Subtle Dominance

Did you know that words of affirmation reduce stress and assist with regulating your emotions; or that, words of affirmation can create closer bonds between partners in a relationship?

Words of affirmation make me feel confident and strong. When a submissive is able to communicate in words the impact I have on his life, I am assured that he trusts my guidance and leadership. I am assured that he is comfortable with permitting me to make decisions and take control of his life. Words of affirmation manifest positive vibes, encouraging statements build confidence, and words that express devotion and loyalty uplift and validate my presence in the submissive’s life. Words of affirmation are impactful and supportive and they are planted seeds of Empowerment that motivate me to be a dynamic force in your life.

Here are my top 10 favorite words of affirmation from a submissive:
1. Thank you for allowing me to be in your presence Goddess/Madam Domina.

2. Thank you for adding value to my life Goddess/Madam Domina.

3. Thank you for teaching me how to be a man of my word; I am empowered by your guidance and leadership.

4. Good Morning Goddess/Madam Domina, Thank you for allowing me to send.

5. You look amazing today, Goddess/Madam Domina.

6. I am honored to serve such a beautiful and powerful Dominant. Your happiness is my priority.

7. Thank you for your patience when I fall short of pleasing you.

8. Thank you for your guidance and leadership. I’m so lucky to be your servant.

9. I appreciate the time you take to learn and understand me. I am grateful for your genuine concern.

10. Thank you for listening to me. You always make me feel valued and heard.

I am Empowered by your Active submission!

Domina

As I evolve, I am becoming more aware of my place in the kink world. My research has assisted me in being able to identify my kink style as Non-Sexual, meaning it is not related to or dependent on sexual activity. I am Empowered and aroused by Active submission, yet my kinks have very little to do with sex…

Anyone who knows me in this community is aware that I desire a more intimate connection that explores power exchange, control, and acts of service. I enjoy D/s dynamics that thrived on discipline and structure without the sexual element , and I enjoy the emotional and mental stimulation of a D/s dynamic when a submissive allows the layers of his mind to be peeled back, revealing his hidden and/or spoken truths. The ability to be vulnerable is appealing to me, and the resistance before surrendering is indeed mentally stimulating to me. I am Empowered when subs block me or deactivate, especially, if I recognize the fear of surrendering would not allow him to trust his desire to release the level of control needed to set him free. No matter what the outcome, there is a great possibility that I will make a profound impact on his life, and at the end of the day that’s all that truly matters.

Kink without sex can be fulfilling in the following ways:

Service submission - is expressed by doing tasks, chores and rituals for the Dominant. The submissive learns discipline and structure without sexual engagement.

Sensory play - involves physical touch, and tension created to awaken sensual feelings that tap into the emotions of both the Dominant and the submissive, which assist in creating a sacred bond.

Control/Protocol - structured rules, behavior, dress codes, posture training are rooted in the power exchange without a sexual purpose.

Impact play with boundaries - spanking and flogging, creating sensations and emotional connections beyond the physical act of sex.

Emotional Dominance/submission - speaking with authority and having the power to encourage and or humiliate.

My desire is to teach you how to separate kink from sex and together we will be empowered to explore intimacy beyond the physical rim.

Domina Reigns

There have been many times I have been approached by individuals identifying as being submissive; making request to serve me without having a conversation concerning what type of D/s dynamic either one of us desires to experience. I consider this form of approach to be a red flag when there is no interest to engage in thought provoking conversations to determine the level of engagement we, (both), are interested in pursuing.

A submissive should want to know enough about me to determine if he would feel safe, emotionally and/or physically.
To be under consideration, you must be prepared to discuss the following: (1) Experience Level- Understanding each other’s experience levels so that we both feel confident in our respective roles. (2) Boundaries and Limits - I need a clear understanding of your hard/soft limits. (3) Establishing Trust - practicing the four pillars of BDSM (Communication, Honesty, Respect and Trust will be the foundation of building a successful relationship.

I love to engage with individuals who show a sincere interest. Let your approach be a symbolic gesture of your willingness to be vulnerable with me.

Domina

I AM…
Your emotional anchor…
I make decisions, hold space, and bring deep peace to those who crave structure and kindness.

I AM…
Strength without disturbance, ruling with an emotional steadiness, and the presence of my subtle Dominance permits one to trust without fear.

Domina Reigns

   SUPREME

I take self-care breaks right after discontinuing engagement with a servant. I spend time reflecting on the connection that was made and accepting the reasons for why the dynamic was terminated. I allow myself the opportunity to acknowledge all feelings connected to the relationship and I give thanks for the experience because it helps me to become a better Dominant moving forward. The past week, I started a new business which has kept me very busy. I worked on my balcony garden and I am preparing for my 14 day cleanse on August 1st. It’s the perfect time to release everything that no longer serves me and to prepare a path for balance and manifestation to unfold and reveal the desires of my heart.

Domina Reigns

   SUPREME

I am here for it all…
The total experience to which I will evolve.
To experiment and to learn.
To observe and to be observed.
To challenge and to be challenged.
To advise and to be advised.
To glean from those who have already walked the path…
To guide and teach those who choose to be lead.
To touch the hot stove, get burnt, and survive the aftermath.
Yes, I am here for it all.

Domina Reigns
SUPREME

It took two and a half years to meet a submissive who recognized that I was a woman of substance.

It felt wonderful to be affirmed and respected…

To be catered to with sincere devotion and admiration.

To have someone eager to serve me everyday.

There was no drama and very little resistance to change.

Our ability to communicate our honest thoughts and to be vulnerable with each other

helped to establish trust and respect on a deeper level...

Little did I know I had planted a seed for someone else to water and watch it grow.

I am Empowered, knowing I assisted in bringing two individuals together to explore 

the possibility of expanding their relationship beyond the vanilla world.

It is my hope that you will now be able to fulfill your submissive needs with the one who loves you the most.

Domina Reigns

   SUPREME

I value the four core principles of BDSM…

Communication, Honesty, Respect and Trust. Here is my list of relationship goals and expectations. 

 Current Relationship Goals

• To create a goal-oriented trial period in which the submissive will thrive under my guidance and leadership.
• To provoke interesting discussions, tasks and assignments that will prepare the submissive for service and/or ownership.
• To set and maintain boundaries that will discipline and strengthen the mind of the submissive.
• To identify performance gaps and aid with closing those gaps.
• To provide a safe space of comfort and peace so that the submissive can embrace his authentic self.

Expectations

•  Treat me with respect and always care.
•  Be honest about your experience; this is a safe space for you to be your authentic self.
•  Complete all assignments and task on time.
•  Maintain a genuine desire to learn how to honor, serve and worship me.
•  Inform me if you need to take a break from the dynamic and remember to always use your safe word.

It’s the little things that matter most to me…

1.        Recognize that I am a woman of substance and my dominance is an extension of who I am.

Pay attention to the subtle things that make me happy: like, morning affirmations, mid-day and evening check ins. Honoring me on Goddess Worship Sundays. (You will learn more about this while under consideration) Always approach respectfully, and address me as Madam Domina.  Always ask for permission to speak and permission to be excused before we close out our conversations.

2.        Make it clear to me how important I am to you.

Let us be clear, that your family must be your first priority. There are no exceptions to this rule. Also, you must take care of yourself, mentally and physical, to provide me with your best acts of service. The way you show me that I am important is by making scheduled time for me and being ProActive in your submission. That means that you will not always wait for me to give you assignments and tasks, but instead you will go out of your way to find out how you may better serve me. Examples: Making small gestures to show me that you have been thinking about me during the course of the day; writing letters to give thanks for allowing you to be present in my life, sending small gifts of appreciation, like tea sends, breakfast, lunch or dinner, if you believe I am adding value to your life. Doing all these things from a space of desire to please me without expecting anything in return.

3.        Respecting the Honor Code.

Always be clear and honest about your boundaries and limitations and understand that you have the right to say no. Inform me in a reasonable time when you are not able to complete an assignment and/or tasks, understanding not being able to do so may still carry a penalty. Be clear on the level of submission you are willing to offer at each level of the dynamic. If allowed, be respectful when engaging with other Dominants. They should know right away that you are under consideration, and there is no room for error on this matter. Always remember, that you are free to resign from your position of submission at anytime for any reason.

4.        Understand the difference between the fantasy of submission vs. the reality of submission.

You have a life, a career, family and friends. You are a human being with a personality outside of being a submissive in this dynamic.   Kink is just one aspect our dynamic.   There will be times when we will need to have conversations outside of our respective roles as Dominant and submissive.

5.         Be empowered by your desire to serve me and willing to suppress your personal fantasies.

You should always function to the best of your ability because you desire to please me, and you should never be disobedient on purpose to fulfill a sexual urge. Example: Not completing an assignment or task for the sake of your personal gratification. Never topping from the bottom, meaning you create a situation in which the power of exchange becomes reversed.

6.        Be proud of your submission and servitude to me.

Be willing to trust the process and be open to doing things you may not be comfortable with; however, I will always respect your hard limits at all times.

7.        Understand that I am a complexed woman who is evolving in my Dominance.

I am not perfect, I will make mistakes, and I ask that you make room for forgiveness if I should ever make you feel uncomfortable. Caring and nurturing you will always be my top priority.

8.         submission is a gift, and Dominance is a privilege.

  Domina Reigns

     SUPREME

An under-consideration period gives both the Dominant and the submissive the opportunity to discover if they will be a good match for a D/s dynamic. It is a trial period to decide if the Dominant and submissive’s styles are compatible. During this time, either partner can decide to end the UC period without obligation or resentment.

What is the purpose of being under consideration?

The purpose of being under consideration is to confirm that both partners needs will be satisfied in the dynamic. While under- consideration, the Dominant begins to introduce the submissive to structured training necessary for a successful dynamic. Also, this is the proper time to introduce the core pillars of BDSM, which are communication, honesty, respect, trust and understanding. Under-consideration is where the Dominant begins to mold these significant elements into the mind of the submissive to build a solid foundation.

What are the expectations of the submissive & Dominant during the UC period?

The Dominant and submissive decide what the expectations will be during the under-consideration period. Think of it as a no-fault trail period with rules and expectations to determine if the dynamic will work. Negotiations, assignments, tasks and scenes are permitted during this time.

How long should an under-consideration period last?

Usually, the Dominant decides how long the UC period will last, but keep in mind, either partner can decide to end the UC period at any time. The most important thing to consider is to not rush the process due to the exciting and intoxicating feeling that may occur.

What are the benefits of the under-consideration period?

The under-consideration period allows the Dominant and submissive to get to know each other before making a full commitment. Both partners will have an opportunity to present their Active Dominance and Active submission to each other. If there is no real connection, there will be no reason to make a full commitment to the D/s dynamic.

What parameters will be set during the under-consideration period?

This is an exciting time to practice negotiations, which should include time, limits, expectations, needs, wants, rules, protocol, and goals.

Is the under-consideration period required?

The under-consideration period is not required; however, it can be beneficial for both partners.

Under-consideration is an excellent and useful tool to help build a solid foundation between the Dominant and submissive in a BDSM or D/s dynamic, making the connection between both partners better.

 Domina Reigns

    SUPREME

The very thing you desire, also, you fear.

Your transformation to true submission may not come easily, 

but it will prove to be necessary in order that you fulfill your purpose.

Your fear of surrendering has to die to make space for true submission to thrive.

Let go of fear so you may be reborn again.

Domina Reigns

    SUPREME