I love change! I love watching it, love seeing people live revalation (not the biblical sense) and evolving. I can practically see the room full of neurons lighting up as Joy and purpose finally spark true in someone. When two pieces that have never connected before do, and the fireworks of energy explodes. It is a whole body experience, one I search for often. Almost like a drug.
So why then are people defensive about it? If it truly is as miraculous as it seems, why do people protect it with so much hostility? You have finally figured out that key that unlocks the door. Shouldnt you want to hang it on the fridge and glory in its presence? But instead, people cradle it in their arms, sheltering it from the abuse of the world. Protecting the newness of it? You understand a newborn can't understand hatred, malice or ignorance yet, right?
Maybe they just want to hold it for a little longer. I can understand that. Just want to bask in the glow, before they have to subject it to scrutiny. Maybe in that aspect... I am not empathetic enough, even though I get it, it is just not who I am.
How do I know that my pasta is perfect? I chuck it at the mf-ing wall! (I know that is an old wives tale, bear with me... also... I KNOW you do not want to do this to newborns... though I was talking about new born ideas... not babies... eesh) so when I see an idea that is life changing: that brings a new piece of someone out in all their glory! I want to make it shine brighter. Does a Smith simply leave an unpolished masterpiece of woven metal and fire? Nope, he polishes the shit out of it... then he proceeds to chop everything he can get his hands on in half. He really puts that thing through the ringer, looking for chips and cracks that could mean his work is not quite done.
Maybe you want your revelation to sit on a shelf and everyone to look at it and be happy for you. If that is your prerogative, I am not here to take that joy from you. But there is another level to this joy that I want for you. I want you to know that piece on your mantle has stood the tests of time, whatever you can throw at it. Is practical AND beautiful. That combination is heady; spiritually resounding. It will fill you with so much pride and purpose that a shiny, useless achievement, never will. I want that for you.
And so, I ask questions. Questions you may be too sensitive to hear, or unprepared to answer. Questions, that at some point, someone invalidated and made you think your answer may be wrong. Questions, you may know will lead your light for the subject to dim, and in the moment you want nothing more than to enjoy the light you have created. Each one of these is yours to decide. I am merely saying you showed it to me, I am proud of you, but I want more in my empathy, in my kindness, than to pretend it is all that it could be.
Maybe you are happy living this level of completeness, but one day you may take that thing off your wall and need it in practical use... and it might fail you, because you weren't prepared for the day you needed to rely on it, because everyone around you told you it was anything but superficial. That your work was done. It wasn't.
This is just my opinion. I have never told someone they are wrong. I have just made them feel wrong. My fault I suppose. Questioning someone's question. Not allowing them to have their theory and not test it against other theories. Because you have to contend with defensiveness and ego; dissonance and entitlement.
Some would call it confrontational. I disagree (wait... crap). Not everything skeptical is confrontation. Emotion vrs Inquiry is the main difference I see. Some people will just project and feel like every doubtful engagement is a personal attack. Some can go a little longer before feeling like they are being invalidated and their opinion is not being respected. There is a switch that flips, when things dissolve on one side or the other into emotional attacks or biases that become the focus and not the original statements. Paragraphs that argue one point over all others presented. It will happen eventually, if from nothing else than fatigue... but usually it is something more personal.
I am sorry that many feel the need to protect their ideals so deniably, instead of letting their mind be changed, or being wrong. Quite the trend lately, it is a little dissapointing. I thought I was coming to a place where all the ways I was wrong wouldn't matter, because I could be proud of who I am, in all my wrongness... but there are still just as many people here with even more conviction about their "right to be right"
... awe, now I have made myself sad. Oh well. I will likely always be this person who seeks honest conversation and the possibility to be wrong and enlightened for the right reasons. Effectively making both words meaningless in the process. I have been lucky enough to have both in my life recently and I do see the light through the storms. Thank you to everyone that works so hard to stand proud every day.
To the Moon and Back
~Oracle
