PawPawGirl(sub female){Azzabackam}

Musings of a submissive

Ramblings and rants

Learning to Apologize

3 years ago. May 5, 2020 at 6:58 PM

One of the biggest protocols I have had to learn has been that of the apology. When my master first asked me "What should you say?" My first thought was, I have no clue. I re-read what he had said to try to figure out where he was coming from. I felt a little embarrassed and so didn't let him know I was unsure of what to do. So, once again I am researching. There is a lot out here, but here is what really resonated with me.

Step 1: Initiate the apology. “I’m sorry...” “Please forgive me...” “I apologize...” “I beg your pardon...” "I'm sorry, please forgive me for..."

Step 2: Admit the mistake or offense. “I was unaware...” “It was not my intention to disrespect or displease you.”

Step 3: Let your Dom know that you don't intend to make this mistake in the future. “I will make every effort to ...”

Step 4: Ask the Master what you can do to correct your mistake, be it punishment or a merciful do-over. “Please allow me to ...” “May I ...now, Sir?”

Step 5: This is not really a step...Any apology needs to come from the heart. Even if you don't understand what you did, understand that it hurt your master in some way, and that is something we subs never want to do.

If you have any suggestions or there is something that I forgot, please comment. I am not just here to express my thoughts, but to learn from those who have gone through this or are going through this as well.

Thanks

Dellydoodah(neither female) - Step 6 : ask yourself if you have anything to apologise for

3 years ago

PawPawGirl(sub female){Azzabackam} - but shouldn't I apologize for making him feel like that? Maybe "I'm sorry you felt like that"

3 years ago

Grey Eyes(sub female){Owned} - I have an opposite issue. I apologised for everything, real or imagined. I didn't even realize that I did it until my Sir and I started talking. It was a learned response from my prior marriages and childhood. With my Sir's help I am learning to stop the apology....and there are punishments if I forget and slip into my old ways.

3 years ago

Max Heathen(other male) - I think apologies are situational. For a person to be offended by something said doesn't necessarily mean that what you said shouldn't have been. In such a case you are becoming an enabler setting up for a repeat of the same poor response.
If the offense is real, then as you stated above (very nicely done btw) an apology is in order but to apologize with your words or immediate response is only the first step of a true apology... Making every effort to not repeat the same error comes into play and this is where most people blow it. They think "I'm Sorry" fixes the gaping hole created. It does not. Every time that situation rears its ugly head, the offended will withdraw emotionally until they see that you truly are "sorry" and seek to better your self, thus causing them to open up and hopefully give themselves to you once again, fully.
Something I've said for along while now: No matter who the victor is in the verbal warfare, both sides lose. If we approach our mates with such forethought perhaps we would do less apologizing and more love making ;)
Loved the write up!

3 years ago

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PawPawGirl​(sub female){Azzabackam}

Musings of a submissive

Learning to Apologize

PawPawGirl(sub female){Azzabackam}