It's been 2 days yet I still feel lost without him. I've been putting myself out there, talking with others (thank you to those who have reached out) and yet my mind always drift back to him and the memory of watching him leave the apartment like I had set fire to it.
I keep telling myself, it wasn't my fault, I didn't do anything except follow his instructions to remove my clothes...it just downward spiraled from there...but it's not my fault...
As I put myself out there again, I wonder if I'm finally going to find the one for me, the one who I'm able to connect with again like I did with him, the one who makes me feel wanted and pays attention to me...because at the end of the day, that's what I'm craving.
I want to find that person who treats me with respect, who makes time for me, who is okay with how I look as I know I'm not skinny, the one who controls me and the one who I'm willing to give that control to.
Waiting for my phone to buzz and to see the message from HIM, to feel the excitement growing within to see what HE had said is what I want to finally feel again...
2022...I want to make it my year.
