If you have been following me you know that I have struggled with being there for my husband and letting go. Always felt like I needed to be there no matter what he did and that I somehow was still supposed to be there for him when he got sick. Even though our marriage was basically on paper only except when he needed care. Yes, I knew he was using being sick to get out of trouble with me sometimes. Like he does some shit that I would try to distance then somehow he'd get sick and I would have to focus on that. Was I aware of this? Yes, but I honestly can't explain why I would let him suck me back in with it.
Letting go is not easy for me, when I care for someone it takes alot to be absolutely done with them. Guessing that I just hadn't gotten to that point yet. Now I have, I don't want to go into what happened but needless to say, it crossed that line for me. The only time I talk to him is when I need the shared vehicle, he has tried to "need" me with a broken foot (wonder how that happened at the same time huh). He doesn't know what to do now he's tried the greatest hits that would have brought me around before but outside of dying, I am done. Sticking to that is easy I don't feel the need to take care of him at all.
What a weight lifted off me, I am free and it feels great!
