PawPawGirl(sub female){Azzabackam}

Musings of a submissive

Ramblings and rants

Broken Together- One Big Glorious Hot Mess

3 years ago. May 31, 2020 at 8:53 PM

' what do you think about when you see me? I know we're not the fairytale you dreamed we'd be.'

So starts the song "Broken Together" by Casting Crowns; about a relationship falling apart because of unmet expectations and mistakes made, but don't most relationships fail because of these things? If you have read my previous post about the perfect Dom you know where I am going with this. No one, no matter how wonderful, can live up to that ideal all the time.

'How I wish we could go back to simpler times. Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light.'

Yes. I wish I could go back in time and undo mistakes. But these scars and secrets I carry have led me here. This beautiful hot mess is me and I own it. Keeping it in the dark doesn't make life any better in the long run. If we waited to be completely healed and baggage-free before doing anything or loving anyone, we'd be stagnant and alone forever. As a fairly intelligent woman, I've made some very unintelligent choices, but those mistakes do not define me...just as your past does not define you.

What has happened to us that we expect others to show us forgiveness and grace but we refuse to do so to those around us? Is that why we try to hide our secrets and scars? Aren't you tired of the mask you are wearing? Tired of walking on eggshells because you fear that those who love you will love you only as long as you fit their nice neat package?

'Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete. Could we just be broken together? If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine, Could healing still be spoken and save us? The only way we'll last forever...is broken together.'

The next sub...the next Dom...( maybe this sub or this Dom) is going to break your heart in some way, make you mad, make you cry...You may even act emotionally immature. Someone is going to bruise the other's ego or hurt their feelings at some point in time. We are only human. We will make mistakes, but how many times do we give up on someone only to find the next person hurts us in some way too?

There is nothing wrong with having high expectations. There is nothing wrong with feelings, they make our lives richer, but I think when we let emotions rule everything, and when we don't help each other grow and evolve, we find ourselves repeating the same patterns over and over, and I for one want to get off that particular crazy hamster wheel.

So show me your scars; tell me your secrets...I will be here to help you work through your emotional melt-down (because it happens to each of us at some point); I will walk with you as you grow and evolve and not judge you. You are going to make mistakes, fall down...I will be here to help you stand back up and keep going...It's okay to be broken together.

Just a thought

slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ } - * well said.*

3 years ago

Azzabackam(switch male){PawPawGirl} - I think the most successful relationships are so successful because they cross this median at some point. People start relationships knowing very, *very* little about each other. Even childhood friends, or highschool sweethearts who come back together, don't know shit about who the person is now, and neither know anything about the people they will be later in life. Easily the biggest hurdle of a relationship is learning about your partner's faults and coming to accept them. My first girlfriend had cheated on all of her previous husbands (well, technically. Long stories, all of them). Cheating is my primary hard limit in a relationship, one of few things that'll make me drop someone on the spot.

So... that was a big ass spoonful of cinnamon to swallow. But, I figured she hadn't done anything to *me*, so she deserved a chance, and I got the best relationship I've ever had out of it. That took a lot of introspection and clear thinking out of me, and I don't think most people have it in them to do that. And that was something that was just in her past. Faults that're directed at you/directly detrimental to your life take even more to surmount. And all that's even if you *want* to move past them. Sometimes you get to know somebody, find their fault, and it's just something you don't want in a partner. It's not that they did something wrong, it's just y'all aren't compatible in the end.

3 years ago

PawPawGirl(sub female){Azzabackam} - I had a relationship implode recently. As I spent the past several days going over it, taking ownership of my shit, and not receiving his, I remembered this song and thought about how it really applied to our situation. It was cathartic for me to get it out there in the universe.

3 years ago

Azzabackam(switch male){PawPawGirl} - That little "exhale period" after a relationship, where you can breathe easy and look back on it with hindsight, that's a nice place to be.

3 years ago

Mama Bear JJ(dom female){koa} - I recently experienced the end of a relationship with someone ... for the second time in the last year. We both came into it with scars and issues. We also both came into it with mental health issues, very different ones.
The first round of our relationship ... there was lots of patience, understanding, and support ... but there was also way too much trying to fix each other's mental health issues and both of us setting aside our own problems, wants, and needs to do all of the above.
The second time around ... we went into it understanding that neither of us needed to be fixed. Our mental health issues weren't something that could be, but they could be managed better. We worked on that, both got better, and grew even closer.
In the end, it didn't really matter or change anything though. When it came down to it, even with our mental health issues both being managed well ... they just didn't fit together, they clashed and ended up with there being needs that would never be met.
For me, the need that couldn't be met was the one most important to me and most important for me being able to manage my own mental health issues. Ending it was hard, but necessary 😞

3 years ago

slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ } - It is incredibly important and mature of you to come to that decision though. As hard as it is, you did well, Jess. You both deserve to find the person who makes you better, stronger, healthier, and happier. You will. ♡

3 years ago

PawPawGirl(sub female){Azzabackam} - If we aren't stronger and healthier, we aren't good for anyone else. Like they say when you are a parent with your child on an airplane...put your oxygen mask on first.

3 years ago

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PawPawGirl​(sub female){Azzabackam}

Musings of a submissive

Broken Together- One Big Glorious Hot Mess

PawPawGirl(sub female){Azzabackam}