I mentioned in yesterdays blog that I could not forgive my self for failing to be a proper bloke. Infact it is such a long time since I associated with proper blokes that it is hard to remember the finer details of what one is. Although you might have something similar in America, the proper bloke is a very British phenomenon. There are however only three essential characteristics of blokeyness:
1. Beer. If you do not drink beer or larger you are not a bloke. I don't know how much but I would think that less than 20 pints a week would be unthinkable (although many would drink that on a Friday night).
2. Football. Or what I think you call soccer. Some play, all of them watch a lot (I have no idea how much but a lot). You do not have to support any particular team, but you have to support England.
3. Sex. Not entirely sure of the rules here. A bloke can be married or monogamous, but I think that if a bloke does not have sex every forty hours then he is either gay or sad (not really sure which is more derogatory. It is perfectly all right to lie).
4. Dress. Jeans and T shirt or a cheap suit worn as if it is even cheaper.
Not all blokes are career criminals or work as car mechanics or plumbers. I do not think that a London accent is essential but it is usual.
Me: I don't really like beer (I don't like the smell) and, I have tried, but I just have no interest in sport. In short I never stood a chance.
