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Co-founder of ⭐The Elite Dream Team⭐
Co-founder of ⭐The Romantically Horny Club⭐

DIY

2 years ago. November 5, 2021 at 7:03 AM

Those times when a close friend does something you strongly disapprove of.

Like disciplines their children by hitting them.
Or cheats on their partner
Or betrays a mutual friend.
Or is about to make the same mistake they've made 100 times before - once again insisting that "this time it is/will be different."

And, because you are a close friend, you wonder.

Should I tell my friend that I their dislike their behavior?
Should I inform the partner or friend who has been wronged?
Should I remind my friend about the first 100 times they made the same mistake?
Should I just shut the fuck up and mind my own damned business?

What is a close friend supposed to do?

DaddyPP​(dom male) - If they are a close friend they should value your opinion given as such. If you were on the other side wouldn't you want to know? Something ong the lines of, "Hey man, you know we are close, and I have a lot of respect for you. I need to tell you something you may not like, but know it doesn't change our friendship." Then lay it out.
They may or may not change, and it may end a friendship, but in the end you were true to you, and that is what matters.
2 years ago
SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} - If there is true and auntentic trust and value, then while it may be difficult, you should be able to voice your opinion. They don't have to follow it, but you should be able to voice it.
2 years ago
LongerJohnny​(dom male) - These scenarios are entirely hypothetical of course. But to answer the question: as I sit here right now I think I'd prefer they told me. However, in the moment my feelings about it may change, then who can say what happens afterward.
In any case, I'm proud to say that I have never hit my kids, or cheated on a partner, or betrayed a friend.
(I mean, I don't have kids, but still.)
2 years ago
ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) - Well for my close friends, I’ll say something and I hope they’d say something to me. In some cases, I’ve had to pull back from a friendship if our values were so out of alignment. I think part of being a good friend is holding each other accountable.
2 years ago
mab{Thiers } - Relationships are often not black and white, all or nothing. You know your friend and it is clearly something you need to express to them. Recently a friend did something hugely disagreed with to the point that I had lost respect for her- this was despite my kindest protestations against it. But people are allowed to be themselves. These things do affect your relationship with them but she hasn't lost it completely and I still enjoy all the others things about her. It may simple be an evolution of yourself and/ or your friendship. That isn't a bad thing... And look on the bright side- at least you have friends ..
2 years ago
Sensual City Girl{ForeverHIS} - A close friend will ALWAYS remind and warn you about the 100 times before. And depending how close you are, tell you even more candidly the real truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth how stupid you are if you do that again. 🤨😏
2 years ago
RedKat{Not now } - As usual, I speak my mind but I say it with love. I have crossed many bridges since I have been away from here for a short while. Striving my best to focus on me and my wants and needs, but along the way I am treating people like I would want to be treated. Compassionate and genuine people are very few and far between to run across...
Interesting topic, thanks for sharing.
2 years ago
A Cloud​(sub female){Owned} - Consider the place this is coming from - is it to do with your own principles or standards of behaviour? Is it compromising theirs? Is it about the impact it has on others? Be humble and don't judge too harshly as our frustration is often related to our own ego rather than coming from a place of love and safety. Just my two cents of course.
2 years ago
Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne} - Wow! There's lots in this post, hypothetical or not. It has me thinking 🤔

So first you know me and I'm not a beat around the bush (hahah stop it) girl. I'm straight up and believe honesty is the best policy, even if it hurts and is brutal. However with that said, circumstances are key, so I will address your hypothetical ones:

Hitting children as discipline? I don't believe in "hitting" a child, spankings (light) are okay. But to each parent their own choice as long as they don't abuse the child, which hitting can be abuse.

Cheats on their partner? Well there's no honesty in that, although mistakes and circumstances happen. I think that would fall under losing my respect if it was a constant thing and not a one time (which I will speak to below). Telling the partner? If they're not your friend (only by association), then Hell NO! That's something I don't get into. If both parties are my friend. I would express to the cheater the lost of respect from me. If they continued, like having an affair and I felt my friend, the one being cheated on, was hurting, then yes, I would say something although that situation never ends well. To tell or not to tell, either way you're in a bad situation.

Betrays a mutual friend? This can be tricky. If they betrayed another friend, then that speaks to their moral standards and that they are probably not trustworthy at all. Do you tell the mutual friend? It depends on the betrayal. Circumstances again are key.

Makes the same mistake 100 times but says "this time it is/will be different."? This is repetitive behaviour, and you know I watch behaviour... After the 3rd time, I would be very verbal about my concerns, and set a boundary that was healthy for me and let them know how the future of our friendship would play out if continued.

Well that's my two cents 😜
2 years ago

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