Indigo Blue

Not my normal self fam

Feeling down and depressed 😔. Beast gets mad at me when I talk bad about myself. I feel lost and useless. Beast got me a beautiful violin for Christmas. I have always wanted to play and he said I need a hobby. Now I am teased by my children and don't want to do it anymore. I have no hobbies and because I only work 4-5 hours a day doing Amazon Flex I have alot of free time. My mind wonders to all the terrible things that happen last year. Not going to rehash just read back through my blogs if you need to catch up. I always look to my community for support. You all have been in my corner more that anyone in the vanilla world...even my own family. I just want to dissappear from this world. 😩 it's not the same anymore. My dynamic is even suffering. Beast is great and will crawl over broken glass for me....I just feel like I am in my own private hell. 😭😭😭😭

Indigo

"Somtimes life has to take you through a thorn bush so you can appreciate the beauty of the rose"

~unknown~

  Have you ever wondered "why me"

  Why do I always fall for the wrong ones? It's a life lesson my sweethearts. Not every road is going to be clear or every water way smooth sailing. Unfortunately sometimes we do get hurt along the way, but it's about how we bounce back and what did we learn that make us better. Helps us make better choices. As it relates to the lifestyle, I always say proper vetting is important. Taking your time to really get to know a person. When the right one comes along you will know it. Take strength from those bumps and lumps we have received to know who is "The One". Only then will you "Love the love they give". I am fortunate that I have found that love in my Dom. It's out there for everyone!!! If you are not sure or need help this community it a mighty one. Inbox and ask a experienced Dom or Domme. There are plenty that would be willing to answer questions. Also experienced sub will help guide you as well. I hope everyone finds that "ONE" and Love the love they give.

Peace

Indigo

Hello Indigo Fam,

   Two years ago I got a message here on The Cage. It was from a Dom named Latinobrusier. He was nice even though when I checked his profile the picture looked like he was mean. We chatted day and night for 3 weeks. That lead to phone calls and eventually a meet in person. Beast has been more than just a Dom, he has been my whole world. He has been by my side sickness and health(Physical and mental breakdowns). We have traveled some and camped alot. He has seen me through surgery  the death of my daughter and grandson. He discovered my little side and is my Daddy Dom as well. In the vanilla world he has been a great father figure to my girls.  I couldn't ask for a better man in my life. I love you Beast with all that I am.

Peace 

Indigo(Thumper)

Hello Indigo Fam,

 Sorry I am a week late, but Happy New Year  to my community!! I am excited to share what happened New Years day. 

Beast(Sir) has a cousin in the lifestyle and we went to visit him and his sub(wife) on New Years day. He showed us their play room and the WIDE array of floggers and crops they use. They did some demos for us then we tried some out ourselves. Ok so before I get blasted Beast only used the the floggers that could be sanitized on me. I was shackled to a cross(my first time) and it was soooo much fun. Then we did mousse fire. Again first time and I LOVED IT!! I am always cols due to my health issues. The warm fire racing around my back was pure pleasure! Then we did glow in the dark wax. His cousin did the wax on his sub over her genital area. I am terrible at shaving so Beast did my back. Super sensual and warm. It was a great start to the new year. I highly recommend trying the mousse. You tube it if you are not familiar with the practice. 

Peace

Indigo

Hello Indigo Fam,

     Last few months your girl has been doing some reflection. A lot has happened since May in my life. Not going to recap....if you are a true part of my Fandom you have read or will go back over my blogs and read to catch up. I have been doing several types of therapy to deal with my grief.  Lately I have returned to mentoring sub and I have a new little sis. It's not quite poly, but my Daddy is a surrogate/protector for her while she is out looking for her own. It's long distance as we are in Michigan and she Illinois, but it's been a fantastic experience. She gives Daddy a run for his money sometimes lol. It's a great distraction from the depression I was living in. This brings me to today's blog...healing time.

   No one should EVER tell you how long to grieve. Your time line is set by your heart and situation. How you go about healing is your own as well. I choose my lifestyle and community, my dynamic to assist in my healing. I love sharing Daddy he has a big heart and is a great teacher for my little sis. He has maintained a perfect balance between time for both of us. He is such a wonderful Daddy Dom. 

Guidance is very important for New subs. Most are not sure what direction they want to go in. Hats off to the genuine D/DD/M out there with the patient to help us along...even if you are just a surrogate/protector/temporary owner. I was contacted by one of my little friends two weeks ago. I hadn't heard from her in a while. She said she knew I was going through my own issues and she didn't want to bother me, but she really needed to talk to me. She proceeded to tell me about her escape of an abusive Daddy that made her life hell. Mental, physical, financia the whole gambit. She is safe now back with her parents. I am so glad she survived to tell her story. There are soooo many predators out there. Please be careful, please vet thoroughly, and remember it's never too late to call it off. Your safety is first. Most important don't be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes it's not about the advice, but when you talk/type it out you kinda answer you own questions and doubts. 

Sorry this ran long. Love you all and remember I love comments below or inbox.

Peace

Indigo 

Hello Indigo Fam,

   For those of you that have been following my journey you know this year has been a real roller-coaster for me. Feeling down and GRAY has me clinging to my Dom hard. I am a reader and researcher. I found a few articles and videos on YouTube about grief/traumatic experiences and BDSM. I found that play time can actually help with stress. I also talked with an experienced sub and she gave me something to try. Fam...let me tell you it worked. I was told to put my headphones on in the hight volume setting I could stand drowning out all outside noise. Something soothing on play. I chose Enigma  and Art of noise. Blind fold tight to keep out all light,Then start scene. It was incredible. I was able to relax and totally enjoy every thing Beast was doing. You all know I share everything with you all. Let me tell you it was so intense, eat your heart out 50 shades of GRAY lol. I came super hard several times. If anyone else has tips I would greatly appreciate it. 

Peace

Indigo 

Hello Indigo Fam,

      So I know it's been a while....long while. I have been dealing with personal tragedy. Over the last few weeks I have been slowly and quietly reentering the community. I even have a sub sister we are vetting. So this brings me to the topic of discussion. Someone sent a unnecessary message to this new sub attacking the fact she has a cat for her profile picture. Saying no self respective Dom wants a cat lady as a sub. That was so unnecessary. I see so many people on here that have animals as profile pics. Hell I have 2 cats at home is that a cat lady starter kit? Just asking. Not going to reveal more about her because I don't want her to get spooked. Please leave good comments and advice I can pass along to her. 

Peace

Indigo 

Hello Indigo Fam, 

  Last we spoke I came to my community with horrific news. I have been in hiding trying to deal with the pain. My Dom Latinobrusier has not left  my side since I got the news. Last week I initiated a scene to try and take my mind off my pain. It started fine, but he could tell things were still off with me. It ended with him holding me in his big strong arms till I went to sleep. We live the lifestyle 24/7 and even though I am dealing with this huge loss, I feel neglectful of my duties as a sub. No, my Dom does not make me feel this way, This is all me. Please help me, my mind is all over the place.

Hello Indigo Fam, 

  You all know I am an open book lifestyle or vanilla. I need your strength today. Last evening I was informed they found my 22 year old daughter dead. Badly decomposed, unrecognizable. I had to identify her by her tattoo. I have Beast with me, but I need my community. She was actually apart of the community as well. I will not release her Cage name for private reasons. I need help.

Indigo 

Hello Indigo Fam, 

  I know it's been a while....I need your help desperately. I am in another group that is female subs only. They keep saying they are "old guard" when I looked up OG all I got was info about when the men came back from the war and form the secret society that is now the base of BDSM. It seem more like if you are a sub under OG you don't have ANY say so. You submit completely to where your every move is dictated to by your Dom/Domme/Master etc.. please I need a straightforward answer on the definition and rules of OG. Can someone help me please.

Indigo