The Culture that has been here all the time

Hello Friends,

How Long Have I Been Kinky?  All my life.

The conventional perspective led me to think I was odd, even perverted because I was adventurous in sexual matters for as long as I can remember. I concealed my playful desires and hid them from others. Denied they existed. Having a religious family background and again in mid-life didn't help. Odd as it was, my conservative wife got me out of my self-imposed restricted zone (at least in our home). When things changed, and conservative influences diminished, I began to see the "kink light" in me and realized it was bright. So, my mindset has changed, and I have a lot of time to make up for now. Living outwardly with my kinky side coming to the forefront. I hope it isn't too late as I continue to abandon the chains of artificial constraints that made me feel odd in the wrong way, like a deviant. The primary good kinks deliver are they offer and extend the excitement of the first sexual experiences throughout life. Adding or trying a kinky thing is akin to when we had our first sexual experience or close to it.

Hello Friends,

Thoughts and memories of old friends and prior lovers don't amount to much, and for every event or memory, there could be a thousand that are forgotten or vanish in the mist. What counts is "the Now"; living in "the now" is not always easy. The Now is what is really happening. It will become a memory and may have begun as a dream, but it is what is real, not what we imagine about the past filtered by our selective, less-than-objective thinking. Images in our memory do not age; images in our memory morph; good becomes great, and wrong becomes not so bad if remembered at all.

So do not jump to the conclusion that the pasture over the fence is greener than the one you are standing in.

Hello Friends,

Ok, everything seems to be in balance and going along very well when suddenly you see a face in a crowd or a photo, and there you go, falling back in love with a prior flame. Immediately, I fear I will get burned. I never let love turn to hate ( maybe for an instant, then puff, ill feelings are gone), and all I recall is the love we once had. Yes, this may be a weakness of mine. In  39 years of marriage, I had a way of dealing with challenges. Since 2017, my wife's early-onset dementia has had me descend into new territory, and my life has had many unexpected changes. Some reflect the philosophy in me for forty years, and new challenges have evoked deep thought and philosophical revision.

It is like I stepped through a portal and was confronted by a wide vista of new possibilities. Old memories pop up, new memories intrude, and options present themselves in a way that tests my resolve to keep my old self. The one crucial aspect?  I find an array of possible "love" situations, and some sear into my heart and brain as if they have become branded by a hot iron. I move along, thinking nothing happened. "Bam!" I glimpse a face, and the emotion is burning bright once again. Like a deer in the headlights, I am frozen in my tracks. 

Without explanation, I believe specific encounters have morphed from fantasy to as solid as stone, no matter how tenuous and fleeting. What does this mean? What will it evolve to become? It does have some meaning, but what it may or may not become is not known.

Hello Friends,

Yes, happiness is different for different people. My questions today are: Is it elusive? Is it ephemeral? Can it be permanent? Is it a state or just a feeling? 

"People also ask
What defines happiness?
Typically, happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction.Nov 7, 2022"

I am not limited to religious thought, simple contentment, or theoretical philosophical thought. I will explore what may be the very basic thought as I see it.

"Happiness is only partially determined by your genes — the rest is up to you and your environment. The hallmarks of happiness are feeling satisfied, enjoying daily activities, and feeling purposeful.May 18, 2022"

Let us imagine our emotions with respect to happiness like the surface of a body of water: The waves representing moods.

... Lake Titicaca is the largest freshwater lake in South America and the highest of the world's large lakes. ... 3 810 m above sea level . . .

The Dead Sea is the lowest lake in the world. It is located in Israel's Jordan Valley, which is also the lowest elevation point on Earth's surface. The surface of the lake is approximately 1,385 feet (408m) below sea level. U.S. Geological Survey. Land Below Sea Level by David K. Lynch. 2010. Retrieved online at: 

The bottom represents depression, and the tips of surface waves represent happiness with its ups and downs. Using that illustration, I ask myself, am I a bottom dweller or a surface dweller, and am I in a high-altitude body of water or a low-altitude body of water? 

Hello Friends,

Look around. Your partner, lover, or friend may forgive someone you disapprove of, but isn't forgiveness the higher moral ground? Are there unforgivable sins between humans aside from causing lethal harm? Even ordinary people express forgiveness when a fellow human harms one of their family members (sometimes that seems unbelievable). Without forgiveness, wars would never end, relationships would never mend, and stubbornness would never bend. What are some of the outcomes of forgiveness?

Will people adjust their behavior?

Will people love as before?

Will people help repair what damage was done?

If forgiveness is avoided things would be hanging in the air ready to happen again.

If forgiveness is avoided, communication will probably be cut.

If forgiveness is avoided, what could have been might never be.

Forgiveness, like love, is a word of action. When it is genuine, it brings positive results and helps a relationship mature and become strong enough to endure the assaults the world can hurl at it.

Hello Friends,

One way to think of life and how we are experiencing it is to envision an envelope or cacoon, and we are inside. We can see the world around us interact to a degree, but we can remain safe inside if we stay in our comfort zone. Sometimes, we can let others come inside and join us. All the interactions, even perceived interactions, create how we view the world through our cacoon. How big is the inside of the cacoon? Is it as big or as small as we want it to be? One thing for sure, however small or large the cacoon is, is all we can perceive about our existence and how we interact with it.

If we enter into relationships, they can be as simple as your cacoon and their cacoon viewing, touching, or even merging and becoming one (as much as possible).

Hello Friends,

Imagine you are at the beginning of a love-making session, and you engage in intense foreplay. Your lover is breathing heavily and shedding clothes. Juices are flowing and dripping all over you. You are entirely naked and can engage in sexual intercourse (also coitus or copulation) is sexual activity involving the insertion and thrusting of the male penis inside the female vagina for sexual satisfaction at any moment (Wikipedia) . . . . WAIT!

One of the lovers says NO! One of the lovers says GO! 

Let me know your thoughts about the situation and how it should be resolved.

Hello Friends,

Little by little, I fill up my garage with stuff; little by little, I pack my attic with things I no longer need; little by little, I fill my yard with trees and shrubs; little by little, my basement can no longer keep what I want to store there.

I try to befriend someone little by little, I get better at my job little by little, and I have learned to play musical instruments little by little.

And now I am having a hard time making ends meet little by little.

Can you add things that are done or happen little by little?

Hello Friends,

"If you don't like the weather, wait. It will change." "This too shall pass." (adage about the impermanence of Persian origin)

Suddenly, you are out in the world, either set free, graduated, or immigrated to a new land: what is the most important thing to remember? You need to learn many things and adapt, which takes time, and there are usually no shortcuts. Step by step, moment by moment, you will achieve the necessary things to adjust to your new place. Sorry, but cliches pop into my mind all the time (they are efficient forms of thought). "haste makes waste." (first recorded in 1575, was in John Ray's 1678 proverb collection,  )

Me? I had to learn the hard way because I am naturally impatient; rushing into things often leads to disappointment and unnecessary costs. Worse still? Ruining a relationship. "Bite your tongue". ()

Hello Friends,

Fulfilling a desire is rewarding if it meets your expectations and, more importantly, if you are appropriately prepared.

Foreplay and arousal tailored to the two lovers make all the difference in the world as to the level of satisfaction they experience.  How to begin? I, like most people, start with a trial and maybe experimenting, but it must be followed with honest communication between the lovers. It probably is rare for two lovers to have perfect results instantly. Ideal results may be impossible if neither expresses themself honestly.

Drop hangups and preconceptions and agree only on the limits of discomfort or each lover's genuine dislikes. Still, experimentation can add spice to your love-making experience.