All my life I have tended to avoid confrontation in my relationships, trying to not rock the boat. It was ingrained in me at a young age, I spent my childhood walking on eggshells, not wanting to incur my mother’s wrath, or disrupt my father’s schedule in any way.
I don’t want that kind of relationship. I want to be able to speak my mind without fear, to share my thoughts without being made to feel insignificant. I need to learn how to fight with my partner in such a way that brings us together and not drive us apart.
So, in typical PawPawGirl style, I began researching. Actually, it is very simple. No matter where I looked, they all had the same thing to say;
1. It’s ok to disagree, question, get upset
2. Discussion is not the same as dialogue...both partners get a chance to speak with the goal of resolving an issue (discussion)
3. Listen to understand when the other is speaking...don't listen to speak.
4. Ask clarifying questions
5. Paraphrase what they said to make sure you understand
6. Be willing to compromise
Hmmm. If these steps have been successful for Adaptive Schools, in business and personal relationships...the world at large really needs to wake up and get a clue.
This blog took a broader scope than I had originally planned. Sorry...not sorry.
