Is it a kink or fetish? And is there a difference :3

Is it a kink or fetish? And is there a difference :3

sugabomb​(sub female) • Oct 2, 2024

Please be respectful because I’m learning!!
So, I really like anal. Probably more than vaginal sex. Like I crave it, it’s what gets me going and I feel like it’s one of the best ways a dom can show ownership but I like it more than just a kink I feel like, like I would pick it over everything and anything, so does that mean it’s a fetish? Or is it still just a kink? Sorry XD I’m rambling

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Oct 2, 2024

To my old ass eyes: Yes

A kink is something not vanilla. Now the problem is a good deal of vanillas have adopted some kinks and wimped them out. Plus kinks can be something that you do but can take or leave.

A fetish is something that drives you. For me, it is my multi decade foot fetish. I've had that before I even knew I was kinky.

Kelpi • Oct 3, 2024

LOL m y ex was like that she would want me to get nice and wet from here cunt while teasing her about how I was going to slowly pound her ass. Then she would cuss me out till I did do her ass. She would cum so much harder in her ass than her cunt. It is the only thing I miss about her.

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Oct 3, 2024

You're kind of in a gray area with this one both in how you would define vanilla and being drawn to the act itself. It seems that you would consider anal sex a non-traditional sex act, so it would count to you as a kink or fetish, but while a fetish is fairly easy to define in terms of a focus on a specific object, it's not as easy to define when applied to a practice. I think the differentiation would be more on whether or not you consider your preference for anal sex to detract from other acts, but that might be digging a bit deeper than you actually want to go.

Re: Is it a kink or fetish? And is there a difference :3

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 4, 2024

What a relief to read that original post. I had thought I was either unique or one of very, very few who preferred that point of entry and for the exact same reasons....

Nice to know I'm not a complete weirdo.

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Fetishes, from my POV I always concurred with the dictionary definition:

["...sexual desire in which gratification is strongly linked to a particular object or activity or a part of the body other than the sexual organs."]

Generally non erogenous body parts. There are a lot of foot dudes, (I never had to put up with any of those, and in my experience decent bastinado practitioners don't count)

But I have dealt with fetishists.. I ran into one dude years ago who had an ear fetish. He rubbed his willie while pulling, crinkling, and snapping my ears. (they don't have a lot of cartilage so they crinkle up easy) -- Needless to say I never invited that joker back for another night.
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So, preferring to take it in the ass with optional vigorous humping isn't a fetish as far as I perceive those.

I'mME • Oct 4, 2024

Fetish vs a kink. I agree with Topeka

*A kink is something not vanilla. Now the problem is a good deal of vanillas have adopted some kinks and wimped them out. Plus kinks can be something that you do but can take or leave.*

Back some years ago, a fetish was something you had to have in order for sexual acts to be enjoyable and/or get off.

Now, kinks are being fetishes. WHAT? Literary games galore.

Now, vanilla people have taken the word fetish and made it a negative word. They will attach it to anything to make price their point. As if attaching the word fetishize or fetishization of something means end of discussion, accept it.

Another example of why words and their definitions are so important.

Softnote​(masochist female) • Nov 10, 2024

The lifestyle in my eyes more of art not a fetish bit old school respect with dignity comes in favor. D/s has always been and trust with bond. The best things come unexpectedly at the right time when you least expect it. You can't force a connection to be in the right vibration at the right time. More of a feeling a soul spark, it's very rare. Only one for one not in sharing sorry to break it to you.On the same page on the same level with the vibe and feeling. Not anti social just selective social as soul selective feeling connection. Just how I see it. But everyone see's diffren't but I could never leave as a fetish a fetish like addiction that one does swing with me.

LatexHer​(dom male) • Nov 10, 2024

I have what some may call a fetish for corsets, leather, PVC, vinyl, and leather - But do NOT require a woman to wear any to enjoy sex! Like many men, we are often turned on by what we see - shiny things. Perhaps my affliction with Bondage and D/s could be considered a fetish by some? Who cares what others may think or believe? I don't!

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Nov 11, 2024

This is interesting in that there are different takes on what a fetish is. My understanding would be more like TD and IM's, a drive so strong you need it for sexual gratification.

For instance, LatexHer has a strong desire for corsets, leather, pvc, vinyl and leather but doesn't require a woman to wear it to enjoy sex. His desires are more kink than fetish.

IM points out that the definition for fetish used to be a kink you had to have to get off... but that it's changed and that kinks are being fetishes.

40% of couples had anal sex according to 2022 statistics, so anal is "kinky" in that it's out of the norm.

You, SB, "crave it" and "would pick it over anything", so, IMHO, you have an anal fetish more than a kink. You might not require it but you need it.

Re: Is it a kink or fetish? And is there a difference :3

IronWorld​(sadist male) • Nov 11, 2024

Honestly, you're just splitting hairs. The only functional difference between the words and how they're used is in the original definition of each word, and nowadays most would just use them interchangeably. I wouldn't worry about it.