Take Care

Here I will write some things sometimes maybe.

I sometimes feel like I'm copping out a little bit when I call myself a switch. It's not a lie. I do enjoy playing both roles. But I am looking primarily looking for interactions and relationships where I'm in more of a submissive role.

But, for whatever reason, I'm not quite comfortable calling myself a sub. Part of that is because I don't know if I want the same thing most subs want. Even as I say that, I know it's not a fair statement. Of course all subs want different things.

But when I look for classifieds or do other things searching for a dominant partner, the vast majority of them are looking sub slaves. They want someone to completely give control of themselves over to them.

I don't want this. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting that, but it's not for me. But so much of what I see goes in that direction. Full control. So much so that, beyond just my limited experience, I feel like a bit of a fake.

I have some idea of what I want. I want a confident and strong woman. Someone who can take control, but not necessary ALWAYS be in control. And, yes, be incredibly kinky. I guess part of it is that my BDSM wants are more for the bedroom. I don't think I can live the lifestyle 24/7. Again, this makes me self-conscious. Am I just a phony?

I also worry about what I want being too specific. It's never easy to find someone perfect for you. But seeing so many people searching for the opposite of what you want can be disheartening. I know recently I finally saw a classified here for someone that was finally within driving distance. Then I read it and saw that they were looking for a complete slave.

So maybe I won't be able to find what I want here. But I'm still happy to be here. I've gotten to meet a lot of nice people who have been very welcoming to me, even if I can be a bit, uh, immature :)

I guess this was just a bit of venting, so thank you for reading my ramblings!

T slave(sub female){Owned} - Putting words to your desires helps clarify your kink in your mind and helps others see and feel those desires. Never give up as there is someone out there for everyone. Just be patient, that's a trait we all need help with from time to time.

6 years ago

Hisproclivity(sub female) - Care this is a great blog! You are such an amazing person. I am the type to reach out to the Dom/me
(even if their main interest is a slave) and atleast make a friend! You never know--some of your kinks may align. Good luck my friend! ?

6 years ago

Fyglia Wicked(dom female) - Sounds like you are more of a kinkters/ bottom. May need to look for a kinkters/ top . Dominate women are rare and we are outnumbered by sub and slaves .

6 years ago

Fyglia Wicked(dom female) - Sounds like you are more of a kinkters/ bottom. May need to look for a kinkters/ top . Dominate women are rare and we are outnumbered by sub and slaves .

6 years ago

rosethorn(sub female) - Hi, I am a sub however I am what I would consider a bit old school.. I have switched and its not something I enjoy but I still do like elements of it too and I recently cam across the title 'service top' this is where a sub Domme another sub but under the direction of there Dom or Master. I am most defiantly not a push over but I am a sub, this may sound like a contradiction but they can live in harmony, I remember when I entered this world I found it difficult to identify as a sub myself as it was difficult to find other subs like me too, feel free to PM me any time x

6 years ago

cerulean(switch female) - Wanting something less common does not make you a phony. ?

6 years ago

Bunnie - Thank you for opening up and sharing this with us, Care. It’s always scary putting your fears out there. There’s nothing wrong with wanting validation, we all do at some stage. Just because the things you want are different from the majority, doesn’t make them wrong or fake, it just makes them different. We all dance to a unique rhythm, none better or worse than another. Self discovery is our reward, sharing that with someone is hopefully an added bonus ? good luck, friend.

6 years ago

MsNevermore(other female) - Care, you honestly sound more balanced in who you are and what you want then many subs.
The question I would ask (if I was a dom/top, which I am not) is the why of bot the areas you are and are not comfortable submitting to. As a bottom/sub I have my own list and reasons for each. Some are absolute and others are flexible to change once a dynamic begins and evolves.
Its not being phony at all and should not be looked upon as a limitation or limiting you in finding one who most likely will also have a list of their own as to what and how they want to be in control and dominance of certain areas of your life.
Be you and true to yourself.

6 years ago

Caretaker(switch male) - Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement! I'm glad I was able to open up and have so much help from you all!

6 years ago

Stulls(sub female){Collared❤️} - This is great care! Keep going and try to find what works for you and dont settle for less than you deserve. Ya know we all support you here and you can always ask for advice or just someone to talk to. You deserve to get what your looking for ,your not a fake everyone is different that's what makes everone special❤

6 years ago

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Caretaker​(switch male)

Take Care

Finding what I want

Caretaker(switch male)