Yup, just like that. I get this one all the time. People read my profile, some have even gone so far as to "blog insult me", and tell me that how can I think I am a submissive, or even belong in this dynamic, when all I talk about, and all I portray is some "Holier than thou" attitude that seeks to challenge any man that would never grace my DM's.
oh how there is so much wrong there. First, if you think that, you have NEVER graced my DM's. Because people who talk to me as a D to my s, know right away that I am a submissive by nature. "Is it just a facade then?" Again... wrong. Just because I have invested 10,000 hours in understanding myself (reference to becoming the literal expert in any given field) to your couple of broken hearted self reassembling's, does not mean I am a self righteous pretentious know it all. But m'eh.
I re-read my profile often. I love it, who I am, and what I represent. It does come across as forward. I wholeheartedly agree that you may see this same language or self assuredness on a self proclaimed Doms profile. I am okay with that. It did get me thinking why some people would even begin to consider that, because of the way I hold myself, because of who I can be when I am needed, because of my unshakeable self worth, that I am not a submissive; it got me thinking about what makes me a submissive, more so than the passionate and non-negotiable needs that I look for in my partner.
Speaking of partners: AlphaWolfe and I are doing well. Awesome in fact! I have never felt like I could lean on someone more in the hectic times I am going through, more than I have been able to him. Almost to the point where it was originally something we talked about in length, the first three months of 2021 are very rough for me; I proposed waiting a bit, he wasn't having it. What a treasure I have been granted. He allows me to be so transparent that I often get insecure that I am being too much, too critical of us both, but as he always does, he hears every word and gives me the space I need to say it... then tells me I am being too critical of us both! haha... exactly the right thing to say. If anyone can bring about my insecurities, it is him. He makes me vulnerable, but he also makes me triumphant through it.
Back to being a natural submissive, after that admittance that yes, I am not all confidence and bluntness, like my profile seems to dissuade. That is the entire point. Being both, the eternal balance. How strength in one place does not diminish your strength in another. I usually quote some fundamental law of physics or chemistry or math... this will be no different: It is the theory of perpetual motion. When two things, like magnets, have a positive impact on each other, it can create energy that makes them both stronger. This turns into a build on forces or perpetual motion, being the source of it's own continued momentum. Now, there are some flaws with the theory of perpetual motion (being that the fundamentals do not exist, whoops! lol) but in reality, one strength creates the momentum for the other plus some, thus giving something to build on in every exchange. This is a great example of how Mr. Wolfe and I live our dynamic, but I am being selfish right now and talking about me making ME a better person.
First Things First.
There is no claim to my submission. I am a submissive, I have spent enough of my contemplative years looking for this. Understanding that something in my life lacked synergy. That I could take on the world, and carry my significant other through the worst, but it did not complete me. This was not an 'end of an era' lack of completeness, I am a long term partner. This was not a '7 year itch' it was a working everyday to get what I was needing from a partner, husband and friend, and it never materializing, because it was something that did not exist on his end. It was easy for me, even in the vanilla world, the female usually falls into the stereotypical feminine rolls without needing to announce she is a submissive... and to that, I understand why there can be so many questions around truly being submissive, or just being in a societal norm with just enough historical trauma to make you decide to be passive. My submission has everything to do with my Dom... and that is how I knew I was truly a submissive. Even something all about me... is in essence, all about my Sir.
The most obvious statement I can make to anyone in doubt about a strong woman being a submissive is that, Duh, you do not have dominion over me. You do not get to see my submissive nature. It is for one person. The rest, I will stand fierce against, treat you, like I treat the world, you have earned no more than that. Still, doubt and shade are instigated my way. I do not possess the characteristics of a good, subservient, dynamic minded individual. Possibly, I could agree. I am not meek, timid, or powerless. Except, I am all of these. I am everything you would find 'fitting' of an ideal pet, slave, doll; except, that we will never 'fit'. Do not get me wrong. I am thrilled when people pass over my profile and assess the risk as a time dump, because it is. But for the reason to be that I am lacking a portfolio of qualities that are intrinsic to my choices, is the highest of misconceptions.
When the entirety of my energy exists to satisfy, to be the best version of myself for someone else, that extends out into the world. It creates knowing exactly who you are and leveraging your strengths. I would not be a different person at home, you are right. Because I never had that person to meet me at the door, take the crop out of my hand, and lend me strong arms to crumble into. Someone to say "My Turn" and allow me to be myself. A homestead will do no good without a leader, and if you won't do it, I will. Is that not submissive in itself? Always putting my wants aside to ensure that my other is taken care of, even if it means being the leader?
I don't take insult with the people who ask these questions, even if it is none of their business, or their superficial assumptions drive their opinions. It is common to know people based on their most prevalent actions. It is not accurate, but it is not uncommon. I also won't deny that I am these characteristics I portray. I love the side of me that knows what I need and won't sugar coat it, or heaven forbid, alter it, to be seen of worth. It took a long time to master myself, and it was time well spent. These same characteristics, are what make me submissive, wouldn't you know.
This funny thing happens when you are doing something outside of your comfort zone. You always strive to return to your comfort zone. You worship the person who can return you to balance and you prize the sensation of finally being released. Many would argue that you become who you pretend to be, if you pretend long enough. To you same people I ask, can a Dom, pretend to be a Dom? Those same people who would chastise me for being a fierce presence, that I have altered my own very personality, would also say that their counterparts can be no more a Dom than the next try hard if they are not truly dominant. So which is it, make up your mind? I agree with you. I am no more a dominant than the next pretender, and it is exhausting. I suppose that is the first thing you should know about my submission. It is exhausting when I don't get to do it. When, for whatever reason, I have to go extended amounts of time taking on the role I was not meant to play. I think you can all relate.
Instead, though, I can embrace the temporariness, because the release of getting to be myself, is much more thrilling when you fall from a much higher place. I crave it. That is what you won't see, reading my 'assertive' profile; how instantaneously and willingly I collapse into my place. How greedily I take what I am offered, when it is offered from a place of understanding it is who I am naturally. The power of a palm, extended in relief of my burdens, exchanged for my complete surrender. It is Need incarnate and my Dom provides it. He will never see me as too assertive, too exertive, too dominant, because he knows his Needs counter balance it all. His Need to provide for my Needs and to not let any of it exist in his presence. I fall from a place, not of grace when I kneel, but from a place of knowing exactly what I do not want, where I do not belong, and being offered Eden in its stead.
How complicated things can be that are not "worth" exploring.
~Oracle
