Salacious

Literate Lycan​(dom male) - Excellent words of wisdom.

slaveMikayla​(sub female)​{MstrJ } - Yes, and no. Yes, a woman who is interested in you will be open to conversation. However, to say she will be forthcoming is to ignore introverts and anyone who has a modicum of concern because they have been endangered or hurt before.

Sorry but how many women do you know who stalk and physically threaten men? Now flip those tables.

It is completely reasonable for a woman to not want to word vomit her life onto any dude who shows up. You as the Dominant do absolutely have to show a submissive you are trustworthy and reliable. that takes time, that takes consistent constant effort over TIME. Sorry if that makes you work for it. It isnt devaluing you, it is asking you to allow us to value our own boundaries.

OraclePollon​(sub female)​{NotYours} - Hehe, as an Introvert I got major anxiety and hopelessness reading that part! ^_^ was like *Shit... never gonna get a respectable man* xD kidding of course. My only thought is, if you want a woman that speaks 90% of the time, that is what you are going to get. You don't get to tell her to shut up 90% of the time after that, if that is who she is. Maybe think about if that is what you want.

slaveMikayla​(sub female)​{MstrJ } - *hugs* ambivert learning introvert to introvert *** gets it *** yes. <3

MstrJ​(dom male)​{~ENM~} - If I may, pose a quick question. At what point is a venture unproductive?

I believe you are absolutely correct, no one D or S wants to waste their time on someone who doesn't feel authentically interested in the relationship. But I would argue that there is a line between convincing someone of your value and simply putting in the effort of leading the s type and sharing with them aspects about who you are. It is the dominants responsibility to lead, and when you are testing the waters of finding compatibility taking the step to initiate conversation, ask questions and simply show up. Show up authentically and by doing that you will prove your value.

Everyone has led a different life, and each human has different needs and desires. Each person has been down a different path and some aspects of people's histories are clouded by fear, trauma and harm. It's not easy to be open about those things, especially if trust hasn't been formed between the two of you.

You are absolutely correct that those that are interested, compatible and desire to know you will ask questions and be inquisitive. They will stick around and work at earning trust and giving trust so that the relationship and dynamic will grow.

Sometimes though the s type is waiting for the right person to show up and prove that they are willing to work past the barriers and work past the distance and difficulties they encounter to prove their worth as a dominant.

But in order to do that each side has to put in the work. Although the dominant has to take the lead and should, to first show he is capable of giving his trust and working at earning it.

Sapiosexual - Wow, great responses, I appreciate your thoughts.

Jack in the box -
And the blog Mr C - great topic ?
Thank you

slaveMikayla​(sub female)​{MstrJ } - You earned a ton of respect from me for your ability to hold a conversation with differing views. *thumbs up* and nice to meet you, Salacious C.

Jack in the box -
Something I personally experienced - she was taught "let the man pursue YOU - make him show you how bad he wants you". Ill admit, I went through the gambit of confusing thoughts and mixed messages - but I never gave up -
She was testing me.
In the end, when I finally won her over - it was one of the deepest loves to date.

Sapiosexual - That's a great success story Jack! Thank you for sharing.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) - To add to the conversation, I took his initial blog at face value. Each man or woman needs to evaluate the situation they are in and determine how much time, effort and really emotion they should expend in the venture. There is obviously the chase. The interactions. The attraction. And you can feel the attraction as it evolves. But at a certain point, you can feel that “she’s just not that into you” and you might just be in the friend zone, at which time a gentleman steps back. The good gentleman, if I may be so bold, was pointing out not to devalue yourself by chasing after someone who may not see you in the same light as you see yourself with her. It’s important to determine if she even wants you to chase her, or if she feels like she “must interact” with you because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. (And this goes both ways, not just male to female, but female to male). In attempting to convince her, you may come off as needy, whiney and less and this will only present a greater barrier for you to overcome with her. It doesn’t cover every situation. But . . . Something to consider.

Jack in the box -
Well said. ?

God! This stuffs hard! ?

rosethorn​(sub female) - I needed to hear this today thank you. The past few times ive gone for a walk the same guy turns up.... doesn't tell me his name... asks if i have a man .... then where i live... and that he likes me (random stranger)
I know that isn't what your post is about but it was nice to hear someone acknowledge when to walk away because it can become really confrontational when 'no thanks' gets taken as offence or the guy thinks he needs to try harder. If she likes you she will find time.
Thank you for sharing :)

Jack in the box -
The past few times - going for a walk?
Yeah, thats definitely invasive, at best

Sapiosexual - Thank you Rosethorn for sharing. Perhaps my next blog for men will be on emotional intelligence and understanding basic body language.

Jack in the box - ?

slaveMikayla​(sub female)​{MstrJ } - "Perhaps my next blog for men will be on emotional intelligence and understanding basic body language. " This would be a great one!

rosethorn​(sub female) - Its an awkward balance of trying to be polite but firm at the same time, unfortunately some think because your not being hostile with your body language its a green light and your playing hard to get and some girls do so i do feel for guys which is why i try to be nice and then it blows up in my face. This isn't someone i know either its just some random guy asking if i would go out with him and where i live, then when i say no its always seems to turn into if i have a guy or a dad.... basically is there a man in the house.

A few weeks ago i thought i was being chatted up turns out he thought other guys would like me ....

I honestly have no idea what to do with that information.

Maybe find a new place to go for walks.

Sorry i took over your blog, its an awesome blog thanks for sharing.

Jack in the box -
Do be careful Ms Rose. ⚘

slaveMikayla​(sub female)​{MstrJ } - Amen to what ^Mr. Jack said. YIKES! For clarity, is this the same random stranger approaches you each time you walk, or a different one? (I'm also concerned for your safety!)

Sapiosexual - Hey, don’t apologize I’m glade you shared your thoughts and feelings. And I want to encourage anyone who has had similar experiences to what Rosethorn has shared and willing to offer their perspective, to do so.

slaveMikayla​(sub female)​{MstrJ } - I'll take you up on that actually. Recently I've been in a really uncomfortable and awkward situation on Fet where a person really became invested in my blog. He ended up messaging me, which was nice, and told me how much I had helped to grow his own walk with dominance. I appreciated that. My life got busy and complicated and I didnt log in for a few weeks. When I returned I came back to ... .ready.... over 50 messages from this man. The first one I read ended up being a countdown of sorts where he said he was giving me X many days to reply before he stopped contacting me. I was a bit flabberghasted. I probably should have ignored it, but I felt like I should explain that i hadnt ... "ghosted" there was no RELATIONSHIP. What i got back was, at first, this person basically telling me he had "kept his promise" to contact me daily and what a time sink I'd been.... um.... there was no such promise? At least none asked for or accepted on my side? So then logging in the next day I found his phone number in my inbox. ............................................................................... to which I just went "what the actual heck?!" Yeah. No. This person is not "being supportive" or being present, or showing that he will be consistent. This person is outright freaking me the crap out.