" The hardest thing to do in the world is deciding to let go of one you love, when all you really want to do is hold them forever. "
Relationships, imho, exist, thrive, and endure on three basic needs being met. The need to be loved, the need to be wanted, and the need to be needed. Yes there are many other facets and even more details that have to combine to create a lasting dynamic, but I feel eventually, they all support one of these three fundamental cornerstones that make up the basic structure of a dynamic,
"The need to be loved"
Simply put, to find somebody you can truly love, and they truly love you in return, the ying to your yang, your "Zing", your hearts desire. That person who ignites those long forgotten fires buried deep within your soul, at the innermost core of your basic existence. It is she (or he) that life's future would seem empty and barren without.
"The need to be wanted"
In a physical sense, certainly, but that is a physical need, the true cornerstone lies in being wanted FOR YOU, for being the person that you are, and as some would say, and most would disagree, "to feel deserving of being wanted", but more accurately described imho as discovering somebody who wants to share their life with you, as you wish to share theirs, wholly and completely.
"The need to be needed"
I cannot, do not, and will not attempt to speak for any living being other than myself on this one. But in a dynamic, it is critical that I feel needed by my partner, and likewise, that I let them know I need them as well. Call it Dom weakness if you will, but I consider sharing that most primitive emotional need with my partner, and filling it for them as well, to be one of the most basic and binding threads two people can share. It is beyond D/s, beyond love, reaching far and deep into the most primitive areas of the heart, and consequently, one of the most fragile.
It was for the last that I parted ways with my cherished friend this day. Everything was there, and it was there from the moment we started talking. It blossomed and grew into a young, vibrant, and exciting dynamic whose future seemed to have possibilities beyond the dreams of avarice. A feeling she, in time, had awoken in me that I have not felt in many, many years.
And it ended today for all the same reasons it began. Out of love. She was too much a lady to ever tell me herself, She loved me too much to ever hurt me in that manner. Had I let it be, it would have easily continued on, and she would have allowed it to continue, meanwhile making a sacrifice I could never willingly allow. But in my heart I knew the unspoken truth, I had felt it for some time, yet selfishly ignored it to be able to keep holding on to a rare treasure I had found, if only to continue to feel my soul holding hers and no other.
But today I approached the issue head on, and discovered the simple truth that she did not need me, not really. She loved me, and I her, she wanted me, and I her, and I needed her, but this was the one part of the dynamic that could not be reciprocated. You cannot fabricate this, you cannot fake it, it either is or it is not. And yet, this beautiful creature would have remained with me, had I allowed it, or even simply requested it. But without that missing thread, I would be denying her the chance she deserves, I would prevent her from finding the one she will love, want, and need. So in my best stoic, iron man Dom impression, I set her free to find her future....
So, I begin my quest again, but I do so with no regrets, and my honor intact. But mostly, I once again leave behind a small part of me with her, and I hope it somehow guides her to the happiness she deserves...
~ID~
