This Sub's Space

I say that and then think of what the weekend will bring . . . trying to get a tire fixed so I can hopefully get to the end of November before I have to buy new ones . . . more reading and studying and homework assignments due . . . so much adulting is on my plate . . . 

I am hoping that come Monday I can start new habits and routines to make me a better me . . . morning workouts and meditation/introspection on who I am/what I need in my life . . .  I am solely responsible for me now and have no one to blame but myself if I don't do what I have to do . . . it may be slow, it will be painful but dammit if I won't come out better on the other side . . .

FAILURE IS NOT FALLING DOWN, IT IS NOT GETTING BACK UP AND LIKE A PHOENIX I WILL RISE!

The sun rose today and it was a beautiful, rather warm day (especially for the end of October). And I will take it. I don't think I could have handled a cloudy day gray today. And I am hearing rumors it will be a nice day on Saturday so I am thinking I may head to the shore and do homework there. There's no such thing as a bad day at the beach. One of my happy places. The other is the woods but I have too much to get done to go hiking. So I do think my happy place is telling me to come and visit. Bury my feet in the sand, listen to the birds and the waves and just be at peace. 

I'm sure everyone reading this has a happy place. I have been away from mine for way too long at this point. I think it's time to make me a priority again. 

OCEAN

The waves crash on the sand

Coming and going 

Over and over

There is no rhyme or reason to it

All of my senses engaged

The taste of the salty air

The feel of the ocean breeze

The smell of the low tide

The sound of the birds talking

The view of the sand and water

Here there is peace

No matter the season 

Or the tempestuousness of the waves

Just for a moment

Nothing else matters

10/26/23

I am a masochists, well at least physically. I've had some intense impact scenes and the orgasms and subspace are freaking amazing. But man my feelings, you can hurt them with a feather and there is no pleasure in that at all. And sometimes people and family, chosen or otherwise, can just be so hurtful. And the best part is when they blame you for the whole situation anyway. 

PAIN

Plenty of emotions

And never-ending fear

Incapable of rational thought

Not when near the tears

Peace - why are you so far away

Always just outside my reach

Inescapable feelings

Never what I need

Presence 

Acceptance

Introspection

Newness

Patience in waiting

Always wondering what went wrong

Insecurity not holding me back anymore

New beginnings on the horizon

10-25-23

Once upon a time, I always used to think about starting a blog but have always been to chicken to share my thoughts and really never knew how to get started. So here goes nothing . . . My name is Meli. I've been in the lifestyle for a few years but have been curious my whole adult life again to chicken to explore. Wow sensing a theme here. But hey, I won't bore you with all the details. Today I'll just share a little something I wrote after my first impact scene. 

Just Feel

The pain was exquisite

The dominance euphoric

To just be was orgasmic

I didn’t have to think

I didn’t have to decide

I had to submit

I had to feel

The chatter stopped

The silence calming

The strength in submission breathtaking

I didn’t have to think

I didn’t have to decide

I had to submit

I had to feel

The sensations so new

The emotions so raw

The feeling so true

I didn’t have to think

I didn’t have to decide

I had to submit

I had to feel