Master and the Sub

Age and BDSM

3 years ago. February 2, 2021 at 2:40 PM

Ok, so just remember this is just my observation and thoughts no need to get your knickers in a twist.

Age appropriate, what does that truly mean? So if you go by that girl's mature faster than boys does this mean they can drive, drink, and see x rated movies first? Probably not because why? We have laws that govern at what age society thinks we're old enough to make a good decision.

I'm laughing my ass off right now as I enjoy my bourbon and think about all the times I didn't act my age. Don't get me wrong, some of us do make well informed decisions base on our intelligence level and education of a particular subject, others not so much.

So let's look at some facts, age for driving in most states age 16, age for drinking age 21 in most states, age to get married 17 with parents permission, varying from each state. Age to go to war and die 18, but can't drink, must be 18 to vote. Sweeping my area must be 21 to buy cigarettes.

So what is an appropriate age to dive, jump, run, fall, discover this lifestyle? We have all seen or read about other countries where older men marry extremely young girls, is this appropriate or right depends on how you were raised. I don't see it as a good idea, why because the girls have not been allowed to become women, just my opinion.

Let's discuss our own society, at what age is too old or to young, that all depends on you. We have all seen the old rich guy with the younger woman, look he's a fucking pervert. Older woman with a younger guy, look she's a cougar. I asked what is your age limit? 5 years, 10, 20, this is something that you have to ask yourself.

When I first read Hazel's profile I said Nope to young, why because I didn't think she would have anything to do with someone my age. I even tried to push her away, thank God she is stubborn or I would have missed out knowing such a beautiful, amazing woman.

Ok now let's point out the elephant in the room on here in this community. The young girls who are just old enough to join also the young men. Age limit being 18 to join, are they ready for this lifestyle?

Now I want to hear from both the doms and subs who are at this age along with anyone who started early. Why do you ask? Because at such a young age how do you know what you truly want without living life first.

I'm not being judgmental, it's because in my life I have had plenty of conversations with people who got married early in life only to divorce because they didn't sow their wild oats first. For all you youngins that means fuck a lot of people before getting stuck with only one.

I am one of those people, I can count on one hand how many sexual partners I've been with. Why my first marriage ended, she wanted a younger guy, I didn't have my first one night stand until I was in my 40s.

My beautiful lioness is 12 years younger than me, I truly couldn't believe she would want me but as her mother pointed out when I first spoke with her, age is but a number. Love has a lot to do with whom you chose to spend your life with. Age doesn't seem to matter if you're in it for the right reasons.

So in closing, does age matter in the lifestyle? Probably not but I will say being well informed, educated, and possibly acting your age as you see fit for what you want just might.

Bug hug to all, best wishes in finding what you're heart and soul desires.

P.s. I do expect to get some input here so I can better understand the whys. Have a wonderful day everyone. 😊🦁

TreasureMe(sub female){Consumed} - Lion....yes yes yes!!! So well put.

3 years ago

Virginie(sub female){lcpw} - i head cigarettes were going to be sold 21 and up but didnt know it happened. It just amazes me because while cigarettes are god awful, so is war. It just seems so arbitrary. I think its all ( all things being of legal age) an individual thing. So i guess the hope is in the BDSM scenario, a person whose just turned 18 finds someone they can trust to be honest with them and look out for them, laugh with them, cry with them, encourage and dissuade, and hopefully its a good enough match up that it all works out right? not much else to be done. i think? id love to hear if there is...

3 years ago

Virginie(sub female){lcpw} - *heard. i heard. minds always in the gutter lol

3 years ago

Lion(dom male){Hazel Eyes} - I have to get a ladder just to get to the curb. 😳

3 years ago

Jack in the box -
Lol, I always said "reach up to tie my shoes" 😏

3 years ago

KittyisWatching(sub female){Protected} - I was 17 when I was introduced to the lifestyle by my first Dom. He was 38 at the time and was my teacher. I dont think of him as anything other than my savior because he truly did save me from myself and saved my life.

3 years ago

Lion(dom male){Hazel Eyes} - Hazel was 19 when she met her first dominant, he refused her until she was 21. He wanted her to enjoy life and grow up first. I have heard plenty of great things about him and just wish I could have met him. He died saving her life which I will always be eternally grateful.

3 years ago

KittyisWatching(sub female){Protected} - Mine probably would have...but he pulled me into it when he began saving me from deteriorating entirely to an eating disorder I have and was having entirely too much trouble coping with at the time.

3 years ago

KittyisWatching(sub female){Protected} - There were other reasons after by but that was the initial.

3 years ago

Lion(dom male){Hazel Eyes} - I'm happy that you're still here to enjoy all that life has to offer. Big hug. 😊

3 years ago

Cressida Clytie(masochist female){Taken} - Just my very light opinion. Or experience perhaps. I'm 31 but I love mature gentlemen in their 50's.

People have preference but.. if you will meet that person that can give the same level of energy that you offer and if the compatibility is there, it is amazing that you can somehow willing to forget your preference and just accept the way things are.

But again, I'm no expert. Just my personal experience

3 years ago

Lion(dom male){Hazel Eyes} - Your opinion is very welcome, as long as you are happy that's all that matters. 😊

3 years ago

Jack in the box - Comment deleted by poster.

3 years ago

Grey Eyes(sub female){Owned} - From my standpoint, when I was looking I didn't want to consider anyone younger than my children. I just can't wrap my brain around that but kudos to those who can. I guess if I found someone who was stupendous who was an awesome match and younger than my kids, I could be convinced to change my mind. Instead I fell for a man a mere 7 months younger than I. Never happier. The thing to me is happiness.

Can 18 year olds understand true happiness either in vanilla or kink? An unusual person of that age could, but that's just it...an unusual one. I was very mature at 18 and there was no way that I made good relationship or sexual decisions then.

3 years ago

Lion(dom male){Hazel Eyes} - I agree, got messaged by subs way younger than my kids. Sorry but I couldn't do it with a clear conscious.

3 years ago

Cressida Clytie(masochist female){Taken} - Happiness... 👏👏

3 years ago

Sir Don(dom male){Nt looking} - I totally agree with Grey Eyes.

3 years ago

Satindragon{Not Lookin} - Being an older submissive like Grey Eyes I can’t wrap my head around being with someone who is younger than my children. But that is just my preference.

As for 18 year olds being mature enough for this lifestyle it depends on how well they educate themselves before they jump off the deep end.

3 years ago

Lion(dom male){Hazel Eyes} - Totally agree.

3 years ago

Max Sterne(dom male){Morley} - Personally I think it is too easy to get hung up on a number. It often, I believe, comes down to the level of maturity. If 2 people are compatible and have the maturity to handle they relationship they both seek then I don't see an issue. Again, just my opinion.

3 years ago

Sir Don(dom male){Nt looking} - As said in the comments above. Age is but a number. Age gap to the extreme can be totally awkward.
The young adults just getting into the lifestyle will be okay. With ages comes experiences and sometimes the road of hard knocks is best traveled without shock absorbers, to feel every bump. The know everything attitude has a limited warranty. Need to learn from mistakes.

3 years ago

Ingénue{VK} - 15 year gap here and happy as anything. Good for you and Hazel, Lion. Your questions in blog, all a bit arbitrary re minimum ages but yes, allowing people time to mature to adulthood together with an approach of looking out for the interests of younger adults here in a non-self-serving way is much to be commended.

3 years ago

OraclePollon(sub female){NotYours} - I think your youth is for learning. Sometimes that is with an older person, sometimes that is with someone as young as you, and you learn together. Do I think young people learning together have a better chance? Yes. Just an opinion on observation. Learning can be BDSM, though, it is hard enough to learn how to be an adult, like filing your taxes and paying bills on time and life management in general. They say that 30 is the optimal age. Both mentally and physically. I look a lot into telomeres and their potential to provide "eternal youth" and it isbsaid, that number is not 18... it is 30ish.

After your learning phase, should be your growth phase. If you are with someone who allows your personal growth, awesome! You found a keeper, regardless of age. For those who can't personally develop, or want something more, time to move on at this point.

Then you have the comfort and stability phase. As far as age goes for these three categories. I know 40+yo and older who still act like they did in high school, never had personal growth, thought it was all still about them. So does age matter? Not over 30 in my opinion. If someone hasn't hit the growth stage, they likely never will. Some are delayed, because they are with the wrong person too long in the learning stage, needing to grow, but with a partner who is not allowing them to.

I personally, think that you can find people at any age that have any of these attributes, but personal growth won't be mastered by a 20 year old, but if you are also just starting your growth phase at 35, you could be compatible. Not that it relates, but people who trope the "my soul mate is 30 years older than me" are still learning phase... imo, still. Yes people are 'unique but not in any significant way, you can find a 'soul mate'anywhere on the board, so don't go thinking that by being in a relationship, you "missed them" they will come around again, their name will just be Ted, instead of Fred.

3 years ago

Lion(dom male){Hazel Eyes} - Dear quikyrebel, please read all of it because you missed the point. I was neither condoning nor condemning age related relationships. I was 18 my first wife 16, it was doomed from the beginning, we faught most of the time in the beginning. Quit once we had children and time to grow up personally, lack of personal growth on both our parts. I was referring to arranged marriage that goes on in certain countries and cultures because there is no societal rules about how mature a person should be before engaging in a said relationship. Would it be appropriate for a 13 year old girl to marry a oh let's say 21 year old boy? My opinion no she is neither physically or mentally mature to handle such a relationship. Since you seem to know everything have you ever heard old men say (old enough to bleed, old enough to breed.) This is something from a time when life expectancy in this country was not very long. So back in them good old days it was fitting for a older man to marry a young girl and I stress very highly young girls. So in this wonderful age appropriate time we live in do you truly think it would be just fine to see a 13 year old girl with man in his 20s. We call them pedophiles and send them to prison. Since you're old enough to join this site, then your old enough to decide what age you want in someone, not my place to judge. I was opening up the floor for discussion about at what age should someone delve into this lifestyle, you missed my point that I didn't get here at a young age, suggest you read my blog why are you here then you might understand. In the future I suggest you read all of someone's blog before casting your misinformed comment, you just personally attacked me without understanding what the blog was about. See above comments only you went full attack mode, this was a way of getting people's opinions not a soapbox to condemn anyone. By the way, my beautiful lioness is from Baltimore, way younger than me, so why would you think I have a problem with age. Good luck and best wishes in finding what you want. 😊🦁

3 years ago

Sir Don(dom male){Nt looking} - Great response my friend , somtimes we as a older generation have lived through experience more than once and don't claim to be a expert about them. I was in a relationship longer than some of the peeps here have been alive. Every once in a while we come across a much wiser and more intelligent yougen. (Lol) Hugs to You and Hazel

3 years ago

OraclePollon(sub female){NotYours} - It's your own fault Lion... you stated right out the gate to not get your knickers in a twist... you should realize that could be a trigger for some to indeed, twist their knickers.

3 years ago

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Lion​(dom male){Hazel Eyes}

Master and the Sub

Age and BDSM

Lion(dom male){Hazel Eyes}