LadySusweca(dom trans woman)
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4 years ago •
Aug 24, 2020
Like someone pointed out before it comes down to does a Dominant have the skills that make a submissive feel complete. If all the D knows is how to spank and that is all the s wants then what is problem? If they wish to explore further and learn more such as using a violet wand, tens unit, or wartenburg wheels then they can do that together which could also help build trust and bring them even closer together. It is better for a Dominant to admit they don't know something than hurt a submissive cause they think it seems easy enough. Sometimes that is what is lacking in the younger Dominants is the maturity to say, "I don't know".
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Miki(masochist female)
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4 years ago •
Aug 24, 2020
I've done young, and I have done older.. I don't "expect" anyone to perform to a determined level. Rather, I wish for someone to be willing to try things, in my case, as a Maso Girl I want them to be willing to slap me around, take their belt to my ass and/or my back-- but if they are new to The Game, a simple slap on my ass is a good starter.
In the meantime if they fuck my brains out, I'll teach them over time how to really get me off. Umm Short answer? I do not judge a male or female dominant on early performance. I thank them for what they gave me and ask them to tell me what they want next. Miki |
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Aquarius Dom(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Aug 24, 2020
It doesn’t matter what you do in life you can’t buy experience, we all only learn by doing !
As I’ve said many times Ds doesn’t come with a rule book , we should all work together to craft the experience we want as opposed to accepting the one we get ! This isn’t the nilla world , it’s a world where deepest darkest desires can be revealed without judgement My belief and I’m quite prepared to be wrong is that people rush into meets without going through the steps of understanding what each party needs and desires ! Know and understand why limits and boundaries are in place Discuss specifics required on the meet, nothing worse than a rabbit out of the hat, or a cock up your ass when it’s unexpected Remember SSC and RACK But above all make it the best experience it can be for both of you !!! |
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shortylotus(dom female)
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4 years ago •
Aug 24, 2020
This is a two way street here. I personally don't want a dom under 35. However most doms who are over 35 want a sub who is under 35. Now I know this doesn't apply to everybody. Its just a trend you sometimes see in and outside the bdsm world
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tallslenderguy(other male)
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4 years ago •
Aug 24, 2020
MissBonnie wrote: Devils advocate here and just throwing out some more food for thought...
So does one (as in the Dom/me) need to know it all? or just the skills s/he needs to make their world complete? my brain went a similar direction. More than experience or knowledge, i value maturity. i see a sort of cultural condition among some Dom's where they seem to feel the pressure or obligation to list their credentials. To me, there is nothing wrong with that that, but i don't put much weight on it. i think experience and/or knowledge is only as useful as the user who uses it. i avoid a "know it all" because i think that is delusional. And it's not just a Dom thing, there is a sub guy on this site who writes long posts and always seems in offensive mode, asserting authority about what it true and what is not... to me, that's just obnoxious. He may have some good points amongst all his assertions, but it's hard to get around his attitude he is on such a high horse all the time. i love anyone who has a little bit of humility thrown in. To me, there are no authorities on BDSM, i don't see absolutes, but a lot of needs and desires on both sides of the fence. my feel is, someone who already 'knows it all," has stopped listening and looking because they already think they see and have heard Their partner becomes invisible because all they see and hear is their knowledge and experience. i think knowledge and experience are just part of the mix, some of the ingredients. To me, the mark of maturity is someone who can carry their knowledge and/or experience and mix it in with everything else, not use it to dominate with, as the main ingredient, but use it as part of the recipe. |
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chattel(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Aug 25, 2020
While I would prefer a Dom to be experienced that is because it seems to me a lot of those without experience as a Dom have unreasonable views of the lifestyle.
I have been four days and my first question when someone contacts is "what are your expectations for your slave?" And the response has been a handful of times " do whatever I say", that's not SSC, an understanding an experienced Dom would have, or a good beginning to a conversation of submission . I personally would prefer, "I don't yet, this is new for me" At the same time most younger women prefer men their own age. So it's a balance most of us are trying to find I think |
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| hank submissive male(sub male) |
4 years ago •
Aug 25, 2020
I hope to find a Domme around my age and i hope she is experienced because some of the younger dommes just want someone who will do what they want and do not care about what the sub needs or wants most dommes are looking for a sub who is not a doormat but rather a gentleman sub who knows how to treat a woman especially one who he deems fit to be a queen as she prizes him to be worthy of serving her
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theresalexas(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Aug 26, 2020
I would prefer a Dom to be experienced too. i got a lot to offer for real people related to bdsm. hope find one some day ....
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House Talion(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Aug 26, 2020
As knowledge is just as important as experience, the generalization of finding a 30 or under dom of such is practicly laughable
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