Letting go of someone who is not good for you (for whatever reason) can be hard, whether it is an ex or a friend; that’s where I am in regards to a male friend. It’s not that he is a bad person or was a bad friend, but our friendship is not going to be good for my relationship with my Dom in the long run. I thought that if we kept it platonic that we could keep what we had, but I was mistaken.
Growing up my best friends had usually been boys, with the exception of two. I have never been one that could deal with the drama and games that come with typical female friendships. I got to an age where my best friends were getting married or in serious relationships, and our dynamic had to change; it made me sad and a bit angry then, but I understand it more clearly now. The inside jokes and history that we had, while platonic, were sometimes threatening to their romantic partner; our adventures had to come to an end, and let's face it, there is a reason they say “three is a crowd” (in the platonic friend vs romantic partner triad).
Things that were said in silly fun with my friend now take on a new meaning. I tried, with my partner’s full support, to try to keep the friendship alive with some clearly defined boundaries, but it just wasn't happening, and so the time has come to let it (the friendship) go. My feelings for my friend haven’t changed, I still care about him very much, but I need to end it now so that the memories of our friendship remain happy and wistful instead of corroded by anger and regret.
No one should be forced to give up their friendships when they are in a relationship, but those friendships will invariably evolve, and sometimes we have to be willing to sacrifice our friendship in order for the relationship with our partner to move forward.
Someone once told me that throughout our life, there will be friendships that last forever, but there will also be those people that are meant to be with us for just a brief period of time. Looking at it that way, it was never about sacrifice, it was just about a friendship that had run its course.
