Name' sake

. . . She woke abruptly - panting, in a cold sweat - Her wrists together in a contorted, strained state above her head - her legs parted and trembling - the sheet gone - in the throws of an orgasm. . . . Again.

. . . . . . 

Renée was a well adjusted 36 year old woman. She kept herself fit, exercised regularly and only ate healthy food. She attended yoga sessions twice a week and managed to make it to church every Sunday.  No kids, never married. She had had a couple of memerable relationships,  but nothing lasting.  Overall a well rounded, well balanced woman. 

This "problem" started three weeks ago, and occurred every night since. She would retire to bed at her usual time, fall asleep fairly quickly - and dream fairly normal dreams, as far as dreams go anyway. And then "he" would appear . . . .

"I feel like im losing my mind" she said, exhausted. "Trust me, you are not" her therapist replied reassuringly. 

Joyce was a veteran in the psychology and theraputic world, with four and half decades experience. She was seen as a motherly figure by most of her clients.

"Three weeks now? Why did you wait so long to discuss this?" She asked with a sympathetic tone "Well, I thought it was a passing thing" she admitted, "and well, I mean . . .kindof embarrassing,  ya know?" Both women chuckled. "Do you know who it is in your dream?" "No, I mean . . ."  She hesitated  "its like . . . I dont know him, but I do not fear him, does that make sense?"  Joyce set her glasses on the desk and contimplated for a moment. "Do you wake orgasming every time?" Renee flushed with obvious embarrassment. "Yes, . . . every time"  She replaced her glasses and jotted a couple of notes. "And is he aggressive every time?" "Yes, but like I said . . . Its weird, I mean . . . " a moment passed quietly "go on, its ok"  " well, I dont fear him. He ravages me, holds me down . . . He just . . . ." She stopped and looked away . . . " he what?" Joyce prodded, "he what?"  "He takes me . . . Like . . . .its hard to explain  . . . .like I belong to him"  "but you do not know who he is?"  "No, I mean . . . Its a dream right? . . . I cant say I know him, no, but . . . .theres this sense of . . . .I dont know how to explain it, I mean I wake up so . . .its just . . . .I have this sense of . . . .it seems so real and . . . ." She stopped and looked away again. "Ok, ok"  Joyce set her glasses back down, seeing that Renee was getting upset. "Heres what we're gonna do, I have a friend that specializes in sleep study, id like you to meet her". 

"Ok" Renee replied, brushing away almost ruined eye make-up, "If you think it will help".

End of part 1

How many people are 'not' on during the weekends.

A time when you would think more people would be on a site like this.

Are most of you online while at work? Trying to dispell the dreary day to day?  🤔

Sometimes in the winter months I would go crystal hunting in the deserts of south west Arizona, near Mexico. Set up my camp and settle in.
I would sip my coffee and quietly wait for the sun to best the shadow mountains on the horizon.

That is the golden hour.

A soft, unseen choir would herald in my mind, almost audible as the first rays cracked the summit. 

It's time.

I would head out and begin my new days search.

I noticed that after especially harsh weather, driving winds most often, sometimes rain - bitter cold - the following morning the crystals would glisten brighter. Stands to reason I suppose.

Anyway, I would set my eyes and begin my careful scanning. It was always so quiet, so still - my footsteps seemed almost rude in a way, Intrusive on a stage not designed for me, or was it?

Suddenly,  just like the quick flare of a lighthouse -As if she were saying "over here! Here I am, over here!!"  ~ Off in the distance, sometimes a very far distance . . .

Oh, it was so exciting finding them. 

I miss it.

One day towards the end of my stay that season, I decided to skip my crystal hunting routine. I made a fresh coffee and knelt on the bank of a small wash near my camp and just contemplated life. I was staring at the ground in front of me, deep in thought. "What will my tomorrow look like? Where should I go next?" Silly thoughts that drift in and out of my head. I needed more coffee, lol. - as my eyes regained actual focus - I realized I was looking directly at what ended up the biggest crystal ive ever found to date. Right there in front of me not five feet away.

Two sayings come to mind;

"Seek and you shall find"

"Learn to be still"

Which path, and when? That is the conundrum,  isnt it? For many.

So many things in life can be understood as lessons, once we recognize the teacher.

Felt like writing a little story ✍️ 

Happy Sunday people  🙏 

That letter I never finished

My vehicles oil change

That promise I have yet to keep

The debt owed to me,  yet to be repaid

My house plant

2021

My mentality when im drunk, lol

Those dirty dishes in that box from when I moved 🙄

Last time I had authentic Chinese 

My guitar strings

My address 

That ketchup in the back of my fridge

My fridge

My dream catcher

The dust on my camera

* A bunny's cheek against mine

* The smells of fresh coffee and/or bacon in the morning 

*Hitting the snooze button and realizing its saturday

* A crackling fire on a cold winter day

* The smell of wet leaves in the fall

* That last peek through the clouds as the sun sets over the water

* A hard dip on my fishing pole

* A hand made gift on fathers day

* Her hand gently taking mine

* The silence the world takes on as an eagle glides across the blue midday sky

* Genuine laughter from a child

* New shoes that feel like they were made specifically for my feet

* "I love you" with that certain sparkle that only true love can create

* Those last few moments right before you fall asleep - taking a nap when theres other things you should be doing

* Baby hummingbirds

* Grape fields in late fall

* Those feelings, how the world looks, when your falling in love

* Bubble wrap

* The waves the wind creates across an open field

* Fresh cut hay

* The smell of leather

* Your gift that makes her cry

* Tripple layer german chocolate cake

* Sand between my toes

* A happy ending in an "against all odds" love story

* The 1st flowers of spring

* An unexpected apology

* Splashing into the water after nailing the perfect swan dive

* My cat purring on my chest

* The first firing of an engine I rebuilt

* Winning the bid at an auction

* Music that gives me goose bumps

* Laughing to tears

Why would someone do that?

When is "ok" to lose your temper?

Today I stabbed my speaker with a screwdriver,  not once, not twice - axe murderer repeatedly. 

Do I regret it? No

It felt good.

A little back story - said speaker has been grating on my nerves for almost a year. At certain frequencies it would buzz. Like ridiculously buzz. I fixed it . . . And fixed it . . . And fixed it!

Finally (today) I had had enough! 

Damn you vile speaker! Damn you to hell!

Lol

RIP poor speaker 🙏😔

But alas! It begs the question,  when is such behavior ok?

My vehicle cd player would constantly skip. One day I had my wife and her kids with me. Sure enough,  said player began to skip.

Without a second thought I punched it 🙃 

It played without issue from then on.

"Oh nice! Nice thing to teach the kids" she said

"It worked mom" said her youngest son

I laughed

Update as per request 

*WARNING - graphic content

Viewer discretion advised 

"No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee."

(John Donne)

Lets suppose for a moment, the earths inhabitants consist of 10 people living in one house. This one is doing this, and that one is doing that. mostly content going about the day to day fillings of life.

One day one of them dies. The earths people surely felt the loss. They wept and mourned.

Now there were only 9

A few months later one of them gave birth to twin boys. Oh how the people rejoiced! Welcome, new members of the people of earth! 

Now there were 11 . . . .

Fast forward however many years any given "expert" says we've been evolving, to present day.

The bell still tolls, but has it become too far away to be heard? Has the sheer mass caused it to lose significance? Is that simply the nature of things?

Bigger is better, right?

It boggles my mind that in just my lifetime the population of the earth has more than doubled.

Where are we headed? What will become of us?

I know! Lets go trash mars!  🙄

*edit - whats your favorite lube?

Consensual non consent

For those into this, do you discuss beforehand what is 'not' allowed to happen?

(Open discussion post for those curious about this form of play)