Master and the Sub

Well it's been 4 weeks now and Hazel eyes is still suffering with her migraines. As I write this she is sleeping off her earlier dose of medication just to take more before her headache returns. Doctor's appointment tomorrow and I can only hope they can find a cure, watching someone you love suffer is hard when there's nothing you can do but give support. I feel utterly useless, and she's getting tired of being sedated just to get some temporary relief. I am not a master nor a dominant, just a husband concerned about my wife, if possible I would take every ache and pain just to have happiness fill her beautiful hazel eyes again. Will update if something new happens. Big hug to all our friends. 

Good evening to everyone, sorry I havent't wrote for awhile but life sometimes takes presidence over everthing else. It's been a pressing last 3 weeks, my beautiful lioness has had a migrain that just won't go away. I haven't seen this many drugs since high school and they don't seem to be doing any good, hopefully going to see a neurologist soon I just want my lioness back to feeling good again. Over the last few weeks I have got to see what others have done to her in the past and it made me reflect on how others in our life have an inpact sometime's small other times quite tramatic. You see I was always taught to treat people with the love and respect they deserve until such time they don't. I have done nothing special over the last few weeks except take care of her but to hear her explain it I seem like a savior of some sort, hell even her mother thanked me for taking care of her. I explained I was doing nothing more than I would do for someone I loved which she is my beautiful wife and it is my job to always protect her and take care of her nothing more than the way I was taught. Thanks Mom and Dad for teaching me to be human, I have heard I'm sorry for causing you to be inconvenenced or being a burden makes me mad as hell to think people treat another human being like nothing more than an object to use and discard when they no longer serve their purpose. God will be the only one to save his soul because if our paths ever cross my demon will take his life. If you claim to be a dominate or a master always remember it comes with great responsibility for not only protecting one physically but also mentally and emotionally remember it's a life your resonsible for. My beautiful lioness through all her sickness has made my house a home with a christmas tree, decorations, and scents of the season, she has made sure everyone is taken care of for christmas no mater how small a gift. I honestly can't understand why such a beautiful person like her would ever want someone like me but she reminds me everyday with her beautiful smile that I am loved and taken care of, only thing I'll ever need is her love. To all we wish you the very best this Holiday Season and in life I hope you find what makes your soul happy. Seasons Kinky Greeting from Lion and Hazel Eyes.

Tomorrow will mark 6 months since we met, I truly can't imagine my life without my beautiful lioness. In that time we have learned many things about each other and I can't say any are bad because we're so much alike. Since she got here many things have happened and new things are happening now but she has showed me what the meaning of strong is not just physically but mentally, and emotionally. My oldest chilld is going through a divorce and she was right there to give support and make my grandson feel special, he adores her like if he has known her all his life. with the holidays here she has brought a new sense of purpose to my life, before I never really cared one way or another about holidays. We have a Christmas tree and the house is decorated something that hasn't happened in atleast 10 years, she is making sure everything is perfect for my family. I already knew but on Thanksgiving my youngest child let her know he was transgendering a big step for someone he just met that is why she is so special to me accepting of all that has happened since she got here just a few short months ago. So yesterday they went shopping for a new clothes for her, it seems they have become quite the pair of shopping buddies. She asked me why I think she is so great I don't think I could ever descibe the angel I see in her but I can say it's the caring, loving sympathetic, smart, beautiful, wonderful human being she is this is why I think she is great and will love her forever and I will try my best to make sure she knows. She has also felt like she doesn't do enough for me, I can honestly say that she has done more for me that any other I have had in a relationship. Please all chime in, I don't work due to my past gunshot issues, so I have my time free, I take care of the house. Usual chores laundry, cleaning, vaccuming, cooking, running errands. She works a job eight hours a day, has to drive back and forth everyday and deal with people, comes home to do homework for her classes, has to put up with me 2 cats and 1 dog and still helps out around here with things. Wouldn't you all agree she is doing quite alot because I have no complaints I get to eat bon bons all day and watch soap operas. I belive in equal when it comes to a relationship but if one side needs help then the scale tips in that direction until in time the balance is equal again. Until she gets her degree I will do whatever it takes to make her life stress free as I can. On both our behalfs I would like to wish everyone a wonderful holiday season, may it be filled with love, hope and all things good. Big Hug to all. Lion and his beautiful Lioness

I want to ask this question what is love? Is it a feeling an emotion or both.  How does one register what love is to them, I have seen people that equate love with objects, money, status. You don't love me because fill in the blank as to what they want or need, do we associate love with certain feelings, emotions, or the way we're treated? Is being faithful, respectful, honest, kind, and caring a reason to love someone or to be loved is there a physical or emotional reaction that is supposed to happen when we love or are loved? Some associate sex as love you don't love me because you're not getting it on the schedule you want. What determines love for us can only be determined by us, I believe it's different for everyone not an all around experience felt by all. With that I will explain why I asked this question, ever since I was a child I have never had a reaction to hearing the words I love you for me it's like hearing have a good day. It's a nice sentiment but I don't feel my heart strings being pulled. Please understand I love with every fiber of my being to those that I care about some more than others but I can't seem to feel it when it's told to me. I know that I'm loved but I wonder if something is broken with me, I feel fear of losing the ones I love, sadness if I lose them I can't imagine my life without my beautiful lioness and I pray every day that she knows how much I love her. I know she loves me by the way she treats me and that she tells me every day how much she loves me. I just want to know what am I supposed to feel when someone tells me they love me, the thought of ever losing her brings fear to me is that how I know I'm loved? From inside my own feelings and emotions I associate love with trust, loyalty, respect, caring, kindness every thing my beautiful lioness is and so much more. I know that from our past that it sometimes dictates what we determine love is for us in the future when finding someone who will either guard our heart or rip it to pieces. I am learning everyday how to reconnect my feelings with my heart so I may feel the same way she does when I tell her that I love her. I want to know what that feels like, to my beautiful lioness as you are now sleeping know in your heart how much I love you now and forever.  

Come Monday it will be our 3 week anniversary hard to believe that. Seems time goes by so fast lately, she's been at her job for a month now and I have gotten more done than I have in the 6 months before we met.  Update my son solved his own problem and we won't be having guest living here but were doing all we can to help him. She had my parents over for dinner and was such a host to my mother that my mother said I'm not used to this which I replied welcome to my world. She is the most amazing person I've ever known, in just a few short weeks we'll spend our first Thanksgiving together and I couldn't be more thankful than I am to have her in my life. She has been plotting with my parents about my Christmas gift and I have been plotting with her mother so all is fair in love and war. She had to work on Halloween but we were talking when my grandchildren showed up my grandson is enamored with her, my family loves her so much and I am very happy she knows that. We spent the day shopping for her a winter coat and she kept trying to buy me one always thinking about others before herself one of the many reasons why I love her. Things have been kinda stressful around here but it's getting better, lots of things we had to do to get her settled and her doing homework. As the days get colder and the holidays get near I hope everyone has someone to be with or support from family and friends this time of year can be brutal. Remember to take time for yourself, let the world slip away for a moment to breathe and relax before it spins out of control. Love you all. Lion ?

So I have to say I honestly didn't think I could ever find someone as special as my lioness.  Today is our one week anniversary of being married, on our wedding night my oldest son hit us with a bomb. Now for all that don't know I have a transgender child and it seems that my son in law has been mentally abusing my grandkids. Let me say being old has advantage over losing your shit and doing something that you will regret later. Now needless to say that by the middle of the week we are going to have my son, my grandkids and a dog moving in with us. Let me also say that I already have a dog and two temperamental cats so this is going to get really interesting fast trying to figure out how to make it all work. With Hazel eyes working afternoon to midnight, my son's job working late morning to evenings and two grandchildren going to school all day and me being up all night with my issues. The only thing I keep thinking is how special this woman is to pack up her life, move halfway across the country, get a job, and now deal with my family being thrown into the house. I truly am the most luckiest man alive to have her not run away screaming or packing her stuff and moving back home. To you my beautiful lioness you are stronger both mentally and physically than you give yourself credit for and always know how much I love you and appreciate you. I love you my angel. 

So like most you go to the store for two items and come home with a trunk load of stuff. It's been kind of crazy getting Hazel eyes settled in, got her titles changed for this state, her driver's license is next, we bought a motorcycle when we were just looking. So I have been her personal chauffeur ever since she got here and now am taking her to work every day since she started her new job. So yesterday we went to see my insurance agent about getting her insurance it was going to be high, came home and she called her company about updating her new location, price went up.  Understand that we had set a date to get married in a couple of years, but after hearing how much it was going to cost her for insurance I suggested we get married so we got a marriage license and as of 7pm October 14th my lioness is now my beautiful wife, I couldn't be happier knowing that she is mine forever. I'm sure some are going to think we are crazy but I can't imagine my life without her, she knows what I'm thinking before I do, we have so much in common it's kinda scary but in a wonderful way. Oh and when we stop by my parents house to show them the rings and let them know I told my mother that she will be all mine and can never leave, my mother said well you have ropes I'm sure you can keep her tied up that's what you enjoy. I about died, my mother does know her son, we just smiled at each other. To all I wish only the best and a big hug to all. 

I never really thought much of myself growing up, second child is always second to the first, hell my great grandmother wouldn't give me the time of day because I wasn't the first. I was diagnosed as hyper and in my era that meant I was retarded, Notes from teachers pinned to my shirt for my mother saying I needed special schools because something was wrong with me. I'm a Leo and always took pride in that, I knew I was strong and I'm defiantly not stupid by anyone that knows me. But with a life filled with being told so you have to fight yourself to find yourself, I did and as I tell people I'm the nicest most evilest person you will ever meet. Let me clarify this, I will treat you like the most important person in the world but cross me and they will never find you. Now let's fast forward to four months ago, I was depressed after fighting with one ex wife over my house, a second wife I was divorcing because she turned out to be just like my first. Then on here I meet this most amazing angel, she has been through hell and I do mean hell at it most significant worse, she has both the physical and mental scars to match. I have no clue as to way she would even give me the time of day but she does, we talk and talk and keep talking. She seems to know me better than I know myself, how is that possible hell I don't know me half the time and I live with me always. She's been here for a month I couldn't be happier, no amount of money or fame could ever shine a light on seeing her smile, laughing at my dumb jokes or just being next to me as she sleeps. Yesterday was my father's 77 birthday, her and my mother had made all the arraignments for us to take him to dinner I didn't do anything, I just had to be present. We got to the restaurant and she had them sing happy birthday for him all of this from a beautiful angel I met on here 4 months ago. After dinner we went back to my parents house, now let me fill you in on something, my mother has seen two other women in my life treat me like shit so she's a little hard on the women in my life. But after meeting her last week for dinner they seem to have more in common than most people. So while my father and I were talking shop, my mother was showing my beautiful lioness there home, when I went to see if she was ready to leave she informed me my mother had made her cry then showed me what my mother had gave her. It was a diamond cocktail ring about 3 carrots, to me I could have cared less but hey I'm a guy jewelry has never really mattered much to me but to her it was the most most special thing in the world and I understood. On the way home I ask her if she felt loved by her new family and she said yes, then I asked her if she wanted to go back home jokingly I got the death stare from hell but I deserved it. I have always treated people with the same respect that I wanted and why anyone would or could ever treat this beautiful angel the way they did confuses me, she is so perfect to me, she is not a super model, her body has scars, her mind has been hurt along with her feelings, she has suffered more than she should have but to me she glows with the light of an angel, has the strength of a lioness, the kindness of a child I will always do my best to make sure she knows how much I love her and would gladly give my life so she may live. To my beautiful lioness I say Se agapo forever.

So in less than a week my beautiful lioness starts training for her new job, so far she's adjusting to life here a thousand miles from her family. But yesterday I saw her frustration with some things and it made me realize how much I had grown up, you see we were trying to get her an account set up to pay personal property tax in this state so we can get her license for her vehicles changed over. Needless to say after driving to the court house we didn't have the proper paperwork this is where she got frustrated and I started to see her having what I call a mini meltdown. I stopped and reassured her it would be fine we would go home and get everything together and return in a day or so. To me it was no big deal just another trip to get some mandatory paperwork done so the state can take your money we all have to do it. In that moment I thought about how impatient I used to be, how I would have argued that I had the right papers and how wrong they were, how I now had to make another damn trip back. But on this day I calmly reasured her it would be fine, we have plenty of time thirty days to change the plates over. These last few weeks have been a wonderful learning experience for the both of us I'm learning what it's like to have someone that loves and cared about me in ways that surprise me at times, she's learning that she won't be yelled at for being human  though she dyed my socks baby blue. I love her more than I will ever be able to tell her so I'm trying my best to show her by hopefully taking the simple burdens of life like getting the right papers together for our next trip to the court house. Because one day in the future the only reason I want to go back to the court house is to get our marriage license, because as my mother said she's a keeper, something I already knew. ?

So this Sunday will mark 3 weeks living under the same roof, on October 4th it will be 4 months since we started the conversation that lead us here now. As I write this my beautiful lioness is sleeping, it's so nice to see her happy after what she has been through in her life. The past 3 weeks have been the most happy I have ever been, she has shown me a love I have never seen before, she spoils me like no other. I only hope that I can show her how much I love her and how important she is to me. She had met all of my family except for my mother and last night my parents came over for dinner,  to see them talk you would have thought that they had known each other for years. It makes me feel good knowing if something ever happens to me that my family will be here to protect her as they consider her their daughter. I got the pleasure of meeting her mother when we packed her stuff up to come back here and I talk with her almost every day I love her like she had raised me herself. Our future is starting to look brighter as the days go on, she just got her job here and we made a purchase together of a motorcycle for me so we can go riding together. In fact after my parents left we took a nice long night time ride. I can't imagine my life without her she is the angel who healed my broken, lost soul. For these last few weeks I get kinda shocked when I see her in the house it seems like a dream one I don't ever want to wake from.  To think we tell people that we met on E Harmony,  I could have never met someone this special on there. Love you forever my beautiful lioness .