This song is so passionate. The raw emotion. It gives me chills. It expresses the desperate fear of losing that special love. It resonates with my thoughts lately. You can't comprehend that fear until you realize you have something that special. This tracks on repeat as I dance around the house in pajamas on a relaxing Saturday.
If you only ever listen to one song I post, let it be this one.
Random Ramblings. IYKYK.
Even kittens can RAWR.
Why do people underestimate others? And assume they're better. That's such a mistake. Its so presumptuous. Put your judge-y self away and open those eyes.
Being a submissive doesn't mean you are timid and weak.
Being 'young' doesnt mean that you are inexperienced or dumb and have nothing to offer.
Being a Dom doesnt mean you can't have emotions or admit weakness & faults.
I could go on and on.
Every single person still has things to learn and improve upon.
Life is the ultimate school. Class never ends. Until you leave this earth 🌎
And how we each live and interpret life is extremely different. Not right or wrong. Just different. ♡
Enjoy the cute kitties 💜💕
I've been thinking about my father lately.
He was not a great parent. He was selfish in too many ways. He did some horrible things, and I won't glorify him just because he's gone. But he's the only father I had.
One of my favorite memories of my Dad came back to me today. When I was growing up, I lived in a house, not a home. It wasn't warm and inviting. Everything had to be perfect at all times, even me. The house had to be kept pristine. In the formal dining room and living room, there was plush white carpet. It was so thick that I could easily see my footprints when I walked on it. But we were never allowed to step there, or God forbid we sit on that furniture.
One evening, when my mother was out, Dad allowed my little sister and I to run around on that carpet. He let us mess it all up with chaotic marks and toe prints everywhere. I danced, I twirled, and I did cartwheels. My Dad even ran a couple loops with us and acted silly. I remember feeling so happy at that moment, so free. Then he sent us to get ready for bed while he got out the vacuum to place all the carpet back into the perfect position.
It was our little secret for weeks. ♡
It's already been one of those days. And it's not even noon.
It's penguin weather again @ -30C. I dont really wanna talk about the weather though.
And my post got suspended and appeal denied. But alright.
I am oh so grateful to be making friends with submissives from the community & being part of something uplifting. It all makes a difference.
I think I need music to get through today.
Mr Amor sent out a challenge. Cuz we all love some sexy hump day gifs ♡ 🔥
https://www.sex.com/pin/60945593
https://www.sex.com/pin/53688706-peta-jensen
http://www.sex.com/pin/56255060/
http://www.sex.com/pin/64459097-penetration/
I'm stuck in the middle of this polar vortex. I just recieved an Emergency Alert on my phone. My province of Alberta (Canada) has been placed under a Critical Civil Emergency. The extreme cold has placed the power grid at high risk and they will be doing rotating power outages.
I think I've prepared in all the ways I can. I've never seen weather so cold. They are predicting -74F/-58C with the windchill tonight. Ummmm. What the actual flying fish sticks is going on.
I've stockpiled blankets, am charging battery banks and devices. Checked flashlight batteries, put candles in the rooms. Closed doors to rooms I don't use. Turned off most of the lights. I have an extra stack of warm clothes and socks on my dresser in case I need to layer up. And filled my bathtubs with emergency water. Did i forget anything?
What's your temperature? How are you handling the cold (if it's effecting you)? This is crazy & scary. 🥶🥶🥶
Recently, a couple of "Doms" on this site used some personal details of my past to their advantage. These details were in my blog posts. One tried to manipulate me into a conversation and false sense of security by giving medical advice. He wanted to "help me" while suggesting meds and illegal drugs to try without knowing anything about me or my medical history. That doesn't really sound like a doctor to me. I think that after 30+ mails to me to try and initiate a conversation that he got creative and came up with a new approach. Why would I take medical advice from a stranger on the internet who has consistently disrespected my boundaries after i said multiple times I wasn't interested?!
The other one used some information just to be a cruel person and harass me. Despite being asked to leave me alone and not contact me, he continues to act childish and bitter.
Both have now been blocked.
But it really made me question if being honest and vulnerable in my blog is worth it. I felt so conflicted. I felt like my privacy had been invaded. I dont even think I can feel that way when I, in fact, did write it, post it, and make it public.
I'm struggling with my words and self doubt about this. Do i even make this post? Should I not give them any more attention than I already have? Kind of like 'Dont Feed the Trolls'. Or do I ignore them and post what I want because they hold no influence over me.
It's a difficult decision
I made a promise to myself, and I broke it. I vowed that I would never feel unsafe again. That no one would ever hurt me again. Looking back, I realize it was a naive promise. I have a top of the line home security system with cameras, motion sensors, and glass sensors. I have multiple panic buttons and a live monitoring station. When I go out to places, I automatically check where the entrances and exits are. I don't like my back turned to the people walking by. But sometimes things are just out of our control, and there's nothing we can do to stop it.
I work as a corporate store manager for a telecommunications store. It shouldn't be a high-risk job, but I could shock you with stories. Since I'm the manager, it is ultimately my responsibility to keep my employees safe. I have various courses in how to deal with high-risk or violent situations as well as on de-escalation techniques. But sometimes that doesn't matter. And I hate to say it, but facts are a lot of aggressive incidents I deal with are due to being a female and my age.
In early 2022, a customer assaulted me at work. He returned to my store after being refused service for no photo ID. Because I had verified that he could not access his phone account, in his eyes, I was to blame. He vaulted over the counter onto me and knocked me down to the ground. He then started punching me in the face and head. When my staff started screaming and a crowd was forming, he quickly fled the scene. He was tracked down, arrested, and received a restraining order.
I suffered a concussion and started having migraines that I still have issues with now. I had extreme anxiety to go out in public places, especially malls or crowds. I attended 6 months of a Brain Injury Rehabilitation program because I was having multi-tasking problems, fumbling for words and short-term memory loss. I recovered fully, and my cognitive functions are back to normal. I attended physiotherapy for months because of neck difficulties and vertigo. The assault aggravated my PTSD and my nightmares grew worse for months because my sense of safety had been shattered. I felt like being safe was an illusion, and I still do.
I had to testify in court for the crown prosecutor. My attacker sat and stared at me the whole time. I dug my nails so hard into the palms of my hands until the pain centred me. During cross examination by his lawyer, they referred to it as an "accident." Then the judge asked me some questions and referred to it as an "accident." You see, the defense was that the defendant was Two-Spirited. This is part of the LGBTQ2 spectrum. He is Indigenous and felt he has a female spirit. Why does this matter for the criminal charges? Because his lawyer claimed he was in a stressful state and it was just an accident.
Now I hate the word accident. It makes me want to scream. I hate that my company shuffled it under a rug and tried to hide it for everyone or just ignore it. And most of all, I hate that he was found "Not Guilty" and received no punishment for his crime.
I choose who I'm submissive to. I choose who gets that vulnerable, feminine, sweet, passionate, and so eager to please side of me. I choose who gets to see inside my heart, soul and innermost thoughts. And I choose whom I want to give up control to. Noone can demand these things. Although every day in my mail, someone actually does.
For me there has to be trust. Maybe because I'm fragile and super glued back together, or maybe I'm just complicated. Theres no instruction booklet for this or a set amount of time. It either happens or it doesn't. You earn my trust by simply being you. You can't manipulate me or berate me or convince me that I have to prove it. Because I don't.
Being a Dominant doesn't automatically qualify you for a sub. And that you roll up and take ownership of her like a new car. Just like a Dom doesn't accept every sub that has a conversation with him. Be choosy. Be patient. Find that special spark that gives your soul shivers and leaves a smile on your face.
If I'm more dominant than you.... its not going to happen. Ever. No offense meant to you. I am positive there are many types of Dominants and submissives. And that's alright. Not everyone is going to be a good fit.
"You will naturally be submissive to a man that you trust to lead, even if you're an alpha female."
《 《 《 Facts.
A new chapter is about to start. Three hundred and sixty six empty pages are just waiting to be filled. How that happens is up to you. Sometimes life seems out of control and we are just along for the roller-coaster ride. But at the end of the day when we close our eyes, how we see that day is within our control. And if we can find the good moments and silver lining always, then we are on our way.
New Years Eve has always been my favorite holiday. The possibilities are endless. A whole new year is about to start that has never happened before.
Let's be kind. Help a stranger. Take risks. Laugh until it hurts. Love even harder. Tell your secrets. Compliment someone. Don't leave words unsaid. Look at the stars. Bask in the sunshine. Try something new. And have a lot of kinky, passionate sex. Every day. ♡