Good enough.

Thoughts of a sub whose seen too much in her young life.

Today I have been told I am a horrible person. I do not like to think I am but I have been told it enough lately to believe that it is true. I do not want to be this way. I do what is best for my kids. Do everything I can to make sure they want for nothing while also making sure they are not spoiled rotten. I try to give every chance I have and when I can give no more I apologize. Does that make me a horrible person?

Maybe it's the fact that sometimes I wake up in "moods" as I call them where I don't want to talk to anyone or do anything except for sit in my misery. But I always make sure to let people know when they message me. Sometimes I just need my space. Does that make me horrible?

Sometimes I lose my temper. I know that well and for a fact. Sometimes I get mad and see red to the point that I scream and yell. But that usually happens in reaction to something.. Does that make me Horrible?

I don't quite understand why I am a horrible person but apparently I am. No matter how much I tell myself I am not it seems to keep coming up.

I'm sorry I'm so horrible. I honestly do not try to be. I try to be such a nice person. But sometimes even nice people have a bad day...

(This is in reflection to something that happened r/l. I don't often feel this way but needed to express myself somehow.)

Little moon(sub female){Not lookin} - Hugs!! Alot of the time when people don't get what they want to they switch to emotional manipulation or guilt tripping, you need to carefully consider this and see if it's applicable to the situation. Also realize that people tend to project their own feelings and emotional state on to others. If the source of these accusations or feedback is the same person or someone who constantly leaves you in a state of unrest then there might be more of a toxic environment or personal grievance at play. Message me if you ever need to talk, I don't know you so I can't say either way but I'm sure you try and its never as simple as that. It might help for you to sit down and carefully analyze what YOU personally a horrible to be and then from there decide internal7of any of it applies to you. If so work on it, as much as you need to and are able. If not, let it flow off your feathers like water and be true to yourself.

5 years ago

Pandabear(sub female) - Thank you

5 years ago

Pandabear(sub female) - Thank you

5 years ago

Justme26 - Raising kids is hard (not that I know, but I know how hard my sister found it), you are probably just tired.

5 years ago

Little momma(sub female) - I was once told people Project how they feel about themselves on to others. If someone says you're a horrible person it's because they feel that way about themselves.

5 years ago

Pandabear(sub female) - I never thought about it that way. It's definitely a different way to look at the current situation. Thank you

5 years ago

Little momma(sub female) - Unhappy people don't like happy people. They do things without conscious thought to make happy people as unhappy as they are.

5 years ago

Pandabear(sub female) - My mom actually tells me that a lot.. especially when I call her upset like I did today.

5 years ago

Thecharmedmuse(switch female){My Wildman} - No one has the right to call you a horrible person. NO ONE. Not even yourself. You are perfectly imperfect. You are YOU. No better or no worse than anyone else living on this rock. Horrible is subjective. Horrible can be beautiful. I like Avocado green... some hate it... It just is. Love your horrible. Turn it into something you adore. See what happens when someone calls you horrible and you smile and say, “thank you.” ... It’s empowering.

5 years ago

Pandabear(sub female) - Thank you.

5 years ago

Bunnie - If it’s something you do truly wish to face up to and look at within yourself, is it a possibility to ask these people what made them feel this way?

Perhaps it could give you some very valuable feedback and insight.

I have a lot of respect for people who are willing to own our less than stellar characteristics. Well done to you, and good luck with it :)

5 years ago

Pandabear(sub female) - Thank you.

5 years ago

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Pandabear​(sub female)

Good enough.

Horrible person.

Pandabear(sub female)