she locked up and made for her car. The drive wasn't long, but traffic was terrible, so when she arrived she was late, and who should be waiting by her cubicle staring at their watch? Dianna the resident dragon. 

  " Look who finally decided to show up." Dianna's tone as usual was snarky and condescending.

   Vanessa ignored her taking a seat only to stand back up as she felt the burning of the welts on her backside. She looked over at the dragon as she continued on her tirade. Sighing in frustration, her eyes turned icy. Dianna halted for a moment seeing the look on vanessa's face , only to smirk suddenly, " What is there something you wanted to say little vanessa, don't like what I have to say? Well to bad, the chairman isn't here to save you this time." 

    Vanessa felt her ire grow at her boss's words, and with the burning from her lesson still prominent, she finally let loose all she had been holding back. In a deadly calm tone, that did not require screeching as her boss, so often did, she began to speak.

  " First of all I don't need the chairman to do anything for me. The way you treat everyone around here like they are beneath you, and with no respect is reason enough for him to have to step in. You are incompetent and incapable of doing your own work. Instead you push it off on everyone else. You are overconfident, and easily replaceable. You forget that this company runs as a team, and YOU are no team player. You complain about everyone else, to everyone else, and single me out almost everyday. Everyone here knows you have a crush on the chairman , and that his attention to me, is what makes you single me out more than others. the fact that you can let your jealousy rule your emotions, says you are unfit for this position. "

 Vanessa straightens her spine and takes a step closer, " I plan to write out a letter of petition against you to the chairman to have you removed, detailing why you are unfit for this position and should be replaced, as well as getting statements of affirmation from everyone else in this room that you have harassed or belittled. Which I am quite sure they would only be to happy to give, and one more thing"

  She leans close so that only Dianna can hear her . " No one, especially the chairman would ever stoop so low as to sleep with someone of your demeanor. Cruelty, begets cruelty, and your luck has just run out."

 Stepping back Vanessa let a smile of cool indifference fall over her features as she stated quietly but calmly, " Now if you will excuse me I have work to do, unlike you." 

Marcus

     Marcus felt a smile curve his lips, as he stood around the corner listening in and watching the whole fiasco go down. He knew how Dianna was, knew Vanessa would be late, and knew this was going to happen. He couldn't be more proud of his baby girl in that moment. She had finally done what he always knew her to be capable of. Not only that, but she had remained calmed and composed the whole time, her voice never raising to shouting level. He had not expected that last part, but it only made him love her all the more for it. Now it was his turn to step in.

 " You have absolutely no right to speak to me that way , how dare you!"  Dianna was once again screeching, it her nails on chalk board way. He snorted as he walked up behind the awful woman.

 " Actually she has every right Mrs. Daniels. Your behavior this past week has been monitored by myself and several other trusted people on my payroll, and as such, the reports and my own observations have led me to the decision of you no longer being an employee here. Feel free to pack your belongings, as security will be here in five minutes to escort you out, with or without them. Do not bother to file for unemployment, as I already have my lawyers working on a case against you should you decide to pursue that route. I have also informed all associate companies and those we do business with about your behavior, so I would also advise against trying to get a job in this area. You are one of our worst employees. I have never seen such unprofessionalism in my lifetime. Also, your lack of hiding your obvious interest in me and other men of this company borders on harassment. Which I was only to happy to fill your husband in on, the day he came to see me. I suggest you take lessons from Miss Darnell going forward, on how to act like a lady in a business environment. I have a meeting to be at in ten minute, good bye Mrs. Daniels."

  He turned walking away from her a smile of satisfaction curving his lips as he entered the elevator . He shouldn't take such satisfaction in what had just happened, but he did . He had probably also kept the dragon on longer than he should have, but he had also been using her to help teach his baby girl who had done him proud today. Tonight her reward would be unmatchable. He had already started planning out just how he would reward her. Pleasure was something he specialized in, but dinner at her favorite restaurant would be the start. 

 Such a good girl, and she was all his. He smiled reaching down to pull the velvet box out of his pocket. Opening it up he stared at the object inside. It suited her perfectly. Tonight,  after such a magnificent triumph on her part, would be the perfect night to pop the question to her.

   He moved to the window in his office and stared down at her in her cubicle. The shinning of the diamond necklace surrounding her neck caught in the light as she moved, bringing a smile of satisfaction to his face. To others the necklace was just jewelry, but to them it meant so much more. It was a mark of trust given with her submission for him, and a mark of ] ownership and love for her.

   His eyes caught hers briefly as she sent a smile his way. A smile that conveyed so much in the brief moment she bestowed it on him. The next she was back to her work. A chuckle escaped him as he shook his head turning back towards his desk. Yes, the lesson had finally sank in, and they were ready to move forward. She was ready.

Tonight, would definitely be a night to remember for years to come.

     A very intriguing question, from a new friend. I have no pictures on my profile as most of you have probably noticed by now. Mostly, that is because I would rather people know me as a person and not my looks. Often times judgements whether intentional or not arise from seeing someone's photo. This can cause people to turn away before they truly even get to know someone. Also the fact that I am not here looking for my soulmate or even a relationship adds to that fact. 

     In all honesty whether or not fate deems me worthy of bringing me and my soulmate together is entirely up to fate. Honestly it doesn't change me one way or the other. Yes, it would be wonderful to be brought together, but my life is wonderful either way. I have arcadia my fur baby, my family, a career, and soon a degree. I live everyday to the fullest, I strive to keep my life in order, but sometimes, I let the order go and just laugh and goof off. What more could I possibly need. I once read somewhere that if your depressed your living in the past, if your anxious your living in the future, but if you are content and happy you are living in the present. Since reading that, that is how I have strived to live. In the present and nothing more. yes I plan my bills out, and make plans for things that need to be done, but I do not linger there.

     Soulmate or no soulmate I am still going to be me, my life may change a little , but not significantly. If they are my soulmate, then they won't need a picture , words will be enough. I will be enough as I am. Pictures for a long time in the past didn't even exist. People got by without electronics or vehicles. People found love without pictures or the internet. I believe that same thing is still possible today. Some of us have just gotten a little lost along the way.

So, how do I expect to find my soul mate with just words, the answer? 

I don't, because I don't need to. Whatever happens will happen, and I will continue to live my life happy and unafraid. Full of hope, love, and laughter.

     I am not a complicated person. at least I would like to believe that. Yet somehow, despite what my profile says others still seek to pull me into a dynamic. Could it be that some cannot comprehend beyond the sexual point of a dynamic, and just want a chance to slide into another's pants to fulfill their own selfish needs and desires? Hmm, am I being a bit to crass? Perhaps, but one could understand my frustrations at having my wants completely ignored. 

     I will not be cowed into changing my inbox to members only. No , but I might warn those around me that you will quickly find yourselves blocked should you seek to continue messaging me with offers of submission, relationships, and sexual innuendos. At the very top of my profile in parentheses it clearly states I AM NOT INTERESTED IN A RELATIONSHIP AT THIS TIME. Therefore, the conclusion can be drawn that approaching me with letters of (do you seek submission, you should serve me, worship me, I can make all your fantasies come true) would be highly disadvantageous for you.

     If one were to seek out my attention, the smart thing to do would be to approach me with an intellectual conversation to garner my attention. I may not be interested in a relationship at this time, but that does not mean it may not change in the future. Garnering my favor with conversations that do NOT involve sex would be a start. Working your way up the ladder in my regards would be the next step. I may be submissive, but I also have Domme tendencies, and my affections are not easily obtained. One would also take into consideration, distance, time, effort, and money. I say money because I do not waste any of my money, it is carefully laid out and planned so that it is spent wisely and not foolishly. Being a boss means time management, communications skills, as well as smart planning financially. I may be a woman full of love and laughter, but I am also an intelligent woman who knows exactly what she wants out of life.

     I cannot abide a man who approaches me with the telling me how I will be a good submissive, or how they will treat me in the bedroom. For me submission is an act of love, and to love you first have to know a person. To know that person you have to gain their attention. Much like in the old days, a man would approach a woman with words of wisdom and charm, and not of sexual innuendos and lust. My my how the mighty hath fallen in this day and age, that a person can not simply use their intelligence to gain a man or woman's attention instead of their inability to control their lust.

     Oh, I am quite aware of how some will take this post. Quite aware of the ire it might incur. Yes, I do realize this is a bdsm website, but it could also be said this is also a place for people to connect and interact about the world surrounding them, not just to hookup or date. A combination of the two , well balanced is what the creators were really trying to accomplish I am sure. Class and intelligence is not a high request. It is a reasonable one that shows respect to those with whom you are speaking too. -heavy sigh-