I find myself stuck in my own damned head. Thoughts are flying around in every direction, it’s hard to reel them in and focus, deal with what they are conjuring up. It’s what I’ve been feeling the last week or so. Part of me is struggling to find my way, the other part of me wants to stay screw it and go in a different direction.
The thing is...I don’t know what that direction is. I just know that right now I seem unsteady and faltering and feeling so at a loss as what to do. No real reason, but have an inherent sadness and fear of something, but I can’t quite put my finger on what it is.
If it’s the change of seasons, maybe it’s boredom... I really don’t know. My kids are good for the most part, my life is pretty good at the moment, yet I just wanna withdraw and hide in my house and never leave. it’s safe there, and quiet, and it’s peaceful.
I feel like I’m looking for something but I don’t know what it is, and I’m afraid that I won’t recognize it when I see it. Anyhow, I wish right now I was stuck on a beach in the Caribbean....