LongerJohnny(dom male){B&C}

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Self-absorbed nonsense, tinfoil panty conspiracies, random horseshit, spontaneous out-of-my-ass pullings, and a time or two when I made myself laugh.
Co-founder of ⭐The Elite Dream Team⭐
Co-founder of ⭐The Romantically Horny Club⭐

Who's Asking?

4 years ago. July 26, 2020 at 5:40 AM

It happens all the time. Someone is into something which you are not.

(Before we begin it is very, very important to understand that I just pulled this whole next paragraph out of my ass. No offense intended, just a attention grabbing example so keep reading.)

Let's say you are into poo. Which no one is. Sorry shitters, but gross, ick, pew!
They say to you "gross, ick, pew, how could you possibly be into that?"

Ok, moving on.
I just made a joke there about a scat fetish but it was sincerely just a lighthearted reference to a recognizable scenario, and totally, absolutely not a judgement. It was used only for effect and to make a point. To all those among us who do poo, I meant no disrespect.
I too have been asked that very same question many times about some of my kinks. I suspect we all have.

Here's my point. I don't understand a lot of fetishes. Even super common things like being a sub. I get it in theory but from a personal perspective it makes zero sense to me - yet every single day I'm grateful that it is a thing. I wouldn't have it any other way.

My opinion has always been that my fetish is no better or worse than anyone else's, and vice versa. I don't need to understand yours, or you mine, to be totally cool about it and god bless all of us, each and every one.

Fetish shaming, or whatever term you use, is a thing, it's fucked up, and needs to be stopped. To anyone who is guilty of doing it - Not Cool!

So here is what I'm asking everybody: is it just me or is "how could you possibly be into that?" kind of an insulting question?

Bunnie - I actually find the concept of “I’m not into it but it’s cool... you do you” rather offensive also. It’s like “oh gee thanks for your approval, how kind.” Lol. And that stupid “bdsm saying” of “your kink isn’t my kink, but that’s ok”... yeah that’s pure condescension.
The people I find to be truly genuine are those who are more like “oh, ok... I actually don’t know anything about that, so rather than walk away with a misconception of what I think it sounds like, would you be interested in sharing what it is about and what it means to you?” I have found many things I’m into that I didn’t know even existed, through asking others about their interests.
Education is what stops misinformation... which in turn helps everyone become that bit more open-minded.
Great topic to address :)

4 years ago

Mama Bear JJ(dom female){koa} - Lol great minds think alike 😉

4 years ago

LongerJohnny(dom male){B&C} - My friend Bunnie, either I am misunderstanding your response or maybe I just fell short of making my point because I think we probably are in agreement.
My point was that the notion of "You need to find a way to rationalize your interest in your thing" is nowhere near the same as "I don't understand and I am in no position to judge." I was not trying to say "I don't get you but, what the heck, I give you permission to do you." That is absolutely insulting and condescending. My opinion is that it is no one else's business to say what is and what is not acceptable. I may want to learn about it, I may not, but I would never insist that someone must teach their point of view or it is invalid. That's fucked up.
Using one tone "I'll do me, you do you." may sound like and even be intended as a "psshh, whatever" but I meant it as "There is always and absoutely room for every point of view and every like and every dislike of every person" irrespective of one's own personal preferences.

4 years ago

Bunnie - Hi Johnny, oh no, I wasn’t implying that you said any of those things, nor even really that I was disagreeing with what you said... I was simply responding to your question :D

4 years ago

LongerJohnny(dom male){B&C} - Whew! I was certain that I was so unclear in my wording that I failed to get my message across.

4 years ago

Mama Bear JJ(dom female){koa} - I don't think the question itself would be insulting for me. Instead, I would see it as an educational opportunity, a chance to explain my particular kink/fetish and what it means to me. It wouldn't be with the intention of changing their mind, but more towards helping them to maybe understand it and why people enjoy it. I ask people about their kinks/fetishes all of the time, whether I'm familiar with them or not. I love learning about why people enjoy what they do and the reasons behind them doing that. Maybe that's just me. I'd obviously never word it like that, because I respect people's differences. But, what can I say, not everyone has manners Mr Johnny 🤪

4 years ago

Mama Bear JJ(dom female){koa} - I'll add that the way they frame the question would make a difference. "How could you possibly be into that?" I wouldn't take that as an insult and would see it as an opportunity to educate. It comes across as more of a lack of information. "Gross, ick, pew, how could you possibly be into that?" That would be more of an insult to me because it is more of a judgment than the other question, regardless of whether it is also based on lack of information or not. Either way, that's a bad way to bring up someone's kinks/fetishes.

4 years ago

LongerJohnny(dom male){B&C} - I am not interested in changing anyone's mind in opposition to what they believe. I too ask people about their fetishes, in fact you and I have had (are having) a big long conversation about ours. I wish everyone could just get their weird on and not talk shit about anyone else's. I like my weird hahaha

4 years ago

Mama Bear JJ(dom female){koa} - What can I say, I'm a sharer and I'm curious little monkey 🙈🙉🙊... I have a need to understand others and to be understood by them. You don't have to be into the same things as someone else or change your own opinions in order to understand them. I think if more people took the time to understand others ... who they are, what they are going through, and why they do what they do, the world would be a better place. But that's probably just me being too nice and too naive 😇 ... At the same time, I think that people who insist on judging others and their choices/ refuse to understand or even consider listening when it comes to them should sit down and stfu 😈

4 years ago

GoddessAaliyah(switch female) - I agree with MissJuicyJess😊

4 years ago

LongerJohnny(dom male){B&C} - Yep, she's fun and a great person to talk to!

4 years ago

Jack in the box -
I suppose it might matter in what context the question was asked - like, is it a matter of physics "how . . .could you be in to that??" Lol, just playin. Good post Mr Johnny 👍
My mind tends to learn more towards the why, but I do not judge anyone - unless it is causing harm to someone else. I also agree with the girls ☝ (cause its just safer that way 😏)

4 years ago

LongerJohnny(dom male){B&C} - Thank you very much! This was an interesting conversation. My friend MissJuicyJess and I even had a long conversation about this topic away from here. To paraphrase her, I "opened the door." hahaha

4 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - I agree, kink shaming happens. It also happens when people use a kink title as an insult or speak about it negatively. It's like calling someone "a retard" or referring to an act as "retarded". I see it all the time around here, the subtle kink shaming.

As for them phrase, Your kink is not my kink but your kink is ok, while I understand your thoughts (Bunnie), I do not agree with them. We will have to agree to disagree I guess, however, I ALSO don't agree that it is a form of "giving permission" to the other person. I view it as a form of giving YOURSELF permission to be ok with not enjoying that form of kink.

For instance, I am not a slave. I cannot understand how someone could find that form of kink to be enriching over the long term (the short term, yes, and even I could participate for short scenes) but I think it would get boring over time. But that's ME and MY view and MY view is only correct, FOR ME. I APPLAUD slaves and their ability to enjoy that kink. I may not understand it, but I can appreciate those who do.

I have also tried to take the time to understand kinks that I'm not into. For instance, dollmaking. Not my thing, however, it doesn't mean I can't ask questions and explore the topic from an intellectual view. Knowledge is not only power, but it is freedom from fear and hatred.

4 years ago

LongerJohnny(dom male){B&C} - It turned out to b a more in depth question than I thought I was asking but I love when we get to have an involved conversation. I don't get a lot of stuff but I'm glad we have our things. Makes the world a lot more interesting!
Dollmaking. That's one I'm not familiar with. Is that like dollification or bimbofication?

4 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - That is exactly what it is, though, to my understanding, bimbofication might have a slightly different nuance. I'll bond Dollmaker and ask him if he would be kind enough to jump in here. We have had wonderfully long conversations about it and I have come to really enjoy his art for Art's sake.

4 years ago

LongerJohnny(dom male){B&C} - I was involved with a woman who was interested in bimbofication. I have researched it and there are all kinds of hypnosis scripts for it. I haven't listened to them because, well, I dont want to wake up with assplants

4 years ago

Just Jessy(switch gender queer){Owned} - "Assplants" LOL!

4 years ago

LongerJohnny(dom male){B&C} - sadly, those are a real thing. and they are for exactly what you think they are for. google "butt stuffing"hahaha

4 years ago

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Scribbles

Who's Asking?

LongerJohnny(dom male){B&C}