Who's In Charge Here?

In a big way, the person who's in charge in any consensual relationship is whoever has their hand on the brake.

Consent means that things only proceed if everybody involved wants to move forward, r ...

Sun Apr 11, 2021 4:47 am • 14 Replies • 4375 Views

How to find an experienced Dom？

A good way to find local community is to go on Fetlife.com, use the "Places" tab to find the nearest sizable town to where you live, and look for groups and events associated with that place.

For g ...

Thu Apr 08, 2021 1:01 am • 16 Replies • 6055 Views

Is Chivalry Dead?

Unfortunately I think men are becoming afraid to be chivalrous. Opening a door for a woman these days gives them (I would hazard a guess at) a more than 50% (probably likely about 80%) chance of being ...

Mon Apr 05, 2021 4:37 pm • 57 Replies • 14509 Views

Ponderence: Caffeinated or Decaffeinated?

I don't think that disobedience (and the punishment thereof) is the only way to display an exchange of power.

If I say "Get me a cup of coffee," in a high-handed authoritarian tone that doesn't sou ...

Sun Apr 04, 2021 5:35 pm • 38 Replies • 6927 Views

Is Chivalry Dead?

I love this explanation from a delightfully foul-mouthed classicist.

https://bettermyths.com/chivalry-isnt-dead-you-just-dont-know-what-the-fuck-it-is/

Thu Apr 01, 2021 10:01 pm • 57 Replies • 14509 Views

Punishments

The folks saying that the punishment should be chosen to fit your dynamic and your transgression have a good point, but if you just want a bunch of ideas for inspiration here's an essay that might get ...

Wed Mar 31, 2021 12:20 am • 19 Replies • 7023 Views

Separating Finance from play

I don't get bombarded with requests for cash. I haven't received a single commercial solicitation on this site. I have had a bunch of pleasant conversations with actual kinky people, and I've been pro ...

Wed Mar 31, 2021 12:13 am • 15 Replies • 3906 Views

Separating Finance from play

Here's how it works.

Cisgender men face massively lower risks around sexuality than people of any other gender. So there are way, way more of us who don't think twice about logging onto a kinky web ...

Tue Mar 30, 2021 7:33 pm • 15 Replies • 3906 Views

Re: Master v Dom v sub v slave

IYou never (or I don’t think I’ve ever) seen someone being called out for not being a slave.

I've seen a ton of that. I see it both from manipulative D-types ("If you were a real slave you would do ...

Mon Mar 29, 2021 3:04 am • 17 Replies • 5856 Views

Earning Your Leathers

Getting education, getting connected to kink communities and learning about/from kinky culture, and being humble about your experience and abilities are all certainly good things.

At the same time, ...

Sun Mar 28, 2021 5:47 am • 9 Replies • 2478 Views